蓝领世界中的白领人

 　　White-Collar Man in a Blue-Collar World

　　My job requires skills, like driving a forklift, I haven't got. My Ivy 1 League education won't help me now.
　　Can you drive a forklift? Those five deflating words instantly alerted me that my prep－school background and advanced degrees would mean nothing on the new job.
　　蓝领世界中的白领人
　　我的工作所要求的技能，比如开叉车，是我所不具备的。我的名牌大学教育背景现在毫无用处。
　　"你会开叉车吗？"这句听起来让人泄气的话一下提醒了我，我上大学之前所受的教育和大学中得到的学位在这份工作中都毫无用处。
　　Like thousands last year, I was downsized from one of those sizzling dotcoms, now dot－gone. Faced with a shrinking job market, I turned to manual labor 2. It’s a common trend, now that unemployment is at 5.8 percent. But the transition is seldom seamless.
　　While the new boss was mildly disgusted when I couldn’t drive the forklift, he was apoplectic 3 when he tossed me a wrench 4 to open a hydrant and saw me tightening 5 it with all my strength. “Wrong direction!”he exploded. “Lefty loosey; righty tighty. ”
　　去年，如同成千上万的人一样，我被一家网络公司裁了员，这些网络公司火爆一时，如今都已成了昨日黄花。由于就业市场萎缩，我不得不去干体力活。这是一个普遍的趋势，因为失业率已经达到了5.8％。但是这种转变总是令人难熬的。
　　听说我不会开叉车，新老板有些不悦。他扔给我一把扳手让我打开一个水龙头，却看见我使足了吃奶的力气越拧越紧，他简直要气疯了，"你搞错方向了。"他大吼起来，"往左是松，往右是紧?"
　　I didn’t know that. Indeed, there is a whole tool kit 6 of basic skills that Andover, Bates, Columbia and Harvard never equipped me with. But there are mo ments when I shine. I can read the Latin on every public building we pass. When the truckdriver from Quebec arrived with an 18－wheeler of mulch and I began conversing 7 in near－flawless Parisian French about his long journey and breakfast of croissants, my boss’s eyes lit up.
　　In hydroseeding, my main responsibility is to guide 200 feet of heavy, serpentine 8 hose while the boss sprays the slime. But there’s more to my job than wrestling the anaconda.
　　这一点我的确不知道。实际上，有许多基本技能,安多佛、贝兹、哥伦比亚和哈佛大学都没有教过我。但是我也有闪光的时候，我能读懂每一座我们所经过的建筑上的拉丁文。当一辆满载地面覆盖物的18轮大卡车从魁北克开来的时候，我开始用近乎纯正的巴黎法语跟司机聊起他的旅程和羊角面包的早餐，这时老板的眼睛一下亮了起来。
　　在播种的时候，我的主要工作是在老板向地上喷洒种子和黏胶混合物的时候，拖着200英尺长的沉重的蛇形管。但是我的工作可不仅仅是拖着一条像蟒蛇一样的管子。
　　Sometimes the hose gets clogged 9. Sometimes the chain comes off the mixer. And sometimes I have to use the side mirrors to move the 60,000－pound truck in reverse. All these situations require an all－around mechanical common sense that is as important to the blue－collar worker as the ability to navigate 10 Microsoft Office is to the white－collar one. These are the"value subtracted"moments my background has not prepared me for.
　　So I'm happy when those occasions arise when I can offer the benefits of my education. Of course, it annoys the hell out of my boss how rarely my skill set actually helps us out. And it amazes him how I'm forever dawdling 11 with my coffee and misplacing it at job sites. Or how I'm morbidly 12 preoccupied 13 with safety－－like the time, fearing electrocution, when I refused to hold up a lowhanging cable wire to allow our tall truck to pass beneath. （"It carries a signal, not a current!"he hollered, grabbing it for dramatic effect. ）
　　有时管子被堵住了，有时卡圈从接合器上掉下来了，有时我必须用侧视镜来倒车，而这辆卡车有６万镑重。这些都需要有良好的机械常识，对蓝领工人来说，这就像使用微软办公系统对于白领阶层一样重要。这些都是我所不具备的，都是我"跌价"的时刻。
　　所以，当碰到能显示我所受教育的优势的时候，我就显得格外的高兴。当然，我的技能能够派上用场的时候太少了，这常常把我老板气得够呛。而且看着我慢吞吞地喝着咖啡，在工地随便乱放，也弄得他无可奈何。还有当我过分强调安全的时候，就像有一次，我拒绝举起一根垂得太低的电缆线，以便让我们的卡车通过。（他大喊起来："那里面只有信号，没有电流。"说罢一手夺了过去。）
　　In some ways, ours is a clash of cultures. On days off, the boss changes the oil in his pickup 14, retiles his kitchen floor or does brickwork；I take my car through the automatic wash, go bird watching or read"Nicholas Nickleby. "This last tickles 15 him－－so mighty 16 are my struggles reading maps.
　　But I'm just as strong as he is, and can match him bale for bale, hoisting 17 the 50－pound sacks of seed we fill the truck with. So there is the basis for a bit of grudging 18 respect. And for all of my drawbacks, I am at least reliable－－a vestige 19, perhaps, of the grim"show up at your desk at all costs（if only to sit there）"ethic.
　　But still it caught me off guard when, with the air now cold and the hydroseeding season over, the boss inquired recently："Can you drive a snowplow?"
　　从某种意义上来说，我们的冲突是不同文化间的冲突。在休息日里，老板会给他的小货车换油，或是重铺厨房地板，或做瓦工活；我则开车去自动洗车场，出去观鸟，或是读《尼克拉斯·尼科比》（狄更斯小说）。这最后一项使他感到很好笑，因为我看地图时总是很费劲。
　　但是我跟他一样地强壮，论体力我们可以一对一地较量，在把每包重５０磅的种子扛上卡车时，他扛一包，我也能扛一包。所以在这点上，即使不情愿，他也不能不对我有所敬重。尽管我有许多弱点，但我至少是可靠的---也许是我的脑子里还留着旧的道德观念?";不论付出什么代价也要准点上班（哪怕只是坐在那里）"。
　　但是最近天气转冷，育种的季节已过，老板突然问我"你会不会开扫雪机？"，我一下感到措手不及。