自由职业很惬意？知道真相好心塞！

 　　I feel like I've been hired by Dateline to write this exposé (related: if you are a Dateline producer, have your people call my people--we'll do lunch).

　　我感觉我自己像是为Dateline 来写这篇文章的（如果你是Dateline的制作人，让你的下属联系我们——我们可以一起共进午餐）。
　　Time and time again, I hear from folks who are freelance-curious (nothing wrong with exploring new lifestyles) who think working for yourself amounts to a walk in the park. Literally 1, more walks in the park than actual work.
　　我又一次听到对自由职业好奇的人（探索新的生活方式并没有错）说起给自己打工就像在公园散步一样简单容易。事实上，实际工作比你想象的复杂。
　　Let me break it down for you, and bring your dreams of money-fights back to reality...
　　让我给你慢慢道来，打破你的赚钱梦，带你回归现实...
　　自由职业很惬意？知道真相好心塞！
　　Myth No. 1: You can work from home in your underwear! 
　　神话1：你可以穿着内衣在家上班！
　　Reality: The only reason you're working at home in your underwear is because you're so busy you haven't had time to get dressed...in four days. And now, your mother is coming over to visit and you also realize that you haven't done dishes or even bathed in the last four days, either.
　　现实是：穿内衣在家工作的唯一原因是你忙得连衣服都没时间穿...长达四天时间。现在，当你老妈来看你时，你才意识到四天时间既没有洗碗，也没有洗澡。
　　Myth No. 2: All freelancers 3 make a ton of money!
　　神话2：所有的自由职业者都能赚很多钱！
　　Reality: Hold off on buying that 157-ft. yacht for a few minutes. Sure, you can charge decent money as a freelancer 2, but those rates also need to cover ALL your expenses, including MacBooks, iMacs, iPhones, Apple Watches, and even a few non-Apple products (like software, a desk, a chair, an internet connection, website hosting, a mailing list, etc., etc., etc.). You also need to think about insurance, savings 4 and investing, and paying a large chunk 5 of your hard-earned cash money to the government.
　　现实是: 先等会儿再买下那个157英尺的游艇。无疑，做自由职业者可以有一份体面的工资，但是那也得用来支撑你所有的支出，包括苹果电脑，iMacs，苹果手机，苹果智能手表，还有一些非苹果的产品（像软件，桌子，椅子，宽带，虚拟主机，邮寄名单等等等等等）。此外，你也得考虑保险，储蓄，投资，还有把你辛苦挣来的大把血汗钱上缴国家。
　　Myth No. 3: No more bosses means no more stresses!
　　神话3：没有老板就没有压力！
　　Reality: Know how you get hired by clients who give you money and expect work? Well, those people are your new bosses. And instead of having one boss, you've now got ALL OF THE BOSSES. They all want your time, your attention, and for you to reply to their 14 emails right now. Even though you're your own boss (think Mona from that show in the '80s), you still have to answer to a lot of other people.
　　现实是：知道那些给你钱让你干活的顾客是怎么雇用你的嘛？好吧，这些人也就是你的新老板。你不再是只有一个老板了，所有顾客都成了你的老板。他们都需要你花时间，要你关注，让你立马回复他们的14封邮件。即便你是你自己的老板，你仍然需要亲自应付很多人。
　　Myth No. 4: You now have free time all the time!
　　神话4：你一直都有空余时间！
　　Reality: Sure, technically 6 you can brush off work on a Wednesday to day-drink in your underwear and binge on Netflix. Really, though, if you aren't working, you aren't making money. Which is why most freelancers will work more than 40 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week for someone else.
　　现实是：理论上来说，你是可以在一个星期三扔掉工作，穿着内衣小酌，或是一直在网飞上刷剧。可是，如果你不上班，你也没钱赚。这就是为什么大多数自由职业者不愿为别人一周干40小时，却仍然一周工作超过40个小时的原因。
　　Myth No. 5: Your work can't even be considered work anymore because it's so awesome 7 to do!
　　神话5：你的工作不是工作，因为你做的事简直很酷！
　　Reality: Until someone monetizes Netflix-binging as a career, working for yourself still means a whole lot of work. Especially in the beginning, you'll have to work harder than ever because you aren't just responsible for doing the work, you're also responsible for FINDING the work. That takes time. Sometimes a METRIC TON of time. Seriously though, someone please find a way that I can monetize binge-watching TV series on Netflix....
　　现实是：除非有人能将在网飞上刷剧定为一种职业，为自己工作仍旧需要干很多活。特别是在刚开始，你不得不比以前更加努力因为你不再是只负责做一项工作，你还负责挖掘工作。这需要时间，有时会花掉一大把时间。说真的，有没有人能让我把在网飞上刷剧当成一份职业啊....
　　Myth No. 6: No more red tape or corporate 8 bureaucracy!
　　神话6：没有繁文缛节，也没有公司官僚主义！
　　Reality: All the administrativia that goes with working for a company will now be replaced with you having to do ALL OF THE JOBS. Payroll 9, accounting 10, legal, sales, marketing 11, and project management...all on top of the work you are getting hired to do.
　　现实是：在公司工作时的所有行政工作都将由你代劳。工资，财务，法务，销售，市场还有项目管理...以上所有工作你都得做。
　　Myth No. 7: Now you can be that lone 12 wolf you've always wanted to be!
　　神话7：现在你可以成为你一直憧憬的独行侠！
　　Reality: Loners and introverts 13 can be drawn 14 to freelancing, with visions of sitting alone all day, listening to Sigur Rós and not having to talk to anyone. Unfortunately, clients like to communicate with you, and building your brand and awareness 15 of your services requires lots and lots of connecting. You can't just sit in your fortress 16 of solitude 17 and watch streams of work flow your way.
　　现实是：带着能够独自待一天，默默一人听着Sigur Rós的愿景，独行者和孤僻家一定憧憬自由职业。不幸啊，一方面客户想要和你交流，一方面建立你自己的品牌，提升你的服务需要很多很多的沟通。你不能只是守着你孤独的堡垒，让工作流擦肩而过。
　　Myth No. 8: Freelancing is great for people when you can't hold down a job!
　　神话8：当你保不住工作时，自由职业是一件很好的选择！
　　Reality: Many folks are drawn to freelancing because they don't want to work for the WOMAN, MAN, or ROBOT OVERLORD. But if you're too flaky to hold down a job, then you're going to be way too flaky to work for yourself. There won't be anyone looking over your shoulder to make sure the work is getting done. There'll just be pissed off clients who don't want to pay you because you bailed 18 on the deadlines they gave you.
　　现实是：很多人憧憬着自由职业，因为他们不愿意为任何女人，男人或者是机器主子干活，但是如果不靠谱到保不住工作，那么你为你自己工作也不会靠谱到哪去。这里没有人会监督你确保你做完你的工作。这里只会有不付钱恼怒的顾客，因为你违反了他们规定的截止日期。
　　Myth No. 9: All you need is a website!
　　神话9：你只需要一个网站就好！
　　Reality: Too many new freelancers think that their portfolio 19 website is a money-printing machine. All you need to do is set it up and watch the money roll in! This couldn't be further from the truth--if the right people aren't finding your website, trusting your work, and understanding the problem that your services solve, your site will sit, collect dust, and never be Google's BFF.
　　现实是：很多新的自由职业者以为他们的个人网页就是印钞机。你只需要设置一下，就等钱滚滚而来！现实并非如此——如果客户没有找到你们的网站，不信任你的工作，不明白你的服务解决了什么问题，那么你的网站也只能闲置，盖灰，永远不会成为谷歌的好朋友。
　　Don't get me wrong, working for yourself can amount to the most awesome and rewarding choice you'll ever make. But only if you do it right (and by "do it right," I mean, "put a ton of work into it").
　　别误会，自由职业还是一个很有意思且回报颇丰的选择，但前提是你方法正确（所谓方法正确，我的意思就是多卖力的去工作）。