中英双语新闻——My ears hurt! Send us a decent commentator

 　　Soccer fans across China moaning about the quality of commentary during this World Cup should remember: You’re not alone.

 
　　本届世界杯期间，每位对赛事解说怨声载道的中国球迷要记得：你不是一个人。
 
　　All over the world, if there is one thing a soccer fan likes to do – other than see their team score a great goal – it’s complain about the commentary. Whether it’s a lack of research, a heavy bias 1 or simply using too many clichés, just about the only thing most soccer supporters can agree on is that the commentary and analysis of the sport is useless.
 
　　除了观看自己球队的漂亮进球，恐怕全球的球迷只剩下一个共同的嗜好了——那就是抱怨赛事解说。不论解说是缺乏研究，或者带有严重个人倾向，抑或只是过多地发表一些陈词滥调，大部分球迷的共识是：运动赛事的评论分析毫无用处。
 
　　Ex-Newcastle and England striker Alan Shearer 2, who is supposed to provide expert analysis on British television, has been one pundit 3 heavily attacked over the last couple of weeks. He is often caught not recognizing players, especially when smaller countries play. Even when he does have something to say, it is usually a case of stating the obvious.
 
　　曾先后在纽卡斯尔队和英格兰队效力的球员阿兰?希勒，本应该在英国电视节目中为观众提供专业球评；但在过去的几周中这位足球评论员饱受抨击。他常常会认错球员，尤其在小国间的比赛中。甚至当他发表评论时，通常也都是陈述一些显而易见的状况。
 
　　What makes a good commentator 4? The job of a commentator changes dramatically depending on sport, culture and simply what different fans want.
 
　　那么一名称职的解说员应当具备哪些条件呢？要知道由于赛事，文化和球迷喜好的不同，解说员的工作内容也会发生很大变化。
 
　　In South America for example, soccer commentary usually takes the form of excited shouting, and loud cries of “GOOOOOOAL” every time a team scores.
 
　　比如在南美洲，足球解说通常采用一种激动呐喊的方式；每当有球队进球，解说员便会大喊：“好球！”
 
　　English sports fans sometimes cringe when they hear commentary on US sports. In the US, commentators 5 tend to shout more, and be more dramatic with their statements.
 
　　每当收听美国运动赛事的解说时，英国体育迷们有时会想退避三舍。在美国，评论员更愿意大喊大叫，解说也更加戏剧化。
 
　　Compare that passionate 6 style to a tennis commentator in the UK, who remains 7 calm no matter how exciting the match is. A tennis commentator will make thoughtful comments about how the match is progressing, and he or she will only ever speak between points. This means the viewer can concentrate fully 8 on the action.
 
　　这种激情四射的评论方式同英国网球评论员形成鲜明对比，后者无论赛事多么精彩也依旧保持淡定。网球评论员会对赛事全程进行周到的解说，他们从来都是简单地谈论双方比分。这也意味着观众可以全神贯注地观看球员的一举一动。
 
　　Specialist sports, such as cricket and golf, often include a lot of sporting jargon 9 in the commentary. Because these sports attract more serious fans, their commentators assume that their audience are already experts.
 
　　像板球和高尔夫这样的专业赛事中，解说词常常会包含许多专业术语。这些赛事的球迷们更为专业，因此解说员们自然认为观众们已然是专家了。
 
　　Despite people’s criticism of commentary, they are often reluctant to see anything changed. For example, female commentators tend to be poorly received by male soccer fans, who often believe that it’s impossible for a woman to truly understand soccer. Yet when a commentator becomes familiar, they are often loved regardless of whether or not they are any good.
 
　　尽管人们纷纷指责解说无用，但他们常常不愿接受改变。例如，男球迷们很难接受女性评论员，他们坚信女性无法真正了解足球。而如果评论员是一张熟面孔，那么无论解说得好坏，他们往往都会受到球迷拥趸。
 
　　After all, the commentator is the person you share your joy with when your team scores a late winning goal, or cry out in despair with after losing a penalty shoot out. So let’s hope for some commentators who are passionate about the game, understand the game and are not scared to voice their opinion. Even if that means shouting “GOOOOOOAL” when your team scores.
 
　　说到底，足球评论员是那个当你支持的球队攻入制胜的关键一球时，与之分享喜悦的人；是那个当你的球队痛失点球出局时，可以与之抱头痛哭的人。那么就让我们期待能出现更多充满激情，洞悉赛事并且敢于直抒己见的解说员。即使他（她）只是在你的球队进球时大喊：“好球！”
 
　　Below are three classic lines by commentators:
 
　　下面是三条经典的足球解说：
 
　　■ “Lord Nelson! Lord Beaverbrook! Sir Winston Churchill! Sir Anthony Eden! Clement 10 Attlee! Henry Cooper! Lady Diana! Maggie Thatcher 11 – can you hear me, Maggie Thatcher! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!”
 
　　“纳尔逊勋爵！比弗布鲁克男爵！丘吉尔爵士！艾登爵士！克莱门特?艾德礼！亨利?库柏！戴安娜王妃！麦吉?撒切尔——麦吉，撒切尔，你听见了吗？你的孩子们被狠狠暴揍了一顿！被狠狠地暴揍了一顿！”
 
　　— by Bjorge Lillelien, a Norwegian sports commentator, on Norwegian TV when Norway beat England 2-1 in a World Cup qualifier in 1981.
 
　　——以上是1981年的世界杯预选赛中，挪威队2比1击败英格兰时，挪威解说员 Bjorge Lillelien在电视节目中的经典评论。
 
　　■ “It’s a game of two halves.”
 
　　上下半场赛况两重天啊。
 
　　■ “There are no easy games in football.”
 
　　足球比赛要获胜可不是件容易的事儿。