自考英语综合二下册课文 lesson 7

　　[00:00.00]Lesson Seven  Text

[00:04.88]Some Meanings of Authentic 1 Love Gerald Correy & Marianne Schneider Correy

[00:13.71]So far, we've discussed mostly what we think love is not.

[00:20.27]Now we'd like to share some of the positive meanings love has for us.

[00:27.53]Love means that I knout the person I love.

[00:32.89]I'm aware of the many sides of the other person

[00:37.64]not just the beautiful side but also the limitations,inconsistencies and flaws

[00:46.71]I have an awareness 2 of the other's feelings and thoughts,

[00:52.27]and I experience something of the core of that person.

[00:58.15]I can penetrate 3 social masks and roles

[01:03.40]and see the other person on a deeper level.

[01:07.50]Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love.

[01:14.16]To the extent that it is genuine,

[01:18.21]my caring is not a smothering 4 of the person or a possessive clinging.

[01:25.58]On the contrary, my caring liberates 5 both of us.

[01:31.74]If I care about you,I'm concerned about your growth,

[01:37.80]and I hope you will become all that you can become.

[01:42.84]Consequently, I don't put up roadblocks

[01:47.89]to what you dothat enhances you as a person,

[01:53.53]even though it may result in my discomfort 6 at times.

[01:59.09]Love means having respect for the dignity of the peraon I love.

[02:05.57]If I love you, I can see you as a separate person,

[02:12.02]with your own values and thoughts and feelings,

[02:17.87]and I do not insist that you surrender your identity and conform to an image

[02:25.53]of what I expect you to be for me.

[02:30.49]I can allow and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are,

[02:37.34]and I avoid treating you

[02:41.41]as an object or using you primarily to gratify my own needs.

[02:48.18]Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love.

[02:54.84]If I love you, I'm responsive to most of your major needs as a person.

[03:02.41]This responsibility does not entail 7 my doing for you

[03:08.58]what you are capable of doing for yourself;

[03:13.72]nor does it mean that I run your life for you.

[03:18.87]It does imply acknowledging that what I am and what I do affects you,

[03:27.41]so that I am directly involved in your happiness and your misery 8.

[03:34.28]A lover does have the capacity to hurt or neglect the loved one,

[03:40.94]and in this sense I see that love entails 9 an acceptance of some responsibility

[03:48.99]for the impact my way of being has on you.

[03:54.55]Love means growth for both myself and the person I love.

[04:00.43]If I love you, I am growing as a result of my love.

[04:06.60]You are a stimulant 10 for me to become more fully 11 what I might become,

[04:13.44]and my loving enhances your being as well.

[04:19.60]We each grow as a result of caring and being cared for;

[04:25.35]we each share in an enriching experience that does not detract from our being.

[04:32.80]Love means making a commitment to the person I love.

[04:38.13]This commitment does not entail surrendering our total selves to each other;

[04:44.60]nor does it imply that the relationship is necessarily permanent.

[04:51.45]It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain,

[04:58.68]uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment 12.

[05:08.64]Love means trusting the person I love.

[05:13.18]If I love you,I trust that you will accept my caring

[05:18.82]and my love and that you won't deliberately 13 hurt me.

[05:24.39]I trust that you will find me lovable and that you won't abandon me;

[05:29.56]I trust the reciprocal nature of our love.

[05:34.29]If we trust each other we are willing to be open to each other

[05:40.45]and can shed masks and pretenses 14 and reveal our true selves.

[05:47.12]In a love relationship there are times of boredom 15,

[05:53.78]times when I may feel like giving up, times of real strain,

[06:00.72]and times I experience an impasse 16.

[06:05.69]Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness.

[06:11.54]I can stay during rough times, however,

[06:16.89]because I can remember what we had together in the past,

　　[06:22.85]and I can picture what we will have together in our future

[06:28.49]if we care enough to face our problems and work them through.

[06:34.97]We agree with Reverend Meier

[06:38.92]when he writes that love is a spirit that changes life.

[06:45.58]Love is a way of life that is creative and that transforms.

[06:51.61]However, Maier does not view love as being reserved for a perfect world.

[07:00.26]"Love is meant or our imperfect world where things go wrong.

[07:06.11]Love is meant to be a spirit that works in painful situations.

[07:12.64]Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears to reign 17."

[07:19.90]In other words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it livable.

[07:27.63]Love is freeing. Love is freely given, not doled 18 out on demand.

[07:35.99]At the same time,

[07:39.55]my love for you is not dependent on whether you fulfill 19 my expectations of you.

[07:46.91]Authentic love does not imply

[07:51.07]I'll love you when you become perfect

[07:55.22]or when you become what I expect you to become.

[07:59.97]Authentic love is not given with strings 20 attached.

[08:06.82]There is an unconditional 21 quality about love.

[08:12.28]Love is expansive.

[08:15.93]If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships.

[08:24.11]Although our love for each other

[08:28.06]and our commitment to each other might bar certain actions on our parts,

[08:34.82]we are not totally and exclusively wedded 22 to each other.

[08:40.28]It is a pseudo love that cements one person to another

[08:47.93]in such a way that heor she is not given room to grow.

[08:54.60]Casey and Vanceburg

[08:58.44]put this notion well:

[09:02.07]The honest evidence of our love

[09:06.30]is our commitment to encouraging another's full development.

[09:12.54]We are interdependent personalities 23

[09:17.09]who need one another's presencein order to fulfill our destiny.

[09:23.85]And yet, we are also separate individuals.

[09:30.02]We must come to terms with our struggles alone.

[09:35.48]Love means having a want for the person I love

[09:41.12]without having a need for that person in order to be complete.

[09:47.89]If I am nothing without you, then I'm not really free to love you.

[09:55.04]I love you and you leave, I'll experience a loss and be sad and lonely,

[10:03.30]but I'll still be able to survive.

[10:08.05]If I am overly dependent on you for my meaning and my survival,

[10:15.00]then I am not free to challenge our relationship;

[10:20.46]nor am I free to challenge and confront you.

[10:26.42]Because of my fear of losing you,I'll settle for less than I want,

[10:32.97]and this settling will surely lead to feelings of resentment 24.

[10:37.73]Love means identifying with the person I love.

[10:43.00]If I love you, I can empathize with you and see the world through your eyes.

[10:51.05]I can identify with you because I'm able to see myself in you and you in me.

[10:58.91]This closeness does not imply a continual "togetherness,"

[11:05.26]for distance and separation are sometimes essential in a loving relationship.

[11:12.71]Distance can intensify 25 a loving bond,

[11:18.06]and it can help us rediscover ourselves,

[11:22.81]so that we are able to 0meet each other in a new way.Love is selfish.

[11:30.55]I can only love you if I genuinely love,value,appreciate,and respect myself.

[11:39.30]If I am empty,then all I can give you is my emptiness.

[11:45.96]If I feel that I'm complete and worthwhile in myself,

[11:51.71]then I'm able to give to you out of my fullness.

[11:56.56]One of the best ways for me to give you love

[12:01.29]is by fully enjoying myself with you.

[12:06.13]Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love.

[12:11.69]In my love for another I view her or him as the person she or he can become,

[12:20.15]while still accepting who and what the person is now.

[12:26.32]Goethe's observation is relevant here:

[12:30.97]by taking people as they are, we make them worse,

[12:36.82]but by treating them as if they already were what they ought to be,

[12:44.08]we help make them better.

　　[12:47.56]We conclude this discussion of the meanings

[12:52.23]that authentic love has for us by sharing a thought

[12:57.69]from Fromm's The Art of Loving (1956).

[13:04.22]In love this paradox 26 occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.