自考英语综合一下册课文 lesson 11

　　[00:00.00]Text     The Emotional Bank Account--Secrets of Happy Families

[00:08.59]The Emotional Bank Account is like a financial bank account in one way:

[00:15.44]you can make"deposits"--actions that build trust

[00:20.79]--or you can make"withdrawals"that decrease it.

[00:26.36]It represents the quality of the relationship you have with other people.

[00:32.52]If you have a high balance,then communication is open and free.

[00:39.18]Let me share ideas for"deposits"you can make in your family:Cultivate kindness.

[00:47.26]Many years ago I spent an evening out with two of my sons.

[00:53.79]In the middle of the movie,Sean,then four,fell asleep.

[00:59.95]His older brother Stephen,six,stayed awake,

[01:05.52]and we watched the rest of the movie together.

[01:10.27]When it was over,I carried Sean to the car.

[01:15.31]It was cold,so I took off my coat and gently put it over him.

[01:21.87]When we arrived home,I carried Sean in,then lay down next to Stephen to talk.

[01:29.73]Suddenly he asked"Daddy,if I were cold,would you put your coat around me,too?

[01:38.38]Of all the events of our night out together,

[01:43.34]the most important was a little act of kindness--a showing of love to his brother.

[01:51.49]In relationships,the little things are the big things.

[01:56.85]They go a long way toward building trust and unconditional 1 love.

[02:03.30]Just think about the impact in your family of using words of courtesy

[02:09.54]such as thank you and please.

[02:13.80]Or unexpected acts of service,

[02:17.85]such as taking children shopping for something that's important to them.

[02:24.09]Or finding little ways to express love,

[02:28.64]such as leaving a note in a lunch box or briefcase 2.

[02:33.99]Earn an"A":apologize.

[02:39.06]Perhaps nothing tests our capacity to initiate 3 change

[02:44.70]as much as saying"I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends.

[02:51.36]That was wrong of me."

[02:54.52]"Sweetheart,I apologize for cutting you off.I was so rude.Please forgive me."

[03:01.89]Sometimes apologizing is incredibly hard,

[03:06.96]but the effort says,"Our relationship is very important to me."

[03:13.41]And that kind of communication builds the Emotional Bank Account.

[03:19.47]Learn loyalty 4.

[03:23.26]Next to apologizing,

[03:26.92]one of the most important deposits a person can make is to be loyal to family members when they are not present.

[03:36.06]In other words,talk about others as if they were there.

[03:41.91]That doesn't mean you're unaware 5 of their weaknesses.

[03:46.87]It means,rather,that you focus on the positive

[03:51.84]--and that if you do talk about weak-nesses,

[03:56.28]you do it in such a way that you wouldn't be ashamed to have the person overhear it.

[04:02.65]A friend had an 18-year-old son

[04:06.91]whose habits annoyed his brothers and sisters.

[04:11.95]When the boy wasn't there,the family often talked about him.

[04:17.83]At one point,

[04:20.88]this friend decided 6 to follow the principle of being loyal to those not present

[04:28.25]When such conversations developed,

[04:32.40]he gently interrupted and said something good

[04:37.16]that he had observed his son doing.

[04:41.21]Soon the conversation would shift to more interesting subjects.

[04:47.16]Our friend said he soon felt that the others began to connect with this principle of family loyalty.

[04:55.94]They realized that he'd also defend them if they were not present.

[05:02.29]And in some unexplainable manner

[05:07.25]--perhaps because be he started seeing his son differently

[05:12.29]--this change improved his Emotional Bank Account.

[05:17.44]Make--and keep--promises.

[05:21.70]Over the years people asked if I had one simple idea

[05:27.97]that would help others cope with problems,

[05:32.09]seize opportunities and make their lives successful.

[05:37.84]I give a four-word answer:"make and keep promises."

[05:45.10]My daughter,Cynthia,recalls something that happened when she was 12 years old

[05:51.58]:"Dad promised to take me with him on a business trip to San Francisco.

　　[05:57.54]We talked about the trip for months.

[06:01.67]After his meetings,we planned to take a cab to Chinatown

[06:07.52]and have our favorite food and see a movie.

[06:11.96]I was dying with expectation.

[06:16.40]"The day finally arrived.

[06:20.06]The hours dragged by as I waited for Dad to finish work.

[06:26.22]At about 6:30,he arrived with an influential 7 business acquaintance

[06:32.46]who wanted to take us to dinner.

[06:36.02]My disappointment was bigger than life.

[06:40.88]"I will never forget Dad saying to him,

[06:45.73]'I'd love to see you,but this is a special time with my girl.

[06:52.29]We've got it planned to the minute.'

[06:56.37]We did everything.That was just about the happiest time of my life.

[07:03.63]I don't think any young girl ever loved her father as much as I loved mine that night."

[07:11.49]I'm convinced that you would be hard pressed to come up with a deposit that has more impact in the family

[07:20.03]than making and keeping promises.

[07:24.58]Don't forget to forgive.

[07:28.63]For many,the ultimate deposit to the Emotional Bank Account comes in forgiving.

[07:35.89]When you forgive,you open the channels for trust and unconditional love.

[07:42.65]You cleanse 8 your heart.

[07:46.18]You also remove a major obstacle that keeps others from changing

[07:52.84]--because then you don't fogive,you put yourself between people and their conscience.

[08:00.42]Instead of spending their energy on work with their own conscience,

[08:06.27]they spend it defending and justifying 9 their behavior to you.

[08:12.30]In everything you do for your family,

[08:16.85]keep in mind the miracle of the Chinese bamboo.

[08:22.20]After the seed is planted,

[08:25.97]new,taller shoots appear until the bamboo reaches full height.

[08:32.13]But the most dramatic growth is underground,where the roots grow very strong.

[08:39.89]With this support,the bamboo can reach a height of 120 feet!

[08:47.05]The Emotional Bank Account can be like that.

[08:51.80]As you begin to make deposits,you may see positive results immediately.

[08:57.97]More often it will take weeks,months,even years.

[09:03.71]But results will come,and you will be astonished at the change.