2010年ESL之就医和人际交往 08 Getting a Girlfriend/Boyfriend Back

08 Getting a Girlfriend/Boyfriend Back

GLOSSARY 1

to get (someone) back – to convince or persuade someone to resume aromantic relationship that has been broken off; to begin dating someone againafter he or she has tried to end the romantic relationship

* Toyoshi tried to get his ex-girlfriend back by playing guitar and singing outsideher bedroom window late at night.

lost cause – something that will be impossible to do, so one shouldn’t even try

* After the lasagna burned and the dessert spilled on the floor, eating dinner athome was a lost cause, so they decided 2 to go to a restaurant instead.

to break up – to end a romantic relationship; to indicate that one no longer wantsto date another person

* Tomas and Laurel decided to break up because he wants to have kids, but shedoesn’t.

to take (someone) back – to agree to give someone a second chance in aromantic relationship; to decide to begin dating someone again after one hasbroken up with that person

* There’s nothing that would make me take you back, now that I know youcheated on me!

to prove (someone) wrong – to demonstrate that someone is incorrect

* Shelly thinks she’s smarter than Geraldo, but he’s going to prove her wrong bystudying hard and getting 100% on the next test.

to let bygones be bygones – to ignore or forget about bad things that havehappened in the past, especially when they are hurtful or painful things thatanother person did to oneself

* What you said really hurt my feelings, but I’ve decided to let bygones bebygones. Let’s be friends again.

to dupe – to fool someone; to trick someone; to make someone believesomething that isn’t true

* How did you get duped into buying that fake diamond ring?

empty promise – something one says one will do, but without really meaning todo it

* The kids said that if we got a dog, they’d feed it, wash it, and take it for walks,but those were just empty promises, so now we have to do all the work.

within reason – with moderation; without reaching extremes; without a verysmall or very large amount of something; as long as something remainsreasonable

* Her parents have offered to help them out financially within reason, but theyprobably won’t be able to loan them more than a few hundred dollars.

to rake up the past – to talk about things that happened previously 4, makingother people remember things that might otherwise have been forgotten orignored

* A lot of things happened when we were young, but sometimes it’s best not torake up the past and instead just focus on the future.

sincere – genuine; truthful 5 and honest; really meaning what one is saying ordoing

* If you give her a sincere apology, I’m sure she’ll forgive you.

to be crazy about (someone) – to like or love someone very much; to have verystrong feelings of affection and romantic attraction to another person

* I’ve been crazy about you since the first moment I saw you. Will you marryme?

to make the effort – to try very hard to do something, even if it isn’t successful

* Our boss said he really appreciated the way we made the effort to increasesales, even though we weren’t successful.

pride comes before a fall – a phrase meaning that if one is too confident inone’s abilities to do something, one will fail, because one isn’t really that good ortalented

* Joerg seems really confident that his new restaurant will be a success, butpride comes before a fall. We’ll see what happens.

to beg (someone) for (something) – to desperately 6 ask someone to do or givesomething, especially when it is very unlikely and that other person has all thepower to make the decision about it

* Noemi begged her boss for a raise, but there just isn’t enough money in thecompany’s budget this year.

mercy – compassion 7 and forgiveness; a willingness to be kind to another personwhen he or she doesn’t really deserve it

* The general showed mercy to the prisoner, refusing to kill him.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. What does Yuji mean when he says he’s going to get April back?

a) He’s looking forward to the spring.

b) He wants to start dating his girlfriend again.

c) He’s going to get revenge for what April did to him.

2. What does Grace mean when she says, “Pride comes before a fall”?

a) April broke up with Yuji because he was too proud.

b) Yuji became very proud in the late summer.

c) Yuji shouldn’t be as confident as he is.

______________

WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

cause

The phrase “lost cause,” in this podcast, means something that will be impossibleto do, so one shouldn’t even try: “Some people believe that trying to discover thetrue meaning is a lost cause.” The phrase “root cause” or “underlying cause” isused to talk about the real reason why something happens: “The root cause ofpoverty is a lack of education.” The phrase “to further the cause” means to helpother people fight against an important social problem: “She dedicated 8 her life tofurthering the cause, helping 9 women get the right to vote.” Finally, the phrase“with good cause” means justified 10, or with one’s feelings or actions beingreasonable: “In this economy, everyone is worried about losing their job, withgood cause.”

within reason

In this podcast, the phrase “within reason” means with moderation and withoutreaching extremes, or as long as something remains 3 reasonable: “The doctorsays that it’s okay to eat cookies and candy within reason, but don’t eat too muchof that kind of food.” The phrase “no reason” is sometimes used to answer aquestion when one doesn’t want to tell the other person the real answer: “A: Whydidn’t you come to class this morning? B: No reason.” The phrase “no rhyme orreason” means without any organization or logic 11: “The books were shelved withno rhyme or reason, making it very hard to find what you’re looking for.” Finally,the phrase “it stands to reason” is used to talk about something that is verylogical and should be understood rationally: “It stands to reason that inflation willrise if the government prints too much money.”

CULTURE NOTE

When Americans are “expecting a child” (pregnant and waiting for the birth), theyspend a lot of time “picking” (choosing) names. Some people pick “familynames” (names of relatives); others use “baby name books,” which are likedictionaries of names that they can read through until they find ones they like.

Sometimes the names of months are used for girls’ names, as in this episode ofESL Podcast. For example, you might meet girls and women named April, May,and June, although you probably won’t meet many people named after othermonths of the year. Usually these girls are born in the month they’re namedafter, but not always.

The “popularity” (how much something is liked and used or chosen) of nameschanges over time. In 2008, these were the 10 most popular names forAmerican girls and boys, based on data from the Social Security Administration:

Rank Boys Girls1 Jacob Emma2 Michael Isabella3 Ethan Emily4 Joshua Madison5 Daniel Ava6 Alexander Olivia7 Anthony Sophia8 William Abigail9 Christopher Elizabeth10 Matthew ChloeBoys’ names that end in the “an” or “en” sounds are becoming increasinglypopular. For example, many boys are being named Aiden, Jackson, Landon,Braden, Gavin, Owen, etc. Among girls’ names, Neveah is interesting because ithas become “quite” (very) popular over a short period of time. Neveah is“heaven” (paradise; where God lives and where good people go after death)spelled backwards 12.

_______________

Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – b; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT 13

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 586: Getting aGirlfriend or Boyfriend Back.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 586. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Our website is eslpod.com. Go there to download a Learning Guide for thisepisode that will contain lots of good information to help you improve yourEnglish even faster.

This episode is a dialogue between Grace and Yuji. It’s called “Getting aGirlfriend or Boyfriend Back,” meaning after you have separated – broken up,split up, you no longer are boyfriend and girlfriend – and then you want to get thatperson back into a relationship. Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Grace: What are you doing?

Yuji: I’m working on a plan to get April back.

Grace: I think that’s a lost cause. You guys broke up three months ago. There’sno way she’ll take you back.

Yuji: Watch me prove you wrong. When I tell April about all of the ways I’mgoing to change and to make her happy, she’ll let bygones be bygones.

Grace: You’re dreaming. She won’t be duped by a bunch of empty promises.

Yuji: They’re not empty promises. I really am going to change, within reason.

Grace: Do you really think April is going to forget all of the things you’ve done toher in the past?

Yuji: I’m not going to rake up the past. I’m going to show her the new me, andshe’ll know I’m sincere. After all, she used to be crazy about me. I’m sure it’sjust a matter of me making the effort.

Grace: Pride comes before a fall, you know. I think you’d have a better chance ifyou got down on your knees and begged her for mercy!

[end of dialogue]

Grace begins by asking Yuji, “What are you doing?” Yuji says, “I’m working on aplan to get April back.” April was his girlfriend. “To get (someone) back” meansto convince or persuade someone to continue a romantic relationship that youhad stopped or the other person had stopped.

Grace says, “I think that’s a lost cause.” A “cause” (cause), as a noun, can besomething that you are fighting for, something that you want to change about theworld. Your cause could be world peace or ending world hunger. That would bea cause. The expression “a lost cause” means that you will never be able toaccomplish that; it’s impossible for you to do. We use this in daily conversationwhen we see someone trying to do something and we want to tell them that itwould be impossible to do that; we might say, “That’s a lost cause.” Grace thinksthat trying to get April back is a lost cause. She says, “You guys (meaning youtwo) broke up three months ago.” “To break up” means to end a romanticrelationship. It’s a phrasal verb meaning you no longer want to be with this otherperson. “There’s no way,” Grace says, “April will take you back.” “To take(someone) back” is the opposite of “to get (someone) back” in that you are theone who agrees to resume the relationship. So if I want to get my girlfriend backshe would have to take me back; that is, accept that we will continue therelationship.

Yuji doesn’t think this is a lost cause. He says, “Watch me prove you wrong,”

meaning observe me, watch as I prove you wrong. “To prove someone wrong”

means to demonstrate that the other person is incorrect – is not right aboutsomething. Yuji says, “When I tell April about all the ways I’m going to changeand to make her happy, she’ll let bygones be bygones.” So, Yuji’s plan is to tellApril, his ex-girlfriend, how he’s going to change. This, of course, is somethingthat men often promise to women: “I’ll change; I’ll be a different person; I’ll makeyou happy.” If this happens, Yuji says, if he tells her this, then April will letbygones be bygones. “To let bygones (bygones) be bygones” means to ignoreor forget about the bad things that have happened in the past, especially if theyare painful things that someone did to you. So for example, you may send apoem to your girlfriend, and your girlfriend says, “Oh, thank you for the poem.

Luis also wrote me a nice poem yesterday.” Well, that could be something thatwould be very damaging – something that would hurt you very much. It hurt me– but this is just an example, okay?

So, Yuji hopes that April will forget about the things, probably the bad things thathe did to her. Grace says, “You’re dreaming,” meaning you’re imaginingsomething that will not happen. “She won’t be duped by a bunch of emptypromises.” Grace is saying that April won’t be duped. “To dupe” (dupe) meansto fool someone, to make someone believe something that isn’t true, to tricksomeone. When we say, “I won’t be duped,” you mean I won’t let someone elsetrick me. “She won’t be duped by a bunch of empty promises.” “A bunch of”

means a lot of – many. A “promise” is when you say to someone I will do this inthe future. An “empty promise” is something you say you will do, but you aren’treally going to do it. So in this case, poor Yuji, according to Grace, isn’t going toreally do the things he says he’s going to do to change.

Yuji says, “They’re not empty promises. I’m really going to change, withinreason.” The expression “within reason” means something that isn’t very smallbut isn’t very large, with moderation, without going to extremes. You might say,for example: “I want to help my friend who doesn’t have a job. I will help himfinancially, within reason,” meaning I can’t give him 100,000 dollars; I’m going tohelp him but there is a limit to how much I can help him. That’s really themeaning here. When someone says “within reason,” often they mean there arecertain limits to what I can do. In this case, Yuji says he’s really going to change,within reason, which makes us think he really isn’t going to change very much.

“Reason,” as well as the word “cause,” which we used earlier, have additionalmeanings in English; look at our Learning Guide for more explanations.

Grace says, “Do you really think April is going to forget all of the things you’vedone to her in the past?” Yuji says, “I’m not going to rake up the past.” “To rake(rake) up the past” means to talk about things that happened previously; to makeother people remember things they might have forgotten or ignored, usually badthings that happened in the past. The verb “rake” is also used when we arecollecting leaves in the autumn – in the fall. When they fall from the tree, youwant to get them off of your lawn – off of your front yard, and so you usesomething called a rake, it’s sort of like a broom, and you rake up the leaves.

Well in this case, he’s talking about raking up the past. Taking things out of thepast – disturbing them, if you will, so the other person will remember them.

Yuji does not want to do this. He says, “I’m going to show her the new me, andshe’ll know I’m sincere.” Boy, does Yuji not understand women! “To be sincere”

(sincere) means to be honest, to be truthful, to really mean what you are sayingor doing. He thinks that he can show April the new version of him. He says,“After all, she used to be crazy about me.” “To be crazy about (someone)”

means to like or love someone very much, usually in a romantic way. You canalso be crazy about a thing. I’m crazy about baseball; I love to watch baseball.

Not as much as I love being with my wife, of course, though it’s close! Yuji says,“I’m sure it’s just a matter of me making the effort.” “It’s just a matter of” meansthe only thing I have to do is make an effort, or make the effort. “To make theeffort” means to try very hard to do something, even if you are not successful.

Grace says, “Pride comes before a fall, you know.” This is an old expression.

Pride, meaning someone who is very confident in themselves – who thinks thatthey are great, comes before, is something that happens to someone right beforethere is a fall, when they unsuccessful, when they fail. It’s basically a warning topeople who think that they are great, who are very proud of what they do that ifthey aren’t careful they will fail – they will have a fall. Grace says, “I think you’dhave a better chance if you got down on your knees and begged her for mercy!”

“To get down on your knees” means to kneel, to put both knees on the ground.

Grace is saying that Yuji should kneel and beg April for mercy. “To beg(someone) for (something)” means to ask someone to do something, especiallywhen it is unlikely that the other person will do it because the other person has allof the power. “To beg (someone)” means to ask them desperately. Well here,Grace is suggesting Yuji will have to beg April for “mercy,” which here meansforgiveness, compassion. To be nice to another person is mercy (mercy).

Sometimes when little children – boys, I mean – are fighting, and one boy, forexample grabs the arm of another boy and puts it behind his back to hurt him, theother person might say, “Mercy!” meaning be nice to me; don’t keep hurting me.

Grace thinks that April is going to have to have a lot of mercy in order to take Yujiback.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.

[start of dialogue]

Grace: What are you doing?

Yuji: I’m working on a plan to get April back.

Grace: I think that’s a lost cause. You guys broke up three months ago. There’sno way she’ll take you back.

Yuji: Watch me prove you wrong. When I tell April about all of the ways I’mgoing to change and to make her happy, she’ll let bygones be bygones.

Grace: You’re dreaming. She won’t be duped by a bunch of empty promises.

Yuji: They’re not empty promises. I really am going to change, within reason.

Grace: Do you really think April is going to forget all of the things you’ve done toher in the past?

Yuji: I’m not going to rake up the past. I’m going to show her the new me, andshe’ll know I’m sincere. After all, she used to be crazy about me. I’m sure it’sjust a matter of me making the effort.

Grace: Pride comes before a fall, you know. I think you’d have a better chance ifyou got down on your knees and begged her for mercy!

[end of dialogue]

We’re all crazy about our wonderful scriptwriter here, Dr. Lucy Tse.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Comeback and listen to us next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan, copyright 2010 by the Center for EducationalDevelopment.