英语专业晨读美文-文化篇 5 Awkward Conversations

[00:01.88]How to Have Less Awkward Conversation

[00:06.01]What is assuming rapport 1?

[00:09.70]Basically, instead of going into a conversation

[00:13.42]or meeting nervously 2 and thinking “how will this go?”

[00:16.50]you take different approach.

[00:18.54]You assume that you and the person will establish a good connection.

[00:22.78]How do you do that? You simply pretend

[00:25.40]that you are meeting one of your best friends.

[00:28.13]Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind

[00:31.23]instead of the nervous one.

[00:33.20]I have found that this advice is surprisingly useful

[00:36.13]and easy to implement 3.

[00:37.76]This also helps you and the other people to

[00:40.80]set a good frame for the interaction.

[00:42.73]A frame is always set in at the start of an interaction.

[00:46.25]It might be a nervous and stiff frame,

[00:49.06]a formal and let's-get-to-the-point kind of frame

[00:52.22]or perhaps a super relaxed one. The thing is that

[00:55.61]the frame that is set in the beginning of the conversation

[00:58.27]is often one that may stay on for a while.

[01:00.69]First impressions last.

[01:02.54]If it's a very stiff frame then it may very well continue

[01:06.53]to be so until the end. It can be quite difficult to,

[01:10.53]for instance, change that frame into a more relaxed one.

[01:14.26]Often people—you and the others—adapt to the frame

[01:18.61]that is set and interact within it.

[01:20.62]Breaking or changing that frame may feel

[01:23.35]uncomfortable or a bit weird 4. And so you and the others

[01:26.72]can become reluctant to do so and instead just play along.

[01:30.96]When you're with your friend you don't think about

[01:34.20]what you should say next or what funny comment

[01:36.93]you could pull out of your sleeve.

[01:38.19]You just stay in the present moment, moment by moment,

[01:41.34]and the conversation flows easily and naturally.

[01:44.87]I think this is what some people mean

[01:47.38]when they give the often confusing advice

[01:49.82]to “just be yourself”. When your friends give you

[01:52.90]that advice then they may mean that you should be

[01:56.14]“like you are when you are hanging out with us”.

[01:58.55]They want to see you bring out your natural

[02:01.35]and relaxed self in other interactions.

[02:03.80]One final useful thing about assuming rapport is

[02:07.65]that you may also start to feel positive feelings

[02:10.70]towards this new person, as you do with your friend

[02:13.78]when you meet him/her. This is a pretty good starting point

[02:17.31]for getting the new person to reciprocate 5

[02:20.00]and for developing a good relationship.