英语口语教程(Oral Workshop)--高级 Lesson 4
时间:2018-12-16 作者:英语课 分类:日常英语口语
Lesson 4
Does Criticism Do More Harm Than Good to People?
Text
A Yoang Woman Who Fears Compliments
Marya, a brilliant graduate student in her early twenties who came for consultation 1, insisted that she could improve only with criticism. Her reasoning was that she knew the good qualities but that she did not know the bad ones. To have more knowledge of her negative qualities, she believed,would add to her self-understanding and thus enable her to see herself more completely. Marya, in effect, refused to acknowledge and to understand her strengths. She had assembled detailed 2 lists of her negative qualities which she used daily to support an extremely negative view of herself . But they were either exaggerated or unreal.
Despite her attractiveness to others, she convinced herself that she was ugly. When her family bought her new and well-designed articles of clothing (she seldom. bought any herself ), she left them hanging in the closet for weeks before wearing them once. When someone complimented her on what she wore and asked whether it was new, she could honestly answer no. She did not "deserve" to wear new clothes. She could not bear the pain of hearing compliments, of seeing herself as intelIigent, pretty, or worthwhile.
As a child, Marya had received little or no criticism from her parents. She was prized by them. Their major disappointment in her apparently 3 was that she often rejected their overtures 4 of kindness and appreciation 5, not in anger but in embarrassment 6, as though she were undeserving. This seemingly mild-mannered young woman, exceptionally courteous 7 and considerate to others, held onto her own negative selfjudgment with tenacity 9. Finally, friends and interested faculty 10 members quit acceding 11 to her persuasive 12 requests for criticism that they could not honestly give. Instead, they gently but firmly confronted her with her own blindness to what she truly was like.
II . Read
Read the following passages. Underline the important viewpoints while reading.
l. Unfair Criticism
Stuart is a typical sixteen-year-old boy who experienced and suffered from the criticism of an alcoholic 13 parent. It seemed to 5tuart the only thing his father ever had to say to him was, "You haven't got a brain in your head. ?Stuart was a sophomore 14 in high school. It was true he was a poor student, or what his dean called an "underachiever".
Even though Stuart knew he was an underachiever, he would have liked to hear his father say, just once, something else when he brought home his report card other than his usual, "You haven't got a brain in your head."
Stuart was determined 15 to prove to his father he did have a brain in his head. Stuart studied very hard. Some nights it was difficult for him to concentrate on his homework because he could hear his parents bickering 16 in the next room.
"You forgot to pay the mortgage again. The bank is fed up."
"How many times can a person smash up a car? I , m sucprised they haven't taken your license 17 away! "
"If you wouldn't drink so much . . . "
Stuart didn't like the bickering, and wondered if his parents might separate. He wondered, too, because his father was so forgetful about paying the bills, if they might lose their home.
He kept telling himself that if he studied hard, maybe, by some miracle, things would get better at home.
Stuart's determination to concentrate on his school work, in spite of the bickering and worries at home, paid off. His next report card showed a marked improvement. There was even a personal note of praise from his dean written on the report card.
Proudly Stuart put the report card on his father's desk. Stuart felt happier than he had felt in a long time. He knew that his father could only be pleased with such a report, but more important, maybe now his father would realize that he was intelligent and would start paying some attention to him.
Stuart could remember when his father used to go to ballgames and movies with him. Who knew? Maybe things would go back to the way they used to be. Stuart would offer to get a part-time job to help pay off some of the bills. He thought that might lessen 18 some of the arguing at home and keep the family from breaking up. He would lat his father know that he was old enough to understand things weren't always easy at the office.
When Stuart's father came home and saw the report, he said without any hesitation 19, "Well, well, who did the work for you? I know you don't have the brains to do it! "
Stuart was stunned 20. All that work for nothing! He wouldn't be surprised if his father not only thought he was stupid but hated him, too.
Stuart would not have been as hurt if he had only known his father was tied up in his own miserable 21 feelings. This kept him from recognizing what Stuart had accomplished 22 in school.
2. Uses of Criticism
While some of us have a tendency to disbelieve or to minimize the good things people say about us, others among us have a tendency to hold a protective web around ourselves in defense 23 against criticism. One workshop participant said, "I confuse the issue by getting logical in the face of threatening reactions. Sometimes I act helpless so others will stop the criticism. ?Early in the workshop experience he had received more negative than positive reactions. While he was fearful of criticism, he found that he had courted it, hoping that he could learn how to handle it and overcome his fear.
We may court negative reactions for other reasons. A therapy group member regarded criticism as more useful than compliments, and criticism is what he often got-not because he asked for it directly, but because of his detached manner, as though he were sitting in judgment 8 of others. Moreover, his tendency to qualify and hedge his opinions and feelings until they had no meaning often brought down the ire of others upon him. He gave the impression of accepting their displeasure stoically, as though it strengthened him. He never openly criticized other members, however.
Still another member, who claimed that"criticism is the stuff that we grow on? gave others criticism galore so they could improve and, in his words, "not appear in a negative light in the future." This member came across as using his ostensible 24 concern for the growth of others as an excuse to criticize and attack them.
3. Is It Right to Withhold 25 One's Reactions to Others?
It is not uncommon 26 for us to withhold our reactions to others. We may hold back compliments for fear of embarrassment to them and to ourselves. We may hold back criticism for fear of being disliked or considered unfair, or for fear of hurting another person. Reactions given inconsiderately may indeed hurt others. On the other hand, some of us are inclined to withhold our reactions from others while at the same time we honestly prefer that they not hold back theirs from us.
We may have two different rules. The first one may be: If we ask others for candid 27 reactions to our behavior, to something we have done or plan to do, we want them to tell us straight, including the negative with the positive. The second rule may be: If someone else asks us for similar reactions, we are inclined to hold back or gloss 28 over the negative and embroider 29 the positive.
4. Criticism Is a Kind of Demand on Those Criticized
As children, many of us got a great deal of criticism and, as a result, learned a variety of patterns for coping with it. Marya had apparently received little criticism, but, knowing that she was not perfect and deserved what other children got, developed her own patterns of selfjudgment and censure 30. Being judged, whether we are underestimated or overestimated 31, usually implies a demand, subtle or direct, that we change. If others do not demand change, we may feel the need to demand it of ourselves.
Reactions that are relatively 32 free from attempts to change or discredit 33 us, given by someone who cares for us, and with the intention of letting us know what impressions we are making, may be easier to take. If, however, our usual reaction is to defend ourselves, even mild criticism or impressions given gently without demands that we change may play havoc 34 with our defensive 35 structure and beccnne difficult to handle.
5. How to Handle Criticism
The surgeon reached over and jerked the syringe out of the nurse,s hand. "Jane, that's the sloppiest 36 injection I've ever seen!" he snapped. Quickly, his fingers found the vein 37 she had been searching for. Cheeks burning, Jane turned away. ~Ten years later, Jane's voice still trembles when she relates the experience.
Some of our male co-workers have it easier. They grew up encouraged
to play team sports, and they had to handle a coach's yells when they droppped the ball. Now they can see that a goof 38 on the job is like dropping the ball in football; the fumble 39 is embarrassing, but you take it in stride and go on.
But for most women, the path to success was different. As girls, we grew up wanting to be popular; we were praised for what we were, not for what we did. So our reaction to criticism is often, "Someone doesn't like me. I failed to please. I'm a failure."
"I get defensive," says Rhonda, a teacher, "When someone criticizes me, suddenly I'm a little girl again, being scolded, and I want to make excuses. I want to explain that it's not my fault-it's someone else's, or I want to hide and cry."
6. Take a Tactful Approach
How about giving criticism? The old "I-want-to-be-liked" syndrome 40 can make it as hard to give criticism as to take it. Karen thinks she's found the answer.
"Two weeks after I was promoted to first-line supervisor," she remembers, "I had to tell a friend that she was in trouble for not turning in her weekly reports on time. My boss suggested that I tell Judy I didn't want to fix the blame-I just wanted to fix the problem. That was wonderful advice. It allowed me to state the problem objectively to Judy and she olfered the solution."
Criticism in the workplace, whether you're giving it or getting it, is always more effective when you focus on the task rather than on the person. Fixing the problem, not thc?blame, means that nobody has to feel chewed out or chewed up. We can still feel whole and learn something in the process.
- The company has promised wide consultation on its expansion plans.该公司允诺就其扩展计划广泛征求意见。
- The scheme was developed in close consultation with the local community.该计划是在同当地社区密切磋商中逐渐形成的。
- He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
- A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。
- An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽,豁然开朗。
- He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
- Their government is making overtures for peace. 他们的政府正在提出和平建议。 来自《简明英汉词典》
- He had lately begun to make clumsy yet endearing overtures of friendship. 最近他开始主动表示友好,样子笨拙却又招人喜爱。 来自辞典例句
- I would like to express my appreciation and thanks to you all.我想对你们所有人表达我的感激和谢意。
- I'll be sending them a donation in appreciation of their help.我将送给他们一笔捐款以感谢他们的帮助。
- She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
- Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。
- Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一,但她总是很谦恭有礼。
- He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善,而且彬彬有礼。
- The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
- He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。
- Tenacity is the bridge to success.坚韧是通向成功的桥。
- The athletes displayed great tenacity throughout the contest.运动员在比赛中表现出坚韧的斗志。
- He has a great faculty for learning foreign languages.他有学习外语的天赋。
- He has the faculty of saying the right thing at the right time.他有在恰当的时候说恰当的话的才智。
- After all, political careers depend acceding tothe demands the central government. 毕竟政治事业是要满足中央政府的要求的。 来自互联网
- Shall you have any problem acceding the folders, please let me knows. 如果存取文件有任何问题请和我联系。 来自互联网
- His arguments in favour of a new school are very persuasive.他赞成办一座新学校的理由很有说服力。
- The evidence was not really persuasive enough.证据并不是太有说服力。
- The alcoholic strength of brandy far exceeds that of wine.白兰地的酒精浓度远远超过葡萄酒。
- Alcoholic drinks act as a poison to a child.酒精饮料对小孩犹如毒药。
- He is in his sophomore year.他在读二年级。
- I'm a college sophomore majoring in English.我是一名英语专业的大二学生。
- I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
- He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
- The children are always bickering about something or other. 孩子们有事没事总是在争吵。
- The two children were always bickering with each other over small matters. 这两个孩子总是为些小事斗嘴。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
- The foreign guest has a license on the person.这个外国客人随身携带执照。
- The driver was arrested for having false license plates on his car.司机由于使用假车牌而被捕。
- Regular exercise can help to lessen the pain.经常运动有助于减轻痛感。
- They've made great effort to lessen the noise of planes.他们尽力减小飞机的噪音。
- After a long hesitation, he told the truth at last.踌躇了半天,他终于直说了。
- There was a certain hesitation in her manner.她的态度有些犹豫不决。
- It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
- Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
- Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
- Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。
- The accused has the right to defense.被告人有权获得辩护。
- The war has impacted the area with military and defense workers.战争使那个地区挤满了军队和防御工程人员。
- The ostensible reason wasn't the real reason.表面上的理由并不是真正的理由。
- He resigned secretaryship on the ostensible ground of health.他借口身体不好,辞去书记的职务。
- It was unscrupulous of their lawyer to withhold evidence.他们的律师隐瞒证据是不道德的。
- I couldn't withhold giving some loose to my indignation.我忍不住要发泄一点我的愤怒。
- Such attitudes were not at all uncommon thirty years ago.这些看法在30年前很常见。
- Phil has uncommon intelligence.菲尔智力超群。
- I cannot but hope the candid reader will give some allowance for it.我只有希望公正的读者多少包涵一些。
- He is quite candid with his friends.他对朋友相当坦诚。
- John tried in vain to gloss over his faults.约翰极力想掩饰自己的缺点,但是没有用。
- She rubbed up the silver plates to a high gloss.她把银盘擦得很亮。
- The editor would take a theme and embroider upon it with drollery.编辑会将一篇文章,以调侃式的幽默笔调加以渲染。
- She wants to embroider a coverlet with flowers and birds.她想给床罩绣上花鸟。
- You must not censure him until you know the whole story.在弄清全部事实真相前不要谴责他。
- His dishonest behaviour came under severe censure.他的不诚实行为受到了严厉指责。
- They overestimated his ability when they promoted him. 他们提拔他的时候高估了他的能力。
- The Ministry of Finance consistently overestimated its budget deficits. 财政部一贯高估预算赤字。
- The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
- The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。
- Their behaviour has bought discredit on English football.他们的行为败坏了英国足球运动的声誉。
- They no longer try to discredit the technology itself.他们不再试图怀疑这种技术本身。
- The earthquake wreaked havoc on the city.地震对这个城市造成了大破坏。
- This concentration of airborne firepower wrought havoc with the enemy forces.这次机载火力的集中攻击给敌军造成很大破坏。
- Their questions about the money put her on the defensive.他们问到钱的问题,使她警觉起来。
- The Government hastily organized defensive measures against the raids.政府急忙布置了防卫措施抵御空袭。
- The girl is not in the vein for singing today.那女孩今天没有心情唱歌。
- The doctor injects glucose into the patient's vein.医生把葡萄糖注射入病人的静脉。
- We goofed last week at the end of our interview with singer Annie Ross.上周我们采访歌手安妮·罗斯,结果到快结束时犯了个愚蠢的错误。
- You will never be good students so long as you goof around.如果你们成天游手好闲,就永远也成不了好学生。