Shaggy Teaches You to Introduce Yourself

Shaggy Teaches You to Introduce Yourself

My name is Shaggy. Aahh, not to be confused with Shaggy from 1)Austin Powers. This is Shaggy, 2)shagadelic shaggy, 3)shagalistic shaggy, 4)shagnotic, Mr. 5)Lova shaggy.

My age right now... I'm... 30, 31, something like that.

My first 6)crush... Let me see what my first crush is. Umm ... can not remember if I had a crush. Ahh, I would say it was... this girl... it was in my, my fourth grade class.  That's way back, too, boy. My memory doesn't serve me that well. My first, now it was a young lady... that I, I was totally in love with and the only thing I had of her was a poster that I tore out of a magazine and put on my wall. And I, like a 7)pervert 1, kissed the photograph all the time. That'd be my first one.

My last love was a couple months ago. I can't say who, but that would be cool. 

When did I first fall in love? I don't know if I was ever in love (small laugh). That's sad! But I think if it's that little tingly feeling that makes you want to see the person all the time, and that's love. Umm, I would say that was when I was about ... Oooooo... 20, 22... around there.

The most romantic thing I've ever done now, let me see... would be renting a hotel in Manhattan... the Waldorf-Astoria-posh Hotel-- getting a suite 2 that overlooked 3 the park, going on a little horse-and-buggy ride, get to the hotel room, have dinner first, do the horse- and-buggy ride, to the Comedy Store, have a laugh, leave, get back to the hotel room, and walk in to the suite -- it was all candles, and rose petals 4 everywhere -- and just... be so energetic that the windows would fog up. 

The worst thing I've ever done to a girlfriend, umm... and I did this in pure fun, was give her a 8)weggie, 'cause I've always seen it done and I've, I've never done it, so just one of the things I just have to do. She wasn't amused anyway, but you know, it was funny (laugh).

I haven't 9)snoged anyone fame... well, I have snoged some... someone famous, well, a couple of people that were famous, but I can't call their name because they might be watching and, I don't kiss-and-tell. Who famous that I like just now? All right... (sigh, smack 5 lips)... I done her. What's her name? Did her too? So... Halley, Halley Berry would be the person I'd like to snog, and I don't have much time because she's almost married. (smack lips) So look out, girl, when you see me running up to you with lips, you know what's up! (loud laugh) 

Shaggy教你自我介绍

我叫Shaggy，不是《王牌大贱谍》里的Shaggy，而是令人神魂颠倒的Shaggy，超凡脱俗的Shaggy，迷迷糊糊的Shaggy，小可爱Shaggy。

我的年龄嘛，算起来有三十一、二岁的样子。

我的初恋嘛……让我好好想想初恋。唔……想不起来我到底有没有初恋了。哎，想起来了……那个女孩是我四年级的同学，哦，那都是很久以前的事了。我记忆力不灵光了。我的初恋情人现在已经是个大姑娘了，那时我死心塌地迷恋她，我只有她的一张海报，是从一本杂志里撕下来的，我把它贴到了墙上。我就像发了神经，整天亲吻着那张玉照。那就是我的初恋了。

最新一次恋情就发生在头几个月前。我不能讲她是谁，但这才叫酷呢。

我第一次真正恋爱是什么时候？哦，我还真不知道自己有没有真地爱过（轻笑），可悲呀！不过我想，如果有种痒痒的感觉让你觉得老是想到那个人，那就是爱吧。唔，那么说来是在我大约20、22岁的时候了。

我曾经做过的最浪漫的事是，让我想想……是在曼哈顿租了一间旅馆，叫Waldorf Astoria Posh旅馆，从套房里可以远眺公园，乘马车进出旅馆房间，首先美餐一顿，然后乘马车去喜剧商店找乐子，离开，然后再回到旅馆房间，我走进房间时发现四周都是蜡烛，到处都是玫瑰花瓣--真是情调盎然，连窗户都有雾气笼罩。

我对女朋友做过的大坏事嘛……我做得很高兴，从她背后把她拎了起来，因为我常看到其他人这么做，而我从未做过，所以这属于我的必修科目。她并不感到有趣，但这确实可笑（笑）。

我可没有拥吻过名人……这个，是有拥吻过……某名人，啊，好几位名人呢，但我不能说出她们的名字，因为她们也许正看着我，我才不会吻了就到处说呢。我现在喜欢哪个名人？唉……（叹气，砸砸嘴）……我和她发生了关系。她叫什么名字？她也喜欢我吗？这么说吧，我想拥吻哈莉·贝利，但是我的时间不多了，因为她快要出嫁了。（砸砸嘴）所以说，女孩子要小心了，当你看见我嘟着嘴朝你跑来的话，你要知道后果！（大笑）

注释：

1) Austin Powers 影片《王牌大贱谍》。在这里指的是Austin Powers - the Spy who Shagged Me《王牌大贱谍2：时空间谍007》。

2) shagadelic 此词是由Shaggy与psychedelic ( [7saiki5delik] a. 起幻觉的，迷幻的) 结合而来的，并没有什么实际意义，只是用来起夸张与炫耀的作用。以下两词用法相同。

3) shagalistic 此词是由Shaggy与fantastic ( [fAn5tAstik] a. 幻想的，空想的) 结合而来。

4) shagnotic 此词是由Shaggy与hypnotic ( [hip5nCtik] a. 催眠的) 结合而来。

5) Lova = lover

6) crush [krQF] n. （对某人的）强烈而短暂的喜爱，迷恋

7) pervert [pE(:)5vE:t] n. 走上邪路者，堕落者

8) weggie [俚] 是一种恶作剧，在某人的背后提他的裤带把他拎起来

9) snog [snR^] v. 亲吻拥抱