见信如晤Letters Live 第4期:'卷福'读信:索尔·勒维特写给伊娃·海瑟的回信

 　　Dear Eva, It will be almost a month since you wrote to me and you have possibly forgotten your state of mind (I doubt it though) .

　　亲爱的伊娃，距你给我写的上封信快有一个月了，你可能已经忘记了你当时的心态（虽然我不这么觉得）。
　　You seem the same as always, and being you, hate every minute of it.
　　你似乎一如往常，憎恨作为你自己的每一分钟。
　　Don't!
　　不要这样！
　　Learn to say "Fuck You" to the world every once in a while. You have every right to.
　　学会偶尔对这个世界说“去他妈的”。你有权这么做。
　　Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping, confusing, itching 1, scratching, mumbling 2, bumbling, grumbling 3, humbling 5, stumbling, rumbling 4, rambling 6, numbling, gambling 7, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling 8, hitching 9, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning 10, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose-sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back scratching, searching, perching, besmirching 11, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO.
　　停止思考，担心，多虑，徘徊，怀疑，恐惧，受伤，期盼有简单的出路，挣扎，固守，困惑，瘙痒，抓挠，自言自语，装模作样，愤愤不平，自卑自贱，磕磕绊绊，喃喃自语，东拉西扯，钻营投机，满口应声，淡淡涂抹，仓促完成，搭便车，画影线，发牢骚，抱怨，呻吟，嚎叫，挑刺，满口胡言，吹毛求疵，鸡蛋挑骨，迁怒于人，自作多情，漫天要价，夺人眼球，转嫁责任，偷偷摸摸，漫长等待，亦步亦趋，诅咒仇视，虎视眈眈，结党营私，搜索，停留，糟蹋，消磨，消磨，消磨殆尽你自己。停止这样，放手去做！
　　From your description, and from what I know of your previous work and you ability; the work you are doing sounds very good.
　　从你的描述，以及从我对你之前作品和你能力的了解，你正在创作的作品听上去非常不错。
　　"Drawing-clean-clear but crazy like machines, larger and bolder…real nonsense." That sounds fine, wonderful-real nonsense.
　　“绘画干净清晰，但又疯狂如机器，更宏大也更胆大……真正的无意义。”真正的无意义——那听上去不错，很精彩。
　　Do more, more nonsensical, more crazy, more machines, more breasts, penises, cunts, whatever-make them abound 12 with nonsense.
　　做更多，更多无含义式的，更多疯狂的，更多机器，更多乳房，阳具，阴部，不管是什么——围绕着无意义去创作它们。
　　Try and tickle 13 something inside you, your "weird 14 humor."
　　试着搔触到那些你内心深处的东西，你“诡异的幽默”。
　　You belong in the most secret part of you.
　　你属于你最隐秘的一部分。
　　Don't worry about cool, make your own uncool.
　　不要担心酷或不酷，创作你自己的不酷。
　　Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you-draw & paint your fear and anxiety.
　　创造你自己的，你自己的世界。如果你恐惧，那就让它为你服务——描绘出你的恐惧和担忧。
　　And stop worrying about big, deep things such as "to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistent approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end".
　　而且不要担心宏大，深刻的事情，例如“去决定生活的目的和方式，以连贯的方式去抵达甚至不可能抵达的终点，或是某种想象中的终点。”
　　You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty.
　　你必须尝试变得愚蠢，装聋作哑，不假思索，彻底放空。
　　Then you will be able to DO.
　　然后你才可能“做”！
　　I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting 15 yourself, the work you do is very good.
　　我对你非常有信心，即使你在折磨着自己，你的作品却非常出色。
　　Try to do some BAD work.
　　试着去做一些差的作品。
　　The worst you can think of and see what happens, but mainly relax and let everything go to hell.
　　你能想到最差的，然后看看会发生什么，但最重要的是放松且让一切都去见鬼吧。
　　You are not responsible for the world-you are only responsible for your work-so DO IT.
　　你不用对这个世界负责任——你只用对你自己的作品负责任——所以去做吧。
　　And don't think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be.
　　另外，不用去想你的作品是否要遵从任何先入为主的形式，概念或风格。它可以成为任何你想要它成为的样子。
　　But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working-then stop. Don't punish yourself.
　　但如果停止创作，生活对你而言会更容易——那就停下来。不要惩罚自己。
　　However, I think that it is so deeply engrained in you that it would be better for you to DO.
　　然而，我觉得只有深刻地根植于你，才会更容易去做。
　　It seems I do understand your attitude somewhat, anyway, because I go through a similar process every now and again myself.
　　似乎我在某种程度上的确能理解你的态度，不管怎样，因为每隔一段时间我会经历类似的过程。
　　I have an "Agonizing 16 Reappraisal" of my work and change everything as much as possible-and hate everything I've done, and try to do something entirely 17 different and better.
　　我对我自己作品有一个“极为痛苦的再评价”，我尽可能地改变之前的一切，而且我讨厌我曾做过的一切，而试着创作一些完全不同并且更好的作品。
　　Maybe that kind of process is necessary to me, pushing me on and on.
　　也许这种过程对我而言是必须的，推着我一步步前进。
　　The feeling that I can do better than that shit I just did.
　　我有种感觉，我能做出比起我刚做的垃圾货更好的东西。
　　Maybe you need your agony to accomplish what you do. And maybe it goads 18 you on to do better.
　　也许你需要让你的痛苦帮你完成你在做的事情。或许它可以激励你做得更好。
　　But it is very painful I know.
　　但我知道这非常痛苦。
　　It would be better if you had the confidence just to do the stuff and not even think about it.
　　如果你有信心放手去做事情而不去琢磨它那会更好。
　　Can't you leave the "world" and "ART" alone and also quit fondling your ego 19.
　　你不能离开“世界”和“艺术”，同样不能放弃疼惜自我。
　　I know that you (or anyone) can only work so much and the rest of the time you are left with your thoughts.
　　我知道你（或任何人）只能工作那么久，而剩下的时间你要留给你的思想。
　　But when you work or before your work you have to empty you mind and concentrate on what you are doing.
　　但当你在工作时或是在工作之前，你要清空你的脑袋而专注于你正在做的事情。
　　After you do something it is done and that’s that.
　　在你完成一些事情之后就是完成了。
　　After a while you can see some are better than others but also you can see what direction you are going.
　　过一阵子你可以看出来哪些比其它更好，同样你可以看出来你的方向是什么。
　　I'm sure you know all that.
　　我确定这一切你都了解。
　　You also must know that you don't have to justify 20 your work -not even to yourself.
　　你还必须要知道你不需要为你的作品辩解——即使对你自己也不需要。
　　Well, you know I admire your work greatly and can't understand why you are so bothered by it.
　　好吧，你知道的，我非常欣赏你的作品，而且不能理解你为什么会对它如此困扰。
　　But you can see the next ones and I can't.
　　但是你可以看到以后的作品而我看不到。
　　You also must believe in your ability. I think you do.
　　你也必须要相信你的能力。我知道你相信。
　　So try the most outrageous 21 things you can - shock yourself.
　　所以尝试一些你能做到最离谱的事情——让你自己也感到震惊的。
　　You have at your power the ability to do anything.
　　你有可以做一切事情的能力。
　　I would like to see your work and will have to be content to wait until Aug or Sept.
　　我想要看到你的作品，但又必须安于等待直到八月或九月。
　　I have seen photos of some of Tom’s new things at Lucy's.
　　我在露西那里看到了一些汤姆新作的照片。
　　They are impressive -especially the ones with the more rigorous form: the simpler ones.
　　它们令我印象深刻——特别是那些具有更加严格形式的作品：更简练的作品。
　　I guess he'll send some more later on.
　　我猜他之后会寄来更多信息。
　　Let me know how the shows are going and that kind of stuff.
　　让我知道展览的情况以及其它信息。
　　My work had changed since you left and it is much better.
　　自从你走了之后我的作品发生了改变，现在好多了。
　　I will be having a show May 4-29 at the Daniels Gallery 17 E 64th St (where Emmerich was) , I wish you could be there.
　　我5月4-29号将会有一个展览，在Daniels Gallery，西64街17号（之前Emmerich那儿），我希望你们能去。
　　Much love to you both. Sol
　　非常爱你们俩。索尔