欧美人文风情第76篇:同理心的力量

 So what is empathy? And why is it very different than sympathy? 什么是同理心？为什么它和同情心那么不同？

Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection. 同理心激发连结。同情心促使失连。
Empathy is very interesting. 同理心是非常有趣的。
Teresa Wiseman is a nursing scholar, who studied professions—very diverse professions where empathy is relevant, Teresa Wiseman是名护理学者，她研究职业－－与同理心相关、非常不同的职业，
and came up with four qualities of empathy: Perspective taking (the ability to take the perspective of another person, 并提出四种同理心的特性：接受观点(接受他人观点的能力，
or recognize their perspectives as their truth), staying out of judgment 1 (not easy when you enjoy this as much as most of us do), 或是认同他们的观点为他们的事实)、不加评论(这不容易，当你跟我们大多数人一样喜欢评论他人时)、
recognizing emotion of another people, and then communicating that. 看出他人的情绪、并接着与那交流。
Empathy is feeling with people. And to me, I always think of empathy as this kind of sacred space when someone's kind of in a deep hole, 同理心是与人一起感受。对我而言，我总是把同理心想成这种神圣的空间，
and they shout out from the bottom and they say, "I'm stuck. It's dark. I'm overwhelmed." 当某人好像在一个深穴里，而他们从底部大叫，他们说：“我被困住了。这里好黑。我受不了了。”
And then we look and we say, "Hey," and climb down, 然后我们看看，我们说：“嘿”，然后爬下去说：
"I know what it's like down here, and you're not alone." “我知道在这下面是什么样子，你并不孤单。”
Sympathy is, "Woo! It's bad, ahuh? Now, you want a sandwich?" 同情心是：“哇!真糟糕啊，对吧？现在，你想要个三明治吗？”
Empathy is a choice. And it's a vulnerable choice because in order to connect with you, 同理心是种选择。那是种很容易受到伤害的选择，因为为了要能与你连结，
I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling. 我必须连结到我自己心里能了解那感受的东西。
Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with "at least." 一个同理心的回应极少(如果真的有的话)以“至少...”来开头。
I had a...yeah, and we do it all the time, because, you know what, someone just shares something with us that's incredibly painful, 我有个...对，而我们总是在做这事，因为，你知道吗，某人刚与我们分享一些极为痛苦的事，
and we're trying to silver lining 2 that. I don't think that's a verb, but I'm using it as one. 而我们试着要“一线希望”它。我不认为那是个动词，但我要把它当动词用。
We're trying to put this silver lining around it, so "I had a miscarriage 3." 我们试着要挤出一线希望，所以当人说：“我流产了。”
"At least, you know you can get pregnant." “至少你知道你能怀孕。”
"I think my marriage is falling apart." “我觉得我的婚姻正在破碎。”
"At least, you have a marriage." “至少你有段婚姻。”
"John's getting kicked out of school." “John要被学校退学了。”
"At least, Sarah, he's an A-student." “至少，Sarah，他是个优等学生。”
But one of the things we do sometimes in the face of very difficult conversations is we try to make things better. 但我们在面对非常难受的对话时，其中我们有时会做的一件事，是我们试着要让事情好转一点。
If I share something with you that's very difficult, I'd rather you say, 如果我跟你分享某件非常难过的事，我宁愿你说：
"I don't even know what to say right now. I'm just so glad you told me," “我现在甚至不知该说什么好。我只是很开心你肯跟我说。”
because the truth is rarely can a response make something better. 因为事实是，回应很少会让事情好转。
What makes something better is connection. 能让事情好转的是连结。