欧美人文风情第353篇:快乐方程式

 You know, everybody wants to be happy. So, why isn't everybody happy? 大家都想要幸福快乐。那么，为什么不是每个人都过得幸福快乐呢？

The obvious answer is it's not easy. 答案显然是这并不容易。
And one of the single biggest obstacles to being happy is that people naturally compare themselves to other people 而快乐的其中一个最大阻碍就是人们本能地和他人比较，
and assume nearly all of them are happier than they are. 而且还认定几乎所有人都比自己幸福。
This is a big problem. So, how would you like an equation to determine the exact amount of unhappiness in your life? 这是个大问题。那么，你想要一个判定你人生中确切不幸值的方程式吗？
Well, I am here to tell you that I have developed an equation. 嗯，我在此告诉你们大家，我发明了一个方程式，
It is U=I-R. U is "unhappiness," I is "image," and R is "reality." 它是U=I-R。U代表“不幸”、I是“想象画面”，R则是“现实”。
The difference between the images you have had for your life and the reality of your life is the amount of unhappiness in your life,  你对人生的想象与现实生活之间的差异即为你人生的不幸值，
which gives you an idea of how powerful images are in hurting us. 这会让你了解想象画面对我们的伤害有多大。
It's inevitable 1. Everybody has an image. 这无可避免。人人都有画面。
As you grow up, you imagine what life will be when you get older. 在你成长的过程中，你想象自己大一点时的生活会是什么样子。我
I had very, very powerful images—if I may be personal—and it'll help here to be personal because I have gone through this. 就有极为强烈的画面－－容我讲点私事－－在这里牵扯到我个人会有所帮助，因为我有过经验。
I imagined that I would be happily married, never divorced, 我想象自己婚姻美满、不可能离婚、
have four perfect children sitting around the table discussing politics and theology...every meal. 有四个完美的孩子围着餐桌讨论政治和神学...每一餐都这样。
Well, it didn't quite turn out that way. I was divorced. I was divorced with a child. 这个嘛，结局并不是那回事。我离婚了，我带了个孩子离婚。
And my kids didn't always want to talk about theology and politics. 而我的小孩不总想讨论神学和政治。
Sometimes they didn't want to talk at all. 有时候他们根本不想开口说话。
Sometimes they wanted to talk about sports or about music that I couldn't stand. 有时候他们又想聊体育或我听不下去的音乐。
Now, I had to realize very early in my life 现在，我在人生早期就得明白，
that I would either have to abandon my image or I would be miserable 2 the rest of my life.  我要不必须抛开我的想象，要不接下来的人生都过得悲惨无比。
And this is true for just about everybody— 几乎所有人都是如此－－
very few people live out the image that they had assumed their life would follow and become. 极少人实现心中原有的人生蓝图和样貌。
That's what the middle-life crisis in so many people is about, whether it is male or female. 这就是许多人有中年危机的原因，无论是男女。
Especially for men, they reach 35, 45, 55, and then they think, Wait a minute! 特别是男性，他们到了三十五、四十五、五十五岁，接着会想，等等！
I'm not nearly what I had assumed I would be in terms of accomplishment 3 and achievement. 我的事业成就远远不及我原本以为的那样。
I thought I would be the CEO; I thought I would be a president; I thought I'd be the President of the United States! 我以为我会当上执行长；我以为我会成为董事长；我以为我会成为美国总统！
I thought I would be earning this amount of money; 我以为我会赚这么多钱；
I thought I would be one of the most respected members of my community. 我以为我会是社区内最受景仰的成员之一。
And then I would say every man ultimately fails the image that he has had for himself. 然后我会说，每个男人最终都会辜负他对自己的期望。
That's the biggest part of what mid-life crisis is about. 那就是中年危机最大的因素。
Images kill people. Think of anorexia 4: 想象画面害人不浅。想想厌食症：
Some teenage girls and young women have an image of how they want to look, 一些青少女和年轻女性对自己想象的外貌有个想象，
and in some cases, they will starve themselves to meet that image. 然后在某些案例中，她们会让自己挨饿好符合心中的那个样子。
This is true for whatever images we have in our life—people imagine family life a certain way; 不管我们生活中有什么想象都是一样的－－人们想象家庭生活是某个样子；
they imagine a spouse 5 a certain way; they imagine their children a certain way; 他们想象另一半是某个样子；他们想象自己的孩子是某个样子；
they imagine their job a certain way...they imagine a whole host of things. 他们想象自己的工作是某个样子...他们对一堆事情都抱有想象。
And then those images are very often shattered. 然后那些画面时常会幻灭。
So, what do you do about it? Well, there are two things. 那你要怎么办呢？嗯，有两件事。
One, either develop a new image and enjoy that or just celebrate the reality that you now have. 一，要不创造出一个全新的画面然后好好享受，就是颂扬当下所拥有的现实。
Maybe the reality you now have is pretty darn good. 或许你现在拥有的现实还满不赖的。
You don't need an image to ruin it, because I promise you that that's exactly what the image will do. 你不需要有个想象画面来毁了它，因为我向你保证，那正是想象画面会带来的效果。
And that is why U=I-R.Unhappiness=Image-Reality. 而那就是为什么 U=I-R。不幸=想象画面-现实。
I'm Dennis Prager. 我是丹尼斯·普拉格。