欧美人文风情第71篇:我们为何孤单?

 A simple fact: monkeys that are known to have a developed social life, organize in small groups with several dozen members. 一个简单的事实：据悉有发达社交生活的猴子们，由几十个成员的小团体组织起来。

The size of each of these groups is limited. 这些团体个别的大小是有限的。
In order for them to function, all members of the group need to know each other well. 为了要让它们运作，所有团体成员需要深入了解彼此。
The average size of the group changes from 20 to 50 members. 团体平均大小从二十到五十个成员之间不等。
When the number of monkeys in a group passes certain threshold, the social order crumbles 1, 当团体里的猴子数量超过特定门槛，社交秩序就会解体，
and the group tends to split into two separate groups. 该团体倾向会分裂成两个分开的团体。
A similar situation can be found amongst humans as well. 相似的情况也可以在人类之中发现。
The invention of language and gossip has helped shape larger and more stable groups. 语言和流言蜚语的发明帮助形塑了更大且更稳固的团体。
Sociological research indicates that the maximum natural size of a group of humans is roughly 150 members. 社会学研究指出，人类团体的最大自然规模是约莫150个成员。
Most humans are just incapable 2 of intimately knowing more than 150 people. 大部分的人就是无法亲密地了解超过150个人。
So even today, the threshold of a human organization is around the number of 150 members. 所以即使是今天，人类组织的门槛大约是150个成员。
Man is a social creature, and the feeling of loneliness can drive them mad. 人类是种群居生物，而孤单的感受可以让他们发疯。
Yet the western and modern world sanctions individuality. 然而西方和现代世界鼓励个体状态。
The individual is measured by personal achievements, 每个个体是由个人成就衡量的，
such as having a career, wealth, a self-image, and consumerism. 像是有份工作、财富、自我形象、和消费主义。
In this course of action, many people lose their social and familial connections in favor of self-actualization ideal. 在这个行动的过程中，许多人为了支持自我实现的理想，失去了他们社交及家庭的连结。
As a social fabric 3 in the western world weakens, it is not surprising that more and more people define themselves as lonely. 当西方世界中的社交结构弱化，越来越多人会将自己定义成孤单并不令人讶异。
And thus, loneliness has become the most common ailment 4 of the modern world. 因此，孤单已成了现代社会中最普遍的疾病。
One of the possible reasons for this ailment is the online social network. 这种疾病其中一个可能的原因是线上社交网络。
In a world where time is money, in which our surroundings heavily pressure us to achieve more and more, 在一个时间就是金钱的世界里，在其中我们的环境用力迫使我们去成就更多更多，
our social life becomes tainted 5 and more demanding than ever before. 我们的社交生活变得堕落，且比以往更加苛求。
And then there's technology: simpler, hopeful, optimistic, ever young. 然后出现了科技：更简单、有希望、乐观、非常年轻。
We become addicted 6 to virtual romance, 我们变得沉迷于虚拟恋情，
disguised by the social network which supplies an impressive platform that allows us to manage our social life most effectively. 被社交网络所掩饰，那社交网络提供一个让我们最有效地管理社交生活的超棒平台。
However, our fantasies about substitutions are starting to take a toll 7. 然而，我们对于替代品的幻想开始造成伤害。
We're collecting friends like stamps, not distinguishing quantity from quality, 我们像集邮一样收集朋友，不去分辨量与质，
and converting the deep meaning and intimacy 8 of friendship with exchanging in photos and chat conversations. 并将友谊深入的意义和亲密度转变成交换照片和网路聊天对话。
By doing so, we're sacrificing conversation for mere 9 connection. 借由这么做，我们牺牲掉了对话，换来的只不过是连结。
And so a paradoxical situation is created, in which we claim to have many friends while actually being lonely. 所以一个矛盾的情形产生了，这种情况下我们宣称有很多朋友，然而实际上却是孤单的。
So what is the problem in having a conversation? 所以进行对话有什么困难？
Well, it takes place in real time, and you can't control what you're gonna say. 嗯，它即时发生，且你无法掌控你将要说些什么。
And that is the bottom line. 那就是最重要的。
Texting, email, posting, all of these things let us present the self as we want it to be. 简讯、电子邮件、贴文、所有这些事让我们表现出我们想要成为的自己。
We get to edit, and that means we get to delete. 我们得以编辑，那表示我们得以删除。
Instead of building true friendships, we're obsessed 10 with endless personal promotion 11: 我们没有建立真正的友谊，而是着迷于无止尽的个人行销：
investing hours on-net, building our profile, pursuing the optimal 12 order of words in our next message, 花数小时在线上、建立我们的个人档案、在我们下一个讯息中追求完美的文字排序、
choosing the pictures in which we look our best, 选出我们看起来最美的照片，
all of which is meant to serve as the desirable image of who we are. 所有这些都是为了当作我们自己最满意的形象。
We're expecting more from technology and less from each other. 我们期望从科技得到更多、从彼此得到更少。
The social networks aren't just changing what we're doing but also who we are, 社交网络不只改变我们正在做的事，也改变我们的人，
and that's because technology appeals to us most where we're most vulnerable. 那是因为科技在我们最脆弱的时候最吸引我们。
And we are vulnerable, we are lonely, but we are afraid of intimacy, 而且我们很脆弱、我们很孤单，但我们害怕亲密，
while the social networks offer us three gratifying fantasies: 然而社交网络提供我们三个令人满意的幻想：
One, that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be. 一，我们可将注意力放在任何我们想要的地方。
Two, that we'll always be heard. 二、我们永远会被倾听。
And three, that we will never have to be alone. 还有三，我们永远不必孤单。
And that third idea—that we will never have to be alone—is central to changing our psyches 13. 而那第三个概念－－我们永远不必孤单－－对改变我们的心理非常重要。
It's shaping a new way of being. 它形塑了存在的一个新方式。
The best way to describe it is "I share. Therefore, I am." 最好的形容方式是：“我分享，故我在。”
We use technology to define ourselves by sharing our thoughts and feelings even as we're having them. 我们借着甚至在拥有的当下去分享我们的思考和感受，来运用科技定义我们自己。
Furthermore, we're faking experiences so we'll have something to share, 此外，我们捏造经验好让我们有一些东西事可以分享，
so we can feel alive. 所以我们可以感受自己还活着。
We slip into thinking that always being connected is going to make us feel less alone. 我们一股脑儿地认为，永远被连结将会让我们感到不那么孤单。
But we are at risk because the opposite is true: 但我们处在危险中，因为相反情况是真的：
If we are not able to be alone, we are only going to know how to be lonely. 如果我们不能够独处，我们只会体验到如何变得孤单。