1.8 Being in the present 活在现在

When we talk about self improvement, we often talk about mastery of success. But if success comes at a high emotional① toll 1②, it can often turn into a failure. In our life we usually either live in the future, always thinking of things to come, or in the past, where our memories hunt us, day after day. It is very rare that we put all our energy in living in the present and enjoy the emotional freedom this brings.

　　When we spend time only planning or dreaming about things that didn’t happen yet, we often forget things that are extremely important right now. For example:

　　Let’s say that you are always thinking on how you are going on a vacation, and how wonderful it will be, and all the adventures you are going to have. Meanwhile, in the present, you work 7 days a week and are extremely stressed. You are so stressed, as a matter of fact, that you do not see how you can take a vacation at all. In your head the thoughts of vacation become a dream that is fading③ further and further away. It becomes a sort of an escape from your grim 2④ reality.

　　Now let’s look at the same scenario 3⑤ with a different twist. When you start having thoughts of a vacation, you realize that you work really hard, and you can not afford to let that kind of stress rule your life. So you do everything possible to take time off and make that vacation a reality. Being in the present gave you emotional freedom that didn’t cloud your judgment 4.

　　Past can be dangerous, if we spend most of our time there instead of living in the present. Here is an example of that:

　　You just went through a break up of a long term relationship, but you can’t let go. It hunts you. You find yourself constantly thinking of your ex., analyzing 5 what could have been, thinking about the reasons why the relationship ended. This makes you very unhappy.

　　Same scenario with a different outlook would be like that. The relationship is over. You mourn; go through all the necessary stages, but soon you realize that it was for the best. You look at your present situation and see that it is a new beginning for you. You start dating again and realize that it can be a lot of fun. You shed the old hair style, your old wardrobe. You become a new person simply by realizing your present situation and letting go of the past. Here emotional freedom allowed you to let go of the past and successfully move on.

　　This ability is so crucial that developing only that one skill will propel 6 your life to unbelievable heights of success. In order for us to be able to do everything we need to in our day-to-day activities, we need to feel good. Nothing makes us feel good as not being preoccupied 7 by the thoughts and emotions of things that passed or did not even happen yet. This skill is invaluable 8 in the success toolbox of our self improvement.

　　① emotional a. 情感的

　　② toll n. 代价

　　③ fade v. 枯萎，衰退

　　④ grim a. 严酷的

　　⑤ scenario n. 某一特定情景

　　当我们谈论自我完善时，我们谈论更多的是把握成功。但如果成功是以大量的情感为代价，往往可能变成失败。在我们的一生中，我们通常要么生活在未来——总是想着将要发生的事情，要么生活在过去——记忆萦绕在我们脑海之中，日复一日。而我们把所有的精力都用在现在的生活并且享受其所带来的情感自由的时候却是非常罕见的。

　　当我们总是把时间花在规划或者梦想还没有发生的事情的时候，我们常常会忘记此刻非常重要的事情。例如：

　　假设你一直在设想着你将如何去度假，这个假期将会如何地美妙以及你即将经历的所有的冒险活动。与此同时，你现在每周工作7天而且压力极大。事实上，你的压力已经大到你根本无法预见到你将如何去度假。于是你脑海中度假的想法变成了一个逐渐凋零的梦，它演变成了你对严酷现实的某种逃避。

　　现在让我们看看在相同的情境下截然不同的表现吧。当你开始有度假的想法时，你意识到你工作真的很辛苦，你不能让这种压力控制你的生活。所以你尽一切可能抽出一部分时间去度假。活在现在给了你情感自由，那并不会影响你的判断。

　　如果我们大部分的时间都花在回想过去而不是生活在现在，一样很危险。这里就有一个例子：

　　你刚刚经历了一场多年的恋爱，最终分手了，但你不能释怀。这种感觉困扰着你。你发现你不断地想起你的前男（女）友，不断地分析原本应该怎么样，不断地思考感情结束的原因。这使你非常苦恼。

　　同样的情境但是不同的观点将会是这样的：感情结束了，你怀念它，经历了所有必要的阶段，你很快意识到这也许不是件坏事。你考虑目前的情况，发现这对你来说是一个新的开始。你又开始约会，并意识到生活可以有无穷的乐趣。你换掉旧的发型，旧的衣柜。只不过因为你认识到了目前的情况并且放下了过去，你就焕然一新了。在这一点上，情感自由让你放下了过去并且顺利地继续前行。

　　这种能力是如此的重要，以至于仅仅培养这一种能力将会提升你的生活，令其达到一个令人难以置信的成功高度。为了让我们能够做到我们在日常活动中需要做的一切，我们要心情愉快。如果思绪和情感没有被过去或者将来的事情全部占据，我们的心情就会非常愉快。在我们成功地达到自我完善的技能中，这种技能是无价的。

　　反思：在情感上放自己自由，去改善你今天和明天的生活……