Solving Today's Problems with Yesterday's Technology

Solving Today's Problems with Yesterday's Technology

 My wife told me that our daughter, now 10, would grow up to spend a lot of time on the phone. These days, when our home phone rings, the wife and I usually don't even bother to pick it up. Our girl will grab 1 it and start gabbing 2. The only thing is, she has claimed almost all the phones in our house. And so when the phone rings and she's not there, it's a chore to find the phone and stop the ringing. But, we came up with a solution.

Now my wife and I both have cell phones. Our friends and family know (or should know by now) that it makes little sense to try and reach us on our home phones. Actually, my wife is hard to reach on any phone. She hardly ever answers her cell phone. Grrr. That's for another post, I guess.
Still, we need to have home phones: To call 911, and to answer the phone when my daughter isn't there. Oh, it's usually for her, but you can't let it ring forever. "Just let the answering machine take care of it," you say? Sure, but it will usually be one of her friends, a girl, or worse, a boy (ready the shotgun?). Then, the friend leaves a message, "Call me!" and rings back in about five minutes.
Last year, I went out and bought three new home phones, on sale, all of them cordless. The two cordless phones we had just died from constant use. I put one of the new phones in the family room, one in the foyer, one in our bedroom.
The only old style phone we have, with a cord 3 tethered to the wall, is in the kitchen. But that phone, like any with a cord, isn't really convenient, because if you answer it in the kitchen, it's hard to move around to cook, and you can't walk into the living room and sit down, or take a step outside for some fresh air (and peace and quiet).
That old style kitchen phone is a relic 4. It used to hang in my wife's childhood kitchen, as far as I can remember. It has a crack in it from being dropped. The numbers are worn off, and we re-write them in every so often with a Sharpie marker.
Those old cord-style phones are a pain. And my daughter knows it. That's why she has usurped 5 all of our cordless phones: Picking them up, using them, leaving them places, letting the batteries die, then picking up the next one she can find, and continuing the process. She even uses my wife's office phone, also cordless.
The other day, I saw a revelation 6 on the grocery list. Below toilet paper and milk was "a phone with a cord." I knew immediately what my wife was thinking. I stopped over at Meijer, and was able to find one, solitary 7 phone with a cord on the shelf (for $10). All of the other phones for sale were labeled as "convenient" and they were all cordless. Convenient, yes, if you use them and return them to the charger. I know, I know, I should make my daughter do this. She does, sometimes, rounding up all the died-out phones and putting them back into the charger. Then the scattering 8 (and chattering) process begins all over.
Back to my new, old phone. I brought it home from Meijer, and plugged it in to the phone socket 9 in our bedroom. Now, when the phone rings, there will be one on each floor that's sure to be there. Hah!
Now I haven't mentioned my other daughter in this post. She's not quite into the phone thing yet. We probably have a few more years. By that time, I hope to have the whole house rewired, if you get my drift 10.