齐辙：雅思写作改错练习（二）

 　　11 While talking to you, your could-be employers is deciding whether your education, your experience, and other qualifications will pay him to employ you and your "wares 1" and abilities must be displayed in an orderly and reasonably connected manner.

　　12 With economic growth has come centralization: fully 2 76 percent of Japan’s 119 million citizens lives in cities which community and the extended family have been abandoned in favor of isolated 3, tow-generation households.
　　13 After six months of arguing and final 16 hours of hot parliamentary debates, Australia’s Northern Territory became the first legal authority in the world to allow doctors to take the lives of incurably 4 ill patients whom wish to die.
　　14 The great interest in exceptional children shown in public education over the past three decades indicate the strong feeling in our society that all citizens, whatever his special conditions, deserve the opportunity to fully develop their capabilities 5.
　　15 Your humor must be relevant with the audience and should help to show them that you are one of them or that you understand their situation and are in sympathy with their point of view.
　　16 "The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, make them." Such is the remark made by Bernard Shaw, a great writer. This view has been shared now by more and more people.
　　17 The current passion to making children compete against their classmates or against the clock produce a two-layer system, in which competitive A-types seem in some way better than their B type fellows
　　18 Science moves forward, they say, not so much through the insights of great men of genius as because of more ordinary things like improving techniques and tools.
　　19 The "shareholders 6" as such have no knowledge of the lives, thoughts or needs of the workmen employing by the company in which he hold shares, and his influence on the relations of capital and labor 7 are not good.
　　20 During the discussion of rock singing verses at last month's stockholders' meeting, Levin assert that "music is not the cause of society's ills" and even cited his son, a teacher in the Bronx, New York, who uses rap to communicate with students.
　　参考答案
　　11 While talking to you, your could-be employers is deciding whether your education, your experience, and other qualifications will pay him to employ you and your "wares" and abilities must be displayed in an orderly and reasonably connected manner.
　　错误: While talking to you在这里没错。当主句的主语和状语从句的指代的是同一个人或物时，状语从句的主语可以省略，这就是状语从句省略结构。your could-be employers is应该是your could-be employers are.否则主谓不一致。pay him应该是pay him or her.
　　12 With economic growth has come centralization: fully 76 percent of Japan’s 119 million citizens lives in cities which community and the extended family have been abandoned in favor of isolated, tow-generation households.
　　错误: 119 million citizens lives应该是119 million citizens live. 否则主谓不一致。which应该是where或in which. which引导的定语从句应该是一个不完整的句子，where或in which的后面才能加上一个完整句
　　13 After six months of arguing and final 16 hours of hot parliamentary debates, Australia’s Northern Territory became the first legal authority in the world to allow doctors to take the lives of incurably ill patients whom wish to die.
　　错误: whom wish to die应该是who wish to die. whom引导的定语从句应该是一个不完整的句子，whom在定语从句中只能做宾语。而在who引导的定语从句，who既可以做主语，也可以做宾语。
　　14 The great interest in exceptional children shown in public education over the past three decades indicate the strong feeling in our society that all citizens, whatever his special conditions, deserve the opportunity to fully develop their capabilities.
　　错误: Indicate应该是indicates.因为该句的主语是The great interest。否则主谓不一致。whatever his special conditions应该是whatever their special conditions. Their在这里指代all citizens。
　　15 Your humor must be relevant with the audience and should help to show them that you are one of them or that you understand their situation and are in sympathy with their point of view.
　　错误: must be relevant with应该是must be relevant to. 介词搭配不当.
　　16 "The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, make them." Such is the remark made by Bernard Shaw, a great writer. This view has been shared now by more and more people.
　　错误: This view has been shared now应该是This view is shared now或者This view is now being shared.已经有了明确的时间状语now，所以这里只能用一般现在时或者现在进行时的被动语态。
　　17 The current passion to making children compete against their classmates or against the clock produce a two-layer system, in which competitive A-types seem in some way better than their B type fellows
　　错误: The current passion to应该是The current passion for. 介词搭配不当. produce应该是produces，因为该句话的主语是The current passion。否则主谓不一致。
　　18 Science moves forward, they say, not so much through the insights of great men of genius as because of more ordinary things like improving techniques and tools.
　　错误: improving techniques and tools应该是improved techniques and tools.用过去分词或现在分词做状语时，要注意它们与被修饰名词的关系。这里讲得是被改进过的技术和工具，所以应该是improved techniques and tools而不是improving techniques and tools。
　　19 The "shareholders" as such have no knowledge of the lives, thoughts or needs of the workmen employing by the company in which he hold shares, and his influence on the relations of capital and labor are not good.
　　错误: employing by the company应该是employed by the company.过去分词做后置定语时，相当于一个省略了的定语从句。所以这里的employed by the company相当于who are employed by the company. he hold shares应该是they hold shares.因为这里的they指代的是The "shareholders"。his influence on the relations应该是their influences on the relations. Their在这里也是指代The "shareholders"。
　　20 During the discussion of rock singing verses at last month's stockholders' meeting, Levin assert that "music is not the cause of society's ills" and even cited his son, a teacher in the Bronx, New York, who uses rap to communicate with students.
　　错误: and并列连接两个谓语，应该是平行结构。 assert应该是asserted.