时间:2019-02-18 作者:英语课 分类:阅读空间


英语课

 Living Scared


Sometimes the answers to our problems are not nearly as complex or elusive 1 as many of us seem to believe they are. Or as difficult as some of us make them. Sometimes our problems only exist in our head. Sometimes the journey from where we are to where we’d like to be is not nearly as terrifying as we imagine it is. In fact, it’s often kind of exhilarating and liberating 2.


Living Scared
That’s right; some of us make life hard. Our inability to make certain decisions or do certain things keeps us trapped in a reality that we don’t enjoy. Hate, in fact. And standing 3 at the door of our self-created prison is a gate-keeper who only exists in our mind; fear. While other people can walk in and out of our prison (reality) at will, fear has kept some of us from freedom for far too long - telling us what to do, and what not to do, for as long as we can remember. Influencing, if not controlling virtually every area of our lives. For years we’ve been fearful of getting hurt in some way, fearful of getting fat, or being unloved, unwanted, poor, humiliated 4, of upsetting people or being discovered for the fraud we believe we are. And we’re petrified 5 of being alone. We’ve lived so much of our life negatively, simply doing our best to avoid the ‘bad stuff’ and to survive, that somewhere along the way, we seem to have lost, or maybe never even really found, us; the us we still want to be, the us we could be and the us we’ve dreamed about since we were five.
It’s okay, you’re still in there.
Sometimes the seemingly insurmountable gap between our current reality and our own version of amazing (prison and freedom) is much smaller than we think. Much, much smaller. A mere 6 step away in fact. With the only challenge being that sometimes the step we need to take is a doozy; the ‘no safety net’ step. And we love safety nets - that’s a big part of the problem.
Fear is a jealous gate-keeper and he wants you staying put in your make-believe prison. That’s how he operates. He doesn’t want you to see what’s out there, what’s possible for you. He can’t keep you in there but only he knows that. He’s been holding a pair of threes while you’ve had four aces 7 in your hand for years, but he’s bluffed 8 you every time. Stared you down, made you believe something that wasn’t true - that what you have in your hand isn’t good enough. Well listen up…
It is good enough. You are good enough.
This is not feel-good, positive thinking mumbo jumbo, its reality. But you need to make it YOUR reality. Fear doesn’t want you making decisions, taking chances or exploring your potential because that’s where he loses his power. He doesn’t want you hanging out with those ‘positive thinking’ types and he certainly doesn’t want you paying too much attention to articles like this one.
Healthy and unhealthy fear
Of course there’s a time to fear. If someone is pointing a gun at you and you are fearful, then that makes you normal, not gutless. We would call that healthy fear. But that’s not what we’re talking about today. Today we’re talking about the unhealthy, destructive and often irrational 9 fear that controls and ruins lives.
Fearful creatures
People often ask me what I believe stops so many of us from fulfilling our potential and from creating our best life. In truth, there are many things on the list of likely obstacles: procrastination 11, laziness, ignorance, indifference 12, ego 13 and a bunch of other stuff, but without doubt, at the top of most lists, is fear.
It’s true; we humans are fearful creatures. On some level we all operate on fear from time to time, and to a point, that’s understandable. Wise even. But beyond a point, it’s stupid. Destructive even. It’s about knowing where that line in the sand should be and staying on the right side. A little fear - good. A life controlled by fear - bad. Painful.
Far too many of our significant ‘life decisions’ come out of our fearful mindset, and as a consequence, many of us live a life of compromise, under-achievement and imprisonment 14. And repetition. And repetition. It’s like some of us are Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. And repetition. All of our days are just like the ones before. And sadly for some, tomorrow will be the same too. Because that’s what we do; the same - even though we desperately 15 want different. The journey between where we are and where we want to be scares the crap out of us so we stay put. In Samesville.
“I don’t really like my life right now, but at least there’s a level of familiarity and predictability about it. I know what’s coming each day and in a way, I’m comfortable with that. It doesn’t particularly fulfill 10 me but it doesn’t terrify me either. So if it’s okay with you, I’ll stay here in a holding pattern for forty or fifty years and then I’ll die, just like dear old Dad did. There won’t be a whole lot of joy or fun, but at least I know what to expect each day.”
We love certainty (a dangerous thing to love in a uncertain world), we’re addicted 16 to safety, we seek familiarity and we want risk-free (good luck with that). Ironically certainty, safety, familiarity and risk-free… is not where we grow, learn, adapt, change or improve. Or find our best life. In fact, quite often the things that we gravitate towards are our biggest handicap.
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I have spent a lifetime watching people complicate 17 the simple, avoid the obvious and not do the very things they should or could have done, long ago. Some people have been almost creating their best life for far too long. Some people have been standing at the threshold of greatness for years, twiddling their thumbs, wasting their time and talent and hoping in vain that success might somehow find it’s way to them. An interesting, if not totally unrealistic notion.
Some people have been in situations or circumstances that they really don’t want to be in, for years. Decades even. This is because they associate more discomfort 18 / pain with getting out of their current reality, than staying in it. So they stay. Miserable 19 and scared.
Some Personal Development Junkies are masters of this. Just one more workshop, one more conversation, one more mentoring 20 session, one more self-help book and just one more day and then I’ll do it. Okay, maybe two more days. Sadly, they don’t understand that what they really need is not more time, books, workshops or more motivational fluff, what they really need is some balls. Excuse my honesty but some people are highly educated, very capable, extremely talented and gutless. I’ve met many of them. Give me someone with less talent, less opportunities, more adversity and some genuine courage, and I’ll show you how to get some real results.
I know this is not a message that’s often taught in personal development circles but I believe that’s a big mistake. I believe it should be shouted from the roof tops. We like to gravitate towards the feel-good (but mostly useless and disempowering) psycho-babble crap. It makes us feel warm and fuzzy for ten minutes but results in no long term positive change. Of course I believe there is a time for listening, for handing holding, for back rubbing, for hugging and for loving support and encouragement. The problem is, some people have had all of that for years and they’re STILL in the same place and still doing the same destructive things. Sometimes more therapy ain’t the answer. I know that’s not a popular thing to say but it’s true. There’s a time when some people need to suck it up, to stop looking for pity, to stop being a victim and start taking control of their own life. Simple.
Courage
So often we are taught that creating our best life is about talent, opportunities, planning, goal setting, vision, passion, discipline and a bunch of other stuff. And to an extent it is; it’s about all of those things. But there’s one non-negotiable ingredient that doesn’t get the attention it should; courage. Our ability to do what we need to do, despite the fear. If we have all of the ingredients but no courage, we’ll never get there. Wherever there is for us.
Fear and all it’s implications in the lives of us mere mortals is something which has fascinated me for years. I have watched it ruin many friendships, careers, businesses, marriages and lives. I have seen it destroy individuals. Like most emotions, on some level, we create it. It’s very personal and individual. It’s a personal response to, or interpretation 21 of, an event, situation or circumstance.
I’ve also watched many people stare-down and overcome their fears and enjoy a life of happiness, joy and exhilaration that only comes with true freedom. I’ve seen brave people turn their lives around after years of frustration 22 and sadness. And I’ve seen ordinary people do incredible things because they chose to walk out of that prison cell. Once and for all.
Remember…
On the other side of fear is freedom.
Enjoy your liberty my friend.
You deserve it and you’re worth it.

adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的
  • Try to catch the elusive charm of the original in translation.翻译时设法把握住原文中难以捉摸的风韵。
  • Interpol have searched all the corners of the earth for the elusive hijackers.国际刑警组织已在世界各地搜查在逃的飞机劫持者。
解放,释放( liberate的现在分词 )
  • Revolution means liberating the productive forces. 革命就是为了解放生产力。
  • They had already taken on their shoulders the burden of reforming society and liberating mankind. 甚至在这些集会聚谈中,他们就已经夸大地把改革社会、解放人群的责任放在自己的肩头了。 来自汉英文学 - 家(1-26) - 家(1-26)
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
感到羞愧的
  • Parents are humiliated if their children behave badly when guests are present. 子女在客人面前举止失当,父母也失体面。
  • He was ashamed and bitterly humiliated. 他感到羞耻,丢尽了面子。
adj.惊呆的;目瞪口呆的v.使吓呆,使惊呆;变僵硬;使石化(petrify的过去式和过去分词)
  • I'm petrified of snakes. 我特别怕蛇。
  • The poor child was petrified with fear. 这可怜的孩子被吓呆了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
abbr.adjustable convertible-rate equity security (units) 可调节的股本证券兑换率;aircraft ejection seat 飞机弹射座椅;automatic control evaluation simulator 自动控制评估模拟器n.擅长…的人( ace的名词复数 );精于…的人;( 网球 )(对手接不到发球的)发球得分;爱司球
  • The local representative of ACES will define the local area. ACES的当地代表将划定当地的范围。 来自互联网
  • Any medical expenses not covered by ACES insurance are the sole responsibility of the parents. 任何ACES保险未包括的医疗费用一律是父母的责任。 来自互联网
以假象欺骗,吹牛( bluff的过去式和过去分词 ); 以虚张声势找出或达成
  • Hung-chien bluffed, "You know perfectly well yourself without my telling you." 鸿渐摆空城计道:“你心里明白,不用我说。”
  • In each case the hijackers bluffed the crew using fake grenades. 每一个案例中,劫机者都用了假手榴弹吓唬机组人员。
adj.无理性的,失去理性的
  • After taking the drug she became completely irrational.她在吸毒后变得完全失去了理性。
  • There are also signs of irrational exuberance among some investors.在某些投资者中是存在非理性繁荣的征象的。
vt.履行,实现,完成;满足,使满意
  • If you make a promise you should fulfill it.如果你许诺了,你就要履行你的诺言。
  • This company should be able to fulfill our requirements.这家公司应该能够满足我们的要求。
n.拖延,耽搁
  • Procrastination is the father of failure. 因循是失败的根源。
  • Procrastination is the thief of time. 拖延就是浪费时间。
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎
  • I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
  • He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。
n.自我,自己,自尊
  • He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
  • She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。
n.关押,监禁,坐牢
  • His sentence was commuted from death to life imprisonment.他的判决由死刑减为无期徒刑。
  • He was sentenced to one year's imprisonment for committing bigamy.他因为犯重婚罪被判入狱一年。
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
adj.沉溺于....的,对...上瘾的
  • He was addicted to heroin at the age of 17.他17岁的时候对海洛因上了瘾。
  • She's become addicted to love stories.她迷上了爱情小说。
vt.使复杂化,使混乱,使难懂
  • There is no need to complicate matters.没有必要使问题复杂化。
  • These events will greatly complicate the situation.这些事件将使局势变得极其复杂。
n.不舒服,不安,难过,困难,不方便
  • One has to bear a little discomfort while travelling.旅行中总要忍受一点不便。
  • She turned red with discomfort when the teacher spoke.老师讲话时她不好意思地红着脸。
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
n.mentoring是一种工作关系。mentor通常是处在比mentee更高工作职位上的有影响力的人。他/她有比‘mentee’更丰富的工作经验和知识,并用心支持mentee的职业(发展)。v.(无经验之人的)有经验可信赖的顾问( mentor的现在分词 )
  • One of the most effective instruments for coaching and mentoring is the "role rehearsal" . 辅导和教学的最有效的手段之一是“角色排练。” 来自辞典例句
  • Bell Canada called their mentoring system a buddy-buddy system. 加拿大贝尔公司称他们的训导系统是伙伴—伙伴系统。 来自互联网
n.解释,说明,描述;艺术处理
  • His statement admits of one interpretation only.他的话只有一种解释。
  • Analysis and interpretation is a very personal thing.分析与说明是个很主观的事情。
n.挫折,失败,失效,落空
  • He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
  • He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。
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