英语畅谈中国文化50主题 46

The Ideal Man理想男人

　A：A Chinese girl falls in love with a Frenchman who always buys her gifts. The girl feels overwhelmed 1 with love. “A Chinese man would never buy me so many gifts,” she said.

　　B：I’ve also heard that many Chinese girls like to have Western boyfriends. Men are good at making their girlfriends happy through buying them gifts. But you know what, when those girls really need help, Western men would usually tell them to “handle it themselves.” Chinese girls are disappointed when their Western boyfriends are unwilling 2 to spend a lot of money on them.

　　A：According to Chinese tradition, a woman marries for food and shelter. Although a Chinese man is not good at buying gifts for his wife, he feels obliged to support her for the rest of her life. Love becomes secondary. A Western man may be good at showering his girl friend with gifts but he usually has second thoughts when it comes to a meaningful relationship. That’s why many Chinese girls feel it less advantageous 3 to marry Western men. Western men, on the other hand, find Chinese girls too pragmatic and less independent.

　　B：I remember reading an article about a Chinese girl who married an American. The girl came all the way to Beijing to live with the man. She never asked him for money and neither did she rely on his connections. Instead she supported herself through an English training class and eventually found a nice job. When the man asked her to marry him, he told her “You are different from many Chinese girls. They are too dependent on men.”

　　A：Chinese people believe that if two people fall in love, they should share happiness and hardship. Many Chinese women find it unbelievable that Western men would allow their girlfriends to rough it on their own. Sometimes I wonder if it is an excuse by Western men to escape their responsibilities by talking about independence. One may get a lot of gifts by marrying a Western man but you will probably lose their life-long support, unless you are prepared to face all the challenges yourself. As for the girl who married the American, I just feel there are too many uncertainties 4 for her, both physically 5 and mentally.

　　B：The good news is Chinese men have learned to buy gifts for their girl friends. That’s why roses cost a fortune on Valentine’s Day.

　　A：You seem to suggest that Chinese men are preferable and more dependable.

　A：一个中国女孩交了个法国男朋友，他常送礼物给她。中国女孩为爱而倾倒。她说，“中国男人很少会给我买这么多礼物。”

　　B：我也听说过中国女孩喜欢交外国男友。送礼物是洋男人的长项，但是到了女人需要实质性帮助时，洋男人通常用一句“我知道你能行”来打发。经济上的泾渭分明，让中国女孩感到失望。

　　A：依据中国传统观念，嫁汉嫁汉，穿衣吃饭。虽然中国男人不善送礼物，却要承担女人一生的托付，爱情退居第二位。洋男人，擅长与女友分享小礼物，但进入实质性关系时，他通常不能一心一意。这就是许多中国女人觉得嫁这种男人不实惠的原因。而洋男人却觉得中国女人太实际，太依赖男人。

　　B：我曾经读过一篇关于一个中国女孩的文章，讲她嫁给一个美国男人的故事。女孩子抛弃所有，到北京与这个男人住在一起。她不求男人在金钱上的帮助，也不靠他的人脉关系，她依靠自已的收入读完了英语培训课程，找到了体面的工作。当这个男人请求女孩嫁给他时，告诉她： “你和那些中国女孩不同，他们都太想依靠男人。”

　　A：中国人认为两个人相爱就应该有福同享，有难同当。洋男人看着女人独自打拼而不管不顾令中国女人感到不可思议。有时候我怀疑，强调女人独立这是不是洋男人为逃避责任而找的借口。无论如何，嫁这样的洋男人，得到的是小礼物，失去的却是终生依靠。除非你做好了独自面对所有难题的准备。像那位嫁给美国人的女孩，对她来讲，不论是心力还是体力，都有太多的不确定因素了。

　　B：所幸的是，中国男人也开始为他们的女友买礼物了。这就是为什么情人节的鲜花卖出天价的原因。

　　A：你似乎是说中国的男人比洋男人完美许多，也可靠许多。