双语美文：不可能人人都成为富人

 We can't all be rich. Why not learn how to be a poser like the rest of us?

　　Here are some tips and tricks sure to make you look and sound richer even if you're broke like the rest of us.
　　Follow the suggestions below and look rich like the rest of us.
　　Language
　　Even if you only graduated from high school, here's how to sound like you went to Harvard. The key thing to remember about dropping big words is that not all big words are suited to everyday conversation. You want to learn those big buzz words that rich people throw around at cocktail 1 parties . Here are some examples:
　　faux, guache, chicque or passe - These all can be used on your next shopping trip with your rich friends. Just remember to look them up and pronounce them correctly. （Definitions from the left: Fake, cheap, fancy, outdated）
　　vernacular 2
　　This is just a fancy word for vocabulary. Specifically vernacular refers the particular set of words and phrases that you grew up with in your hometown.
　　moratorium 3
　　Used in a sentence this word means putting a stop to something. Example: （There should be a moratorium on animal testing because it's cruel and inhumane.）
　　existential
　　This refers to a philosphical movement which questioned the meaning of life in the 19th century. （That is so existential） or （She's obviously going through some kind of existential crisis） works just fine.
　　Plebs
　　This is what rich people use to diss the poor. "What a pleb" , or "How plebian" roughly translates to: how low class or ghetto 4.
　　Clothes
　　Fit is crucial. You can still look rich without buying a three piece suit, but your clothes need to fit. For women, if you regularly sport a muffin top or plumber's crack because your pants are too tight, bra straps 5 because your top doesn't have enough coverage 6, or outfits 7 with circular cutouts, you will be pegged 8 as ghetto and appropriately snubbed. Rich people wear loose, flowing, tasteful garments in the daylight and look like they've just come from lounging on their yacht. It also doesn't hurt to go business casual with a trendy blazer over jeans. If they save the spandex for the club, so should you.
　　For men, it's just the opposite. Gangsters 9 and pimps wear baggy 10 clothes because they can't afford to get them tailored. Go out grandpa style, hike up those pants. If Kanye can rock the pink sweater vest and golfing pants then so can you.
　　Shoes
　　No plastic please. Nothing says payless like sky-blue plastic wedges where your heel is hanging off the back. For men, stick with simplicity 11, if you spent three hundred dollars on gators with italian leather tassles, you don't look rich. And leave the sneakers for the gym.
　　Hair
　　If you've ever dyed your hair a color that doesn't occur in nature, this one's for you. Orange, blue, yellow （not blond）, purple, green or pink are the colors of poverty. Try to stick with solid colors, natural highlights, and shoulder length bobs. For men, dial down the grease and stick with downy soft feathered styles.Rich people like to blend in so that they won't get mugged.
　　Overall, following these tips is sure to get your foot in the door of richness. Or at the very least, get you a better table at your restaurant.
　　我们不可能人人都成为富人。既然如此，为什么不像其他人一样学着装腔作势呢？
　　这里有些方法和诀窍可以让你看起来和听起来更富有即使你和其他人一样一文不名的。
　　遵循以下建议你就会看起来像其他人一样富有。
　　语言
　　即使你只有高中毕业的学历，这里有些建议让你听起来你在哈佛深造过。关键点是你要记住：大话之所以揭穿是因为并不是所有的大话都适合日常交谈的。你要学会那些富人们在鸡尾酒宴会上随处可用的一些无意义的大话。这里有些列子。
　　* Faux, guache, chicque or passé---这些在你下回与你朋友逛街的时候可以使用的词。只要记得查下这些词的意思然后发音正确就可以了。（左边词的解释：假的，便宜，新奇的，过时的）
　　* 花俏
　　这只不过是词汇的花俏名称。花俏的词汇特别涉及到一些你在你成长的家乡所用到的一些特别词组。
　　* 延期偿付
　　用在一个句子中，这个词表示停止做某事。 比如（因为这种行为既残忍又没人性，所以必须停止对动物做实验。
　　* 存在的
　　这个涉及到19世纪有关质疑生命意义的哲学运动，像在（那太存在主义了）或者（显然她可以挺过这些存在的危机）句子中都可以使用这词。
　　* 平民
　　这是富人用来形容穷人的词，"太平民了",或者"多么平民啊"大概的翻译为：多么下等的阶层或者贫民窟。
　　衣着
　　合适是关键。只要衣服合适，即使你没有3件套，你可以依旧看起来像富人。对女士来说，如果因为你的裤子太紧而时常炫耀你腰围的赘肉或者露出屁股沟，又或者因上身没有足够的遮蔽物或者因穿露肩装而露出你的文胸肩带，那么你就会被示为贫民，毫无疑问地被冷落。 富人们白天穿宽松的，有线条感的且有品位的衣服，看起来他们好象刚从他们游艇的休息室出来。牛仔裤搭配时尚的便装去谈生意也无不妥。
　　对男士来说，恰恰相反。匪徒和皮条客穿着宽松的衣服是因为他们负担不起两省定做的钱。扔掉这些老式装束，让那些裤子飘动起来吧。 如果肯伊能让粉红毛背心和高尔夫裤子变的很时髦，那么你同样做到。
　　鞋子
　　千万别穿塑胶鞋。没有什么比那些天蓝色的让你的脚后跟挂在鞋外的塑胶坡跟鞋看起来更廉价的了。对男士来说，要坚持简约风格，如果你花300多美元买双带有意大利皮质流苏的鳄鱼鞋，你看起来根本就不像富人。把这些胶底运动鞋留到健身房去用吧。
　　发型
　　如果你染的发色看起来不自然的话，那这不适合你。橘色，蓝色，黄色（不是金色的）紫色，绿色或者粉色都是贫民的颜色。对女士来说最好是弄些单一的发色，颜色看起来要自然，头发长度在肩上下。对男士来说，不要涂太多的润滑脂，发型要看起来柔软蓬松。富人喜欢与大家相融合这样就不会被人攻击。
　　总之，遵循这些方法肯定可以让你跨入富人的门槛。或者至少你在住的酒店可以得到比较好的对待。