有时“不错”好过“完美”

 　　I was inspired by an observation by Voltaire to make my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” In other words, instead of pushing yourself to an impossible “perfect,” and therefore getting nowhere, accept “good.” Many things worth doing are worth doing badly.

　　I have a friend who never exercises unless she’s training for a marathon; as a consequence, she almost never exercises. I never push myself when I exercise, and although I suspect she scoffs 1 at my wimpy 2 workouts, I’ve managed to get myself to exercise several times a week for years. If I’d tried to have a more ambitious 3 workout, I’m sure I wouldn’t have exercised at all.
　　Along the same lines, I told a friend that one of my happiness-project resolutions was to "remember birthdays," and so I was sending out happy-birthday e-mails. He said, "Oh, you shouldn't e-mail! You should call or write a hand-written note; that's much nicer." True—but I won't. And it's better to get something done imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly 4.
　　The perfect can also become the enemy of the good in the quest 5 for perfect information. There are two ways to approach decision-making: as a satisficer (yes, that is a word) or as a maximizer.
　　Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria 6 are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high, but as soon as they find the pasta sauce or the business card that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the optimal 7 decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, to make the best possible choice. Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers; maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they’re often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the best choice. (For a fascinating discussion, read Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox 8 of Choice.)
　　In almost every category, I’m a satisficer, and in fact, I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. But it’s one of my Secrets of Adulthood 9: Most decisions don’t require extensive research. In picking a girls’ summer camp, a friend got information from 25 camps and visited five in person. We got information from five camps and picked the one that a friend’s daughter loved. I used to think that my lack of diligence was a sign of laziness, and my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good” has made me feel a lot better.
　　In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection 10 or making the perfect choice.
　　伏尔泰曾说过：“别因为苛求完美而错过美好的结果。”在这句话的影响下，我决定如此这般行事。换言之，逼迫自己去追逐不可能实现的“完美”而最终一事无成，还不如接受“不错”。很多事情值得一做，而且非常值得一做。
　　我的一个朋友除了做马拉松训练不愿意做任何锻炼；结果，她几乎从不锻炼。我从不在锻炼时苛求自己，而且尽管相信她会嘲笑我的锻炼强度太小，我已经做到多年来每个星期都坚持做几次。如果我过去为自己设定高强度的训练计划，我想我肯定一点锻炼都不曾做。
　　本着同样的精神，我告诉一个朋友我的“幸福计划”方案之一便是“记住别人的生日”，并且我常常在别人生日当天发出祝福的E-mail.他说：“你不应该发电子邮件，你应该打电话或者寄一封手写信，那才象样嘛。”他说的的确有道理，不过我不会这么做。如果对事情的完美要求使我们无法做到的话，还不如去先做出某些结果，就算做得不够完美。
　　在寻求信息的时候，完美主义同样是表现不错的敌人。做决定时通常有两种方法，一种是立即行动，一种是尽善尽美。
　　立即行动者是指那些一旦基本要求得到满足便立即做出决定或采取行动的人。这样的行事方法并不意味着他们会甘于成绩平庸;他们的标准可以很高，但若一旦发现他们需要的意大利面酱或者名片等小事物能达到他们的基本要求，他们就不会多加挑剔。而尽善尽美者则希望执行最佳方案,就算他们发现单车和背包都已经准备好，他们都会犹豫不决，直到他们评估了所有的可能性做出了最佳的选择。研究表明立即行动者会比尽善尽美者更快乐。尽善尽美者在做决定上花费掉太多的时间和精力，而且事实上他们常常会怀疑是否做出了最佳选择而焦虑。
　　几乎每一个方面，我都算是个立即行动者。而且事实上，我常常因为没有在做决定前做大量研究而心有不安。但是这是我作为成年人总结的独有心得：大多数的决定都不需要做广泛的事前研究。在一次为女儿挑选夏令营的过程中，一个朋友搜集了25个夏令营的资料而且亲自实地考察了5个。而我们不过获取了5个夏令营的信息就找到了一个朋友的女儿所满意的。我过去常认为我不够面面俱到，体现了自己的懒惰，而“别因为苛求完美而错过美好”让我觉得安心了很多。
　　在某些情况下，获得幸福感的方法就是要认识到不错已经足够好，而不去苛求事事完美或者做出的抉择绝对无可挑剔。