办公室人情的烦恼

 　　The question

　　I am getting increasingly weary about having to sign birthday and leaving cards for colleagues. Other people write funny things and add kisses but I can never think of anything original to say, so I usually write "good luck" or "happy birthday" and do not include kisses. I also never know how much money to put in the envelope. For a birthday for a colleague I don't like much, I only put in ?1 but then feel mean. Are there any rules to make this odd process easier?
　　对于自己不得不在同事的生日贺卡和离职纪念卡上写留言，我越来越感到厌烦。其他人能写出有趣的东西，并送上一个香吻唇印。但是我从来想不出任何原创的东西，所以通常只写"祝好运"或者"生日快乐"，而且不附上"香吻"。我也从来不知道该在信封里放多少钱。如果是我不太喜欢的同事过生日，我只放1英镑，但觉得自己很吝啬。有没有什么规则可以使这种古怪的事情变得简单些？
　　ANSWER
　　Yes, there are rules, but you seem to know them already. It has taken me decades of pen-sucking over these wretched cards to work out that it is easy. Your colleagues may make this into a contest of lame 1 witticisms 2, but you can simply opt 3 out.
　　是的，确实有规则，但你似乎已经知道了。在写贺卡这件令人讨厌的事上，我咬了几十年笔头才得出结论：其实很简单。你的同事可能将它视为一场写蹩脚俏皮话的比赛，但你完全可以选择退出。
　　For a birthday card, here is what you say: Happy Birthday. Then you sign your name. You are right about kisses, they are not called for. These little crosses have multiplied on office cards as part of a trend to emotional incontinence. Before long "Luv ya loadz" may be seen on office cards, so it is good to know that you and I, at least, are holding out.
　　对于一张生日贺卡，你可以这么写"生日快乐"，然后签上你的名字。你对"香吻"的看法是对的，这并无必要。作为情绪失控潮流之一，这些"香吻"正在办公室卡片上成倍增加。不久，"Luv ya loadz"之类的俗文字可能出现在办公室卡片上，因此，很高兴知道至少有你和我在抵制此事。
　　Leaving cards are a bit harder, but there is a formula here, too. I have a repertoire 4 of two comments: "I'll miss you," and "good luck". If I'm feeling extravagant 5, I use both.
　　离职卡就有点难了，但也有一个公式。我预备了两句话："我会想念你的"和"祝好运"。如果我当时感情丰富，我就把两句都用上。
　　Money is hardest. However, there is no need to fret 6 over your meanness, as it seems to be the norm. At my office the money goes into a big envelope, and so you can't usually see how much people are putting in, though if you look at the number of people who have signed the card and the amount collected it always seems low. I'm pretty sure I once saw a man slip in ?5 and then remove rather more than that in change.
　　给多少钱是最难的。但是，没有必要为你的吝啬而感到烦恼，因为这似乎是惯例。在我的办公室，钱都装进一个大信封，这样，你一般无法看到人们往里面放了多少钱，但如果你看看卡片上签名人数和集到的钱，就会发现钱看上去总是太少。我发誓，我曾经看到一个人装进了5英镑，然后从信封里拿走了比那还多的零钱。
　　For birthdays I give nothing, as colleagues shouldn't expect to be showered with birthday gifts at work. With leaving collections it depends how much I like the person going. For someone I barely know and don't much like, I give a couple of quid. For someone I've worked with I give either ?10 or ?20, depending mainly on which notes are in my purse at the time.
　　至于生日，我什么也不给，因为同事不该指望从工作单位得到大量生日礼物。离职礼物则取决于我对要走的这个人有多喜欢。对我几乎不怎么认识、也不太喜欢的人，我就给两英镑。对在一起合作的人，我要么给10英镑、要么给20英镑，主要得看当时我钱包里有哪种面值的钞票。
　　The most important rule is to stop worrying. There are so many collections at work that if you fret about them all you'll never get any work done.
　　最重要的规则是不要再发愁。工作单位里凑份子的事情太多了，如果你要发愁，就什么活儿也干不了了。