网评不做键盘侠，12个问题先自答

 Ah, the comments section.

啊，谈到了网络评论的部分。
It's where the Internet — in all its terrible glory — weighs in on the hottest issues of the day. And after you read a particularly incendiary article, you too may be tempted 1 to weigh in.
正是网络世界，因其各种可怕的荣耀总在衡量和批判当下最火热的话题。并且当你阅读了一篇特别爆炸性的文章时，你太想参与到讨论当中了。
Not so fast, champ.
先别急，你只是草草地看了一遍而已。
Before you leave your magnum opus in that comment field, take a deep breath and ask yourself these questions. With a little introspection, you may be able to avoid an ugly feud 2 or a lot of embarrassment 3.
在你准备在评论区发表个人伟论前，先深呼吸，问问自己以下这些问题。带着自我反省的目的，也许你就能避免了一场难堪的纷争或者满屏的尴尬了。
网评不做键盘侠，12个问题先自答
1. Does this comment represent me well?
1. 我所发表的评论能代表我本人吗？
Your comments show the Internet what kind of person you are. Make sure it’s a good one, not a terrible garbage one.
在网络上，你的评论显示了你本人的特点。你得确保这是合适的，而不是不堪入目的言论。
2. Would I want my #1 role model to read this comment?
2. 为什么我希望爱豆看到自己的评论？
Whether your role model of choice is your mother, your college Biology professor or Home Improvement star Tim Allen, make sure your Internet comment is something your idol 4 would be proud to read.
无论你所的崇拜对象是你的母亲，你的大学生物教授还是家居改善计划的专家Tim Allen，你也得确保自己的网络评论让偶像有阅读的价值。
3. Am I reading a satirical article?
3.文章是否带有挖苦讽刺的意味？
Does the article seem too crazy to be true? That could be because, uh … it’s not.
文章看起来会不会离谱得很，从而让你怀疑它的真实性？这可能是因为……这确实不是真的。
4. Is my comment offensive?
4.我的评论会不会侵犯到别人？
If your comment contains slurs 5 or relies on stereotypes 6, reconsider posting. Some jokes aren’t worth hurting others or perpetuating 7 harmful structures -- no matter how hilarious 8 you think they are.
如果你的言论模棱两可，或者只是基于先入为主而发表的，那就重新考虑你的措辞吧。某些玩笑话不值得用于伤害他人或使有害的信息继续传播下去，无论你认为它们多么值得大笑。
5. Should I telephone a loved one -- perhaps my son -- or write this Internet comment?
5. 我该给我爱的人（比如我的儿子）打电话吗？或者把这则评论发布到网络上？
When was the last time you talked to your son? He misses you. You know who doesn’t miss you? The comments section of “Best Power Ballads 9 of October 1996.”
上一次跟儿子聊天是什么时候了？他很想念你。那么根本不想念你的人是谁？就是“Best Power Ballads of October 1996”的评论区！
6. Did a loved one -- perhaps my son -- write this article?
6. 这篇文章是我所爱的人（也许是我的儿子）写的吗？
It doesn’t matter how much you disagree with the article’s content -- if your own estranged 10 child (pictured above) wrote it, you should address your qualms 11 in person. It’s been 20 long years, after all.
这与你多么不喜欢文章的内容无关，如果你的关系疏远的儿子（就像上图的那位）写的这篇文章，你就应该亲自跟他表达你的担忧。毕竟已经过去20年了，对吧？
7. Has someone already expressed my opinion using similar words?
7. 有没有人早已发布了跟我一样的言论？
If another user has already made your comment, you should be excited. It means you don’t have to write anything. Just upvote and nod, pal 12.
如果有别的用户已经发表了跟你同样的观点，你会很激动。这意味着你就不需要再写任何评论了。只需要点赞和点头就可以了，兄弟。
8. Will I act chill if people disagree with me?
8. 如果其他人不同意我的观点，我能不能保持冷静？
You know the old popular saying: If you can’t take the Internet, get out of that Internet.
你知道，有句老话这么说的：忍受不了网络，就滚出网络。
9. Am I hungry?
9. 我饿了吗？
Come on, you know you get angry when you’re hungry. When did you eat breakfast? Should you really be online right now?
亲，你就知道的，饿的时候就容易生气。你什么时候吃的早餐？现在真的还该呆在网上吗？
10. What should I have for lunch?
10. 午餐该吃啥？
Eggplant parm sounds good. I know you had it yesterday, but it’s best to stick with something reliable. You can expand your horizons another day.
茄子干酪三明治似乎是个不错的选择。我知道你昨天已经吃过了，但是对某些可靠的东西保持专一还是很不错的。因为今天你就能拓展自己的视野了。
11. Is it bad that I eat eggplant parm every day?
11.每天都吃茄子干酪三明治会不会不是一个好的决定？
Of course not! Everyone has their “thing,” and yours is eggplant parmesan.
肯定不会啊！每个人都有自己的“癖好”，而你的就是茄子干酪三明治了。
12. Did I actually read the article?
12. 认真阅读这篇文章了吗？
Did you forget to read the article again? Oh, you!
你是否已经忘了重新阅读这篇文章了？啧啧，你呀！