应该打破的结婚常规

 　　Marriage Rules You Should Break

　　应该打破的结婚常规
　　The two of you should do everything together; work out every disagreement (without actually fighting); spend every night in the same bed; and never, ever be bored. Say what?! These and other so-called "rules" for marriage need some serious debunking 1. And it's not just because rules your mother may have passed on are outdated 2; some may be downright damaging. In fact, "breaking some marriage 'rules' may be the best thing you can do for your relationship," says Barbara Bartlein, psychotherapist and author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Here are the rules you can break with confidence.
　　夫妻应该一起做每一件事；解决每一次纷争（并没有真正的吵架）；每晚都睡在同一张床上；永远都不能无聊。还能说什么呢？我们真的要重新解读这些和其它一些所谓的结婚“规则”了！因为你母亲传授给你的这些规则不但落伍，而且还可能有损夫妻感情。事实上，“打破一些结婚‘常规’可能是恋情中你能做的最好努力，”《我为何要嫁给你？》一书的作者兼心理治疗师芭芭拉?巴特琳说道。下列这些常规你绝对可以打破！
　　1. Never go to bed angry.
　　1. 永远不要带着怒气睡觉。
　　Where did this one come from? Turns out, it may go as far back as the Bible, which advises not letting the sun go down on your anger. But trying to work through a problem when you're tired and stressed won't get you anywhere, says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, psychologist and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription 3 for Happiness. "Agree to disagree for now, and to revisit the issue when you're rested."
　　这句话出自何处？原来，这句话可追溯到《圣经》，书上建议太阳落山后就不要生气了。但如果你试着在很累、压力很大的时候解决问题，那么肯定不会有什么进展的，伊丽莎白?隆巴尔多博士说道，她也是一位心理学家，同时还是《快乐的你：你快乐的终极处方》一书的作者。“暂时同意意见不一致，等休息好了再来解决问题。”
　　应该打破的结婚常规.jpg
　　2. Always be 100% honest.
　　2. 总是百分百诚实。
　　In marriage, no-holds-barred honesty is not always the best policy. For example, "you don't need to share details of past relationships," says Bartlein. "That invites comparisons, and when you compare, someone comes up short." The bottom line: You need to be polite and caring when it comes to your partner's feelings.
　　在婚姻中，毫无顾忌的诚实并不总是最好的做法。例如，“过往恋情的细节就不要和对方说了，”巴特琳说道。“细说过往会带来比较，当你比较的时候，某人就会伤心了。”底线：当触及另一半的感受时，你需要表现得彬彬有礼、还要呵护她/他。
　　3. You should never sleep in separate beds.
　　3. 永远都不要分床睡。
　　Um, snore much? It's a myth that couples always sleep better and more cozily together than apart. One partner may be a toss-and-turner, or one may hit the hay early while the other keeps a reading light burning till the wee hours. So if one of you occasionally decamps to the guest room, don't sweat it. "Getting a good night's sleep is crucial to the health of your mind, body and marriage," says Dr. Lombardo. Just be sure a separate-bed habit isn't about avoiding physical intimacy 4.
　　额，老是打呼噜？夫妻们在一起睡觉总比分开睡更舒服、更踏实，这一点是说不清道不明的。夫妻一方可能老是翻身，又或是一方看书直到凌晨而另一方早已呼呼大睡。所以如果偶尔有人去客房睡觉，那就别担心了。“晚上睡个好觉对你的身心和婚姻都至关重要，”隆巴尔多博士说道。但一定要确保分床睡并不是为了逃避身体亲密。
　　4. Boring is bad.
　　4. 无聊就糟糕了。
　　The problem with this so-called rule, says Bartlein, is when couples confuse a calm, predictable union with a bad one. "Better to have a safe, relaxed, 'boring' life together in the everyday. You can always inject excitement with vacations and activities."
　　巴特琳说这一所谓规则的问题就在于：夫妻有时会将可预测的平静时光误以为是件糟糕的事。“最好每天都一起度过安全、放松、‘无聊’的时光。这样出去度假或参加活动时，你们就总能激动不已啦。”