2008年ESL之人际交往 06 Feeling Lonely

06 Feeling Lonely

GLOSSARY 2

lonely – with the sad feeling of being alone, solitary 3, and isolated 4, without otherpeople* Sometimes it can be lonely to live in an apartment by yourself, but at least youdon’t have to deal with roommates!

to strike up a new friendship – to begin a new friendship; to begin being friendswith someone* Tamara is able to strike up new friendships very easily, but her sister is shy andit takes her more time.

sociable 5 – very friendly and outgoing, enjoying spending time with other people * Suwelo is very sociable and always has at least three parties to go to eachweekend.

lasting 6 friendship – a friendship that lasts for a very long time, perhaps all ofone’s life* Zoe has a lasting friendship with her best friend from first grade and now, thirty years later, they still see each other every week.

lone 1 wolf – a person who likes to be alone more than with other people; aperson who does not enjoy spending time with other people* Albert is a lone wolf who prefers reading books and listening to music in his room instead of going out with friends.

out on (one’s) own – independent; without financial and/or other support fromother people; alone* Many Americans go out on their own when they are 18 years old and areconsidered adults.

solitary – alone; isolated; without other people* All of Becky’s friends went to the beach, but she had to stay home, so she hada very solitary weekend in town.

to yearn 7 – to want something very much; to long for something* Some of our best students genuinely yearn for knowledge.

to people-watch – to go to a public place and watch the people passing by,noting how they are dressed, how they act, and what they say* We like to people-watch in New York City’s Times Square because there are somany different types of people there!

to hang out – to spend time with someone in a relaxed, unstructured way* Do you want to hang out with us on Saturday, or do you already have plans?

arm-in-arm – walking with arms linked; walking with one’s arm bent 8 at the elbowso that another person’s arm passes through the opening created and the twopeople are close to each other* Celinda walked arm-in-arm with her husband as they entered the room.

to break down – to get rid of something; to eliminate something; to overcomesomething* It can be very difficult to break down racial stereotypes 9.

companionship – friendship; being with someone whom one likes; not beingalone; having friends* Some older people like to live in group homes because they enjoy thecompanionship of other people their own age.

camaraderie 10 – the feeling of friendship among a group of people who spendtime together* At first, the business students didn’t know each other, but within a few weeksthey had developed a strong sense of camaraderie.

rapport 11 – easy communication, good understanding, and friendliness 12 betweenand among people* Do you have a better rapport with your math or English professor?

to dread 13 – to fear something that is going to happen in the future; to be worriedor anxious about something that might happen* As summer vacation ended, Hannah dreaded 14 going back to school.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS1.  What would a “lone wolf” enjoy doing?

a)  Striking up new friendships.

b)  Doing solitary things.

c)  Hanging out with friends.

2.  Why did he dread the weekends?

a)  Because he wanted to do solitary things.

b)  Because he enjoyed people watching.

c)  Because he didn’t want to be alone.

______________WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

out on one's own The phrase “out on (one's) own,” in this podcast, means without financial and/orother support from other people: “How old were you when you moved out on yourown for the first time?”  The phrase “to make something (one’s) own” means tochange something a little bit so that it seems to belong to oneself: “The band tooka famous Beatles song and made it their own by changing the speed and words.” The phrase “for one’s own good” means for one’s benefit or disadvantage: “Sheis too honest for her own good.  She should learn to keep some things secret.”

Finally, the phrase “on one’s own” means alone: “If you aren’t able to do it onyour own, just ask for help.”

to break downIn this podcast, the phrase “to break down” means to eliminate or overcomesomething: “That organization is trying to break down educational barriers by making sure that every student has a computer.”  The phrase “to break down”

also means for a machine, especially a car, to stop working: “The car broke downon the freeway.”  When talking about people, “to break down” means to losecontrol of one’s emotions: “The woman broke down and began crying in thestore.”  The phrase “to have a nervous breakdown 15” means to completely losecontrol of one’s emotions and/or become crazy: “I think I’m going to have anervous breakdown if I continue working here!”  Finally, the phrase “to break (something) down” can mean to analyze 16 something, splitting 17 it into its smallerparts: “Let’s try to break this problem down to make it more manageable.”

CULTURE NOTEAs described in this podcast, sometimes it can be difficult to “meet people” (makenew friends) in a new city.  Fortunately, there are many things that you can dowhen you are new to an American city to try to “interact” (speak with) with otherpeople.

The Internet can be a good way to meet people.  For example, one website,www.meetup.com, helps “match” (find similarities among) people with otherpeople who have similar interests.  Of course, you need to be careful whenmeeting people online, making sure that you physically 18 meet them in a public place for your own safety.

Another good way to meet people is through sports.  You can join an exerciseclass at a “gym” (a place where people exercise), “sign up” (register) for tennis classes, or join a running group or cycling club.  You can even train for a majorsporting event, like a “marathon” (a long-distance running race).

“Enrolling” (beginning to participate in something) in a course can also be a goodway to meet people.  Many people enjoy “culinary” (cooking) classes,photography classes, or other courses in “community colleges” (two-yearcolleges with classes not necessarily for academic degrees).  Dance classes canalso be good ways to meet people, especially when the dancers are asked to“change partners” (dance with people other than those with whom they came).

Of course, you can also meet people through work.  Many businesses andorganizations organize sports teams for their employees, especially for volleyballand “softball” (a sport similar to baseball).

Whatever you are most interested in, try to find a way to begin doing it with otherpeople.  “In no time at all” (in a very short period of time), you will begin makingfriends in the new city.

______________Comprehension Questions Correct Answers:  1 – b; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPTWelcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 361: FeelingLonely.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 19 361.  I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Our website is eslpod.com – that’s www.eslpod.com.  If you go there, you candownload a Learning Guide for this episode that contains all of the informationyou need to help you improve your English even faster, including all of thevocabulary, definitions, cultural notes, comprehension questions, and a completetranscript of everything we say on this episode.

This episode is called “Feeling Lonely.”  “To be lonely” is to be sad because youare by yourself; you are alone, there is no one else with you.  Let’s get started.

[start of story]

Moving to a new city can be a lonely experience.  When I first moved to Los Angeles, I didn’t know anyone and it was hard to strike up new friendships.  I’m apretty sociable person, but it’s still hard meeting new people and even harder tomake lasting friendships.

I’ve never been a lone wolf, so being in a new city out on my own was a newexperience.  Sometimes I liked doing solitary things, but after awhile, I yearned 20 tobe around other people.  I would go to busy places to people-watch.  I would seefamilies walking by, groups of friends hanging out together, and couples arm-inarm, and wished I was walking along with them.  When you’re feeling lonely, itsometimes feels like there’s a wall between you and everyone else, a wall that’s not easy to break down.

Slowly, I started to meet people at my new job and to see them outside of work. Having this companionship and camaraderie, especially with people I had a goodrapport with, was a welcomed change.  In time, I made some good friends and Ino longer dreaded the weekends.  But, I’ve never forgotten how hard it was inthose first months to be a stranger in a new place!

[end of story]

Our story begins by me saying, “Moving to a new city can be a lonely experience.”  We’ve already explained “lonely” as feeling alone, by yourself. When I first moved to Los Angeles – and this is a true story – I didn’t knowanyone and it was hard to strike up new friendships.  “To strike up something”

means to begin something.  “To strike up a conversation” means to start talkingto another person, to begin a conversation.  “To strike up a new friendship”

means to begin a new friendship, to become friends with someone.  When youdon’t know anyone, it’s hard to strike up new friendships.

I say that I’m a pretty sociable person.  Someone who is “sociable” is very friendly, likes spending time with other people; very “outgoing,” we might say. But it’s still hard meeting new people and even harder to make lastingfriendships.  Something that is “lasting” is something that goes on for a long time,endures for a long time.  A “friendship” is, of course, when you are friends withanother person.  So, a “lasting friendship” is when you are friends with someonefor very long time.

I say that I’ve never been a lone wolf.  The expression “lone wolf” (two words) is a person who likes to be alone more than to be with other people.  A “wolf” is actually an animal, but the expression “lone wolf” refers to someone who likes tobe by themselves.  Well, I am not to a lone wolf, so being in a new city out on my own was a new experience.  When we say you are “out on your own,” we meanthat you are independent; you are no longer being supported by other people. Many college students live with their parents, or their parents pay for theireducation and their housing, and then they go out on their own.  They find a joband they live in their own apartment, and so forth 21.  I was actually out on my ownback in Minnesota before I moved to Los Angeles, but I was also on my own herein LA when I first moved here back in 1991.

I say that sometimes I like to do solitary things.  “Solitary” (solitary) means alone,isolated, without other people.  There’s a card game called “Solitary,” that youcan play by yourself, because it requires only one person.  If you are in prison –in jail – and you do something wrong or they think you’re a very dangerous prisoner, they will sometimes put you into “solitary confinement,” which means you are in a place all by yourself, with no other prisoners.

“After awhile,” I continue, “I yearned to be around other people.”  “To yearn”

(yearn) means to desire or to want something very much.  We might also use theexpression “to long for.”  “To long for” is a two-word phrasal verb meaning toreally desire something, to really want something.  

I would go to busy places to people-watch.  “People-watching” means just what itsays, you go to a public place, a mall or someplace where there are a lot ofpeople walking by, and you look at them, how they act, how they’re dressed,perhaps what they are talking about.  That’s “to people-watch.”  Here in Los Angeles, most people drive cars from one place to another.  Even if it doesn’ttake very long to walk they’ll still drive, so there are not a lot of places you can goto people-watch, where people are actually walking down the street.  It’s very different from many big cities such as New York, where everyone walks,especially in downtown, or in Manhattan.  But here in Los Angeles, there are notthat many places where people actually walk around.

I say that I would see families walking by, groups of friends hanging out together,and couples arm-in-arm.  “To hang out” is an informal two-word phrasal verbmeaning to spend time with someone in a very relaxed way, not to have any specific plans.  So, I saw groups of friends hanging out together, and couples arm-in-arm.  “Arm-in-arm” means walking with your arms linked, or connected. The other person is holding onto your arm.  I would see couples, men andwomen, walking arm-in-arm.

I wished that I was walking along with them.  You can also say, here, “I wished Iwere walking along with them.”  In formal English grammar, “were” is consideredcorrect.  However in daily conversation, it is very common and completely acceptable 22 to say “was” in this case.

When you’re feeling lonely, it sometimes feels like there is a wall between youand everyone else, a wall that’s not easy to break down.  “To break down” is atwo-word phrasal verb meaning to get rid of something, to eliminate something. “To break down” has a couple of different meanings; once again, take a look atour Learning Guide for some additional explanations.

“Slowly,” I say, “I started to meet people at my new job and to see them (to goout with them) outside of work.  Having this companionship and camaraderie was a welcomed change.”  “Companionship,” here, means basically the same as friendship, being with someone that you like, not being alone.  “Camaraderie”

means the feeling of friendship among a group of people who spend timetogether.  “Camaraderie” is when you get along well with the people around you;they are your good friends.  So, I say that having companionship andcamaraderie, especially with people I had a good rapport with, was a “welcomed”

change – a good change.  “Rapport” (rapport), notice the “t” is not pronounced,means a good understanding, friendliness between and among people.  Whenyou have easy communication with someone, you have good “rapport” with them.

In time – meaning over time, after a while – I made some good friends and I nolonger dreaded the weekends.  “To dread” (dread) means to fear something thatis going to happen in the future, to be worried about something that mighthappen.  I used to dread the weekends probably because you are used to beingwith friends and family on your weekend days and nights, and so if you arealone, you feel even more lonely because you don’t have anyone to spend yourtime with.  And that was certainly true for me the first year or two that I lived inLos Angeles; I used to dread the weekends.

Well, I no longer dread the weekends.  I hope you don’t dread listening to ESLPodcast, where we’re always here for you!

Now let’s listen to the story, this time at a normal speed.

[start of story]

Moving to a new city can be a lonely experience.  When I first moved to Los Angeles, I didn’t know anyone and it was hard to strike up new friendships.  I’m apretty sociable person, but it’s still hard meeting new people and even harder tomake lasting friendships.

I’ve never been a lone wolf, so being in a new city out on my own was a newexperience.  Sometimes I liked doing solitary things, but after awhile, I yearned tobe around other people.  I would go to busy places to people-watch.  I would seefamilies walking by, groups of friends hanging out together, and couples arm-inarm, and wished I was walking along with them.  When you’re feeling lonely, itsometimes feels like there’s a wall between you and everyone else, a wall that’s not easy to break down.

Slowly, I started to meet people at my new job and to see them outside of work. Having this companionship and camaraderie, especially with people I had a goodrapport with, was a welcomed change.  In time, I made some good friends and Ino longer dreaded the weekends.  But, I’ve never forgotten how hard it was inthose first months to be a stranger in a new place!

[end of story]

The script for this episode was written by the sociable Dr. Lucy Tse. From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan.  Thank you for listening.  We’llsee you next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan.  This podcast is copyright 2008.