环球英语 12 Being Perfect

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Hello. I’m Marina Santee.

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And I’m Elizabeth Lickiss. Welcome to Spotlight 1. This programme uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.

Song: (It’s Got To Be) Perfect

It has got to be perfect.

It has got to be worth it

Too many people take second best

Well, I will not take anything less

It has got to be perfect.

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‘Perfect’ - a song from 1988 sung by ‘Fairground Attraction’. The group sings of relationships and of mistakes in the past. And they sing that this new relationship will be perfect! Today we look at being perfect! And we ask the question - can anything be too perfect?

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Mrs Smith returned from work. Her husband met her at the door. He kissed her. She could hear running water upstairs. Ah, Mr Smith had remembered that she felt tired when she came home. So, he was preparing a nice hot bath. Mrs Smith went upstairs to rest in the hot water. The children were in bed asleep. The house was clean. Mr Smith prepared a lovely dinner. They sat down to eat together. Her husband told her how beautiful she looked. Mrs Smith looked at her husband with a happy smile. Then, she turned her head - and woke up. It was of course, a dream.

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Many of us dream about perfection 2. To be perfect is to be without any failings! We may dream of the perfect ideal 3 job. We may dream of living in a beautiful new house. We may desire a perfect body. Or, we may dream of having a perfect husband or wife. Most of us know that being perfect is not really possible. But some people find this harder to accept than others. We call such people ‘perfectionists’.

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English uses the word ‘perfectionist’ in two ways - one good, one bad. We call some sports people ‘perfectionists.’ They work hard for the best possible result. They try to perform perfectly 4 in a competition. People say that artist Michelangelo was a perfectionist. Maybe this quality helped him create some of his masterpieces 5, his beautiful art. And we depend on some perfectionist’s high expectations! For example, we would want a heart doctor to perform perfectly on our hearts. A small mistake could result in death! These kinds of perfectionists have high expectations. They aim to succeed in life. But mostly, they know their limits. Many of us would like some of the qualities from this kind of perfectionist!

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But the other kind of perfectionist describes someone with a real problem. We may call them ‘extreme 6 perfectionists.’ These kinds of perfectionists cannot accept any kind of mistakes. They set impossible goals for themselves. And, they can feel useless when they do not meet these goals. Doctor Rachel Naomi Remen was one of these people. She is now a ‘recovering perfectionist.’ She said that she was never satisfied 7 with what she did. It was just never good enough! Her expectations for herself and others were just too high. She said,

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‘I am a recovering perfectionist. Before I began recovering, whatever I did was never good enough. It was the same for people around me. I sat in judgment 8 on life itself. Perfectionism is the belief that life is broken.’

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Doctor Paul Hewitt works 9 at the University of British Columbia in Canada. He has studied perfectionism. He says that there are different kinds. Self-perfectionism is the kind that people usually think of. This is when a person requires him or herself to be perfect. Another kind is when the perfectionist expects other people to be perfect. A third kind relates to social conditions. The perfectionist believes that other people require him or her to be perfect. And there is a fourth kind. This is when a person feels the need to appear perfect to others.

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These beliefs put great pressure on the perfectionist. An extreme perfectionist will never reach his own high expectations. His best will never be good enough. And this can lead to a lifetime 10 of felt failures. A perfectionist may feel unworthy for life.

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But there is some good news, says Rachel Naomi Remen. She has studied the health of the mind and the body for many years. She says that no one is born a perfectionist. So, this means 11 that recovery 12 is possible! She is a ‘perfect’ example!

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Like many things, change begins in the mind. The University of Illinois, in the United 13 States, suggests some methods to help change thinking. It gives this advice for the extreme perfectionist:

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First, understand that extreme perfectionism is not desirable 14! It is not possible to be perfect!

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Set goals that are possible!

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Understand that the world will continue, even if you are not perfect! Everything will not just end because you make one mistake.

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Think about the process, not just the end result!

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When you feel worried and depressed 15, ask yourself this: Have I created impossible goals and expectations for myself in this situation?

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Ask yourself, ‘What is the worst thing that could happen?’

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Think of a recent mistake you have made. List all the things you can learn from it.

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Finally, the university says,

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Try these suggestions. You will see that perfectionism is not a necessary influence in your life. There are other ways to think that are more helpful. You are more likely to succeed without your perfectionism. And you will feel better about yourself in the process.

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Looking at life in a more real way does not mean that you have to stop trying your best! It simply means accepting what your best is. It is possible to have high expectations. It is possible to work to your best ability. And it is possible to accept yourself at the same time!

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Cindy Russell is another recovering perfectionist. She knows that a healthy balance is important. She says,

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‘God wants us to work towards perfection. He understands when we are not perfect. There is forgiveness’.

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In most people’s minds God is perfect. This makes us wonder how people can ever connect with God! Many religions encourage people to try to be perfect - to get closer to God. Christian 17 belief is different. When someone becomes a Christian they accept that they will never be perfect! Their connection with God is through Jesus Christ 16, who is perfect. They believe that his life and death brings them forgiveness. This makes them acceptable 18 to God. They become perfect in His eyes through Jesus Christ.