英语口语教程(高级) UNIT 17

[00:01.00]Lesson 17;

[00:00.87]Read;

[00:01.61]4.A group date   differs from a   traditional date   in several ways.;

[00:06.84]First,there are no special relationships in the group.;

[00:12.12]No particular girl and boy are together all the time.;

[00:18.18]Second,the group date may occur on a weekend,;

[00:23.07]but it may not be planned in advance.;

[00:27.37]A group of young people may decide on Saturday afternoon;

[00:32.65]that they want to spend Saturday evening together.;

[00:36.56]They may all decide to go to a movie,or to some other event.;

[00:42.81]On a group date,no one is paired with anyone else.;

[00:48.29]As a result,every person pays for his or her own expenses.;

[00:55.91]This means that the girls must pay for themselves.;

[01:01.59]They must pay their own admission for the movies,for a cup of coffee,;

[01:07.65]or for anything else that costs money during the date.;

[01:12.73]Many young people find the group date to he a great deal of fun.;

[01:18.99]The young men on a group date are under no pressure.;

[01:24.27]They do not have to be with any particular girl during the evening.;

[01:30.33]They do not have to pay for anyone but themselves.;

[01:34.83]They do not have to be especially polite or formal during the date.;

[01:40.30]Everyone can relax and have a good time.;

[01:45.58]Group dates may lead to serious relationships;

[01:49.88]for some members of the group.;

[01:52.23]Maybe a girl and boy on a group date find that they have a lot in common;

[01:59.14]and enjoy being together.;

[02:02.00]They may spend more time together,with the group,and with each other.;

[02:08.26]But usually,everyone on a group date is just interested in a good time.;

[02:15.50]No one worries about a serious relationship.;

[02:20.58]The group date may be good for very young people.;

[02:25.86]They may not know what kind of person they like.;

[02:30.16]They may like to spend their time with many different people.;

[02:35.44]But it also does not give young people a chance to have a serious relationship;

[02:42.48]A serious relationship can help a young person in many ways.;

[02:49.13]A person may learn what is good and what is bad about a serious relationship;

[02:56.56]Usually,in dating,;

[02:59.49]young people find out what kind of person they would like to marry.;

[03:04.96]If a young person always goes on group dates,there is no chance to find out.;

[03:12.39]As we can see,group dates have their good points and their drawbacks.;

[03:19.63]The group date is very different from the traditional date don't you think?;

[03:26.28]Young people in the United States today;

[03:29.99]enjoy both of these types of relationships.;

[03:33.71]Traditional dating relationships give young people a chance;

[03:38.92]to get to know one another quite well.;

[03:42.90]Group dates give young people;

[03:46.02]a chance to get to know many other young people;

[03:49.93]and to have a more relaxed evening.;

[03:53.26]Both kinds of dates have their good points.;

[03:57.56]The group date is a relatively new idea among young people.;

[04:03.03]It seems to be popular for the reasons described here.;

[04:08.71]5.Courtship Customs;

[04:14.38]Did you know that most British couples first meet at a dance?;

[04:21.02]that in some parts of Africa men pay for their wives with cows?;

[04:28.06]that in Germany you can advertise for a partner on television?;

[04:34.52]that in Britain girls can propose in Leap Year;

[04:39.99](1976,1980 and every fourth year following)?;

[04:46.64]that in the USA boys and girls start dating very young,as young as 12。;

[04:56.41]6.Marriage:East and   West;

[05:03.84]"I believe,"said Dr.Samuel Johnson in the eighteenth century,;

[05:10.49]"that marriages would in general be as happy,;

[05:14.21]and often more so, if they were all made by the Lord Chancellor,;

[05:19.88]upon a due consideration of the characters and circumstances,;

[05:24.77]without the partners having any choice in the matter.";

[05:30.04]We are bound to acknowledge,;

[05:32.98]after a careful study of the methods of mate selection in the East and West,;

[05:39.24]that the great Dr.Johnson was probably perfectly right,;

[05:45.10]From one extreme to the other,;

[05:48.03]four patterns of mate selection may be distinguished.;

[05:52.34]1.Selection by the  parents-- the young  people themselves  not consulted.;

[06:01.52]This is the traditional method employed in the East.;

[06:06.41]When the choice is carefully and wisely made,it is usually a good one.;

[06:13.84]But it is open to the grave errors caused by ignorance and exploitation.;

[06:20.88]2.Selection by the   parents,but the   young people   consulted.;

[06:29.09]This is an improvement on the first method,;

[06:33.40]provided the young people are allowed to make the final decision.;

[06:38.28]In some communities, though they are formally consulted,;

[06:44.15]they are expected to accept the choice made for them,;

[06:48.26]and have no real freedom to express their minds.;

[06:52.95]3.Selection by the   young people,but   parental approval   necessary.;

[07:01.36]This pattern exhibits at least two forms.;

[07:06.25]The strictest is the one in which no action may be taken by the young people;

[07:12.70]until they have been given parental permission to proceed.;

[07:17.78]A good example is the early American Quaker father in the eighteenth century,;

[07:25.02]who was approached by a neighbour's son John;

[07:28.34]asking his permission to court his daughter Sarah.;

[07:33.23]Unless John was approved by Sarah's father in the first place,;

[07:38.51]no further step could be taken.;

[07:42.22]But even if her father approved of John,;

[07:46.33]Sarah still had the right to refuse him.;

[07:50.63]The other variation is where Sarah could encourage John's attentions;

[07:56.89]without seeking her father's permission;;

[08:00.41]but if she and John became serious,;

[08:03.93]her father's appro -val was essential before marriage could take place.;

[08:09.79]If he used his veto, she had to give up John--or elope!;

[08:17.03]4.Selection by the   young people-the   parents not   consulted.;

[08:24.85]This is the method which is becoming widespread in the West today.;

[08:30.91]The couple may be living away from home,;

[08:34.43]and unable to consult their parents.;

[08:37.95]But even when the parents are formally consulted,;

[08:42.44]all too often their agreement is a mere formality.;

[08:47.72]They know that,even if they raise objections,;

[08:52.02]the marriage is likely to take place anyway.;

[08:56.33]Which of these methods is most desirable?;

[09:01.02]We would reject the first.;

[09:04.54]Even if it is efficient,;

[09:07.67]we believe it denies to young people a freedom that should be theirs by right.;

[09:14.51]This is the position being widely adopted in the East today.;

[09:19.98]We would also reject the last.;

[09:24.29]Young people should not be dominated by their parents in this matter.;

[09:29.76]But neither should their parents be left entirely out of the picture.;

[09:35.63]The experience of parents can often correct and restrain the headstrong;

[09:41.88]and distorted choices of inexperienced youth.;

[09:46.58]The kind of freedom young people in the West today are demanding;

[09:51.92]is unreasonable, and undesirable in their own best interests.;

[09:58.31]The desirable ideal, we believe,;

[10:02.02]is a cooperative selection by young people and parents together.;

[10:07.30]This may not always be easily achieved.;

[10:11.41]But it is worth the effort that may be needed.;

[10:16.10]It creates unity in the family.;

[10:19.62]It balances out the intense feelings of youth;

[10:23.73]against the detached judgement of more mature experience.;

[10:28.81]It offers,we believe the best basis for successful marriages;

[10:35.07]--especially if backed by scientific knowledge accumulated;

[10:39.56]by study and research.;

[10:42.50]At the present time, the East is moving steadily towards the ideal of cooperation;

[10:49.93]between parents and young people.;

[10:53.06]But the West is moving further away from it,;

[10:56.97]as young people increasingly ignore their parents' opinions.;

[11:02.25]However,there is some compensation in the fact that the result of study;

[11:08.63]and research concerning the criteria of good mate selection;

[11:13.20]are being made available increasingly to Western youth.;

[11:18.67]7.Marry -- for What?;

[11:24.54]I'm afraid it is in the nature of an agony aunt's job;

[11:29.82]that she is more concerned with failures than with triumphs.;

[11:34.70]Nevertheless,these past years,;

[11:38.81]I've also noticed something of the pattern;

[11:41.74]that leads to success in married life.;

[11:45.85]I've seen,for instance,;

[11:48.59]that making a marriage work begins long before making a marriage.;

[11:55.04]It begins with a girl who thinks less about marriage;

[11:59.54]than girls have traditionally done,;

[12:02.27]and more about herself in relationship to work and to her community;

[12:09.12]The very first trick to a happy marriage;

[12:12.83]is to become a person of independence and pride;

[12:17.33]who does not imagine a husband is necessary;

[12:21.44]to make her magically complete.;

[12:24.37]Whenever I get a letter from a woman who says she "cannot live without";

[12:30.62]the man who is breaking her heart,;

[12:33.17]I am compelled to tell her that successful partnerships;

[12:38.25]are not between those who cannot live with out each other,;

[12:42.75]but between those who can live with each other.;

[12:46.66]There is no room even in daydreams for the stupid idea;

[12:52.33]that there is on earth only one mate intended for another.;

[12:58.00]To my surprise;

[13:00.15]I have found this antique misconception is still alive;

[13:04.65]and it creates a lazy superstition;

[13:07.97]that has caused more than one marriage to fail.;

[13:12.47]How can anyone who believes her union was "meant to be",;

[13:18.14]not equally believe it was "not meant to be" at the first sign of trouble?;

[13:24.39]Whether or not a marriage was "meant to be" is beside the point;;

[13:30.65]it is and therefore it requires patience and protection.;

[13:37.89]Passion is great outside marriage, but not so hot inside it.;

[13:44.34]So why do we marry? For love. Oh yes. Friendship?;

[13:50.99]Certainly. Children.;

[13:53.53]Why not?Money? Dodgy. Fun?;

[13:58.61]Never,For most young people--and a lot of older ones-;

[14:05.06]-marriage is the first adult commitment,;

[14:08.38]and if it is to succeed it must be undertaken in an adult way.;

[14:14.12]It isn't a bad idea for engaged couples;

[14:18.31]to write out the sort of contract;

[14:20.94]any other working partnership would demand,;

[14:24.36]specifying how many children they want to have and when,;

[14:29.11]where they will live how they will divide household duties,;

[14:34.70]which in-laws might become liabilities and what to do about them,;

[14:41.06]how much money will be coming in,as well as precisely how it will go out.;

[14:47.52]I don't pretend any couple would abide by such a contract,;

[14:53.31]but simply in drawing it up;

[14:56.15]they would find out a great deal about each other's;

[14:59.72]unromantic expectations,;

[15:02.15]for these not sex or fidelity or love--are the real marriage wreckers.;

[15:09.39]It is alarming, for instance,;

[15:12.23]how many women race into a lifelong contract with a man;

[15:16.78]whose income and earning power they do not know.;

[15:21.07]Do they still expect Daddy to find out for them?;

[15:25.78]Of course,there is only one way to treat any problem inside marriage,;

[15:32.19]sexual or otherwise, and it is the way to treat all the other problems:;

[15:38.18]talk to each other.;

[15:40.56]But how many times has a woman written to me -;

[15:44.44]-a complete stranger of a deep misery that she could not tell her husband,;

[15:50.28]or that she failed even to catch his attention?;

[15:54.57]There must arrive an ugly moment between every husband and wife;

[16:00.36]maybe it's a quarrel or a disappointment or a hurt-;

[16:05.27]-and if that moment drops without discussion and sinks into brooding;

[16:10.91]or resentment,;

[16:12.25]then it will be the seed that comes in the end to bear bitter fruit.;

[16:17.99]Admittedly,it is largely women who write to me;

[16:23.21]and I do see marriage from a woman's point of view.;

[16:26.94]But in this freezing of communication,;

[16:30.40]I think it is often men:who are the culprits.;

[16:34.38]Men must talk about their feelings;

[16:37.90]and men must respect the validity of women's feelings,;

[16:42.96]or their marriages become just a way of getting their shirts ironed.;

[16:48.81]When agony aunts like me talk about "working at a marriage",;

[16:54.59]listening is what we mean.;

[16:57.49]Listening is hard work,;

[17:00.54]especially when it is to something we would rather not hear.;

[17:05.92]There is no such thing as a marriage of convenience.;

[17:10.00]Marriage is a cumbersome, inconvenient alliance;

[17:15.27]but it is the only way we have of making families;

[17:19.62]and therefore anyone who undertakes it has a responsibility to it.;

[17:25.72]Part of the wife's responsibility is never,;

[17:30.01]never to expect more from "us" than she expects from herself.;

[17:36.83]Lesson 18 Should Women Be Treated the Same as Men?;

[17:44.85]Text;

[17:47.22]For Women,There Is a Long Way to Go;

[17:52.29]One-third of the people at work in Britain are women.;

[17:58.18]By 1975 they will,by law,be on a footing of equal pay with men.;

[18:06.20]Their prospects of reaching the top, however,are still far from equal.;

[18:13.23]A recently-published study called Women in Top jobs;

[18:18.81]examines why this should be so.;

[18:22.69]For the purposes of this study four researchers,two men and two women,;

[18:29.72]chose women in top management in two business organizations;

[18:34.74]and women in senior jobs in the BBC and the Civil Service.;

[18:40.94]In their findings they found that although there are conventional;

[18:46.01]and entrenched attitudes on both sides,;

[18:49.52]there is a widespread awareness;

[18:52.11]that no society can afford not to utilize ability.;

[18:57.85]The studies confirm that there is no basic difference;

[19:02.86]between the standards and quality of work performance of women;

[19:07.31]who have reached top jobs and those of men in similar! positions.;

[19:13.72]Nevertheless,;

[19:16.04]there emerged some distinctive factors in the performance of women in top jobs;

[19:23.13]Women were less interested in empire-building,in office politics,;

[19:29.49]in status symbols.;

[19:31.92]8 They are likely to   be less forceful   and competitive   than men.;

[19:38.33]In the past,women tended to assume;

[19:42.52]they would be overtaken by men in the race to the top.;

[19:46.65]However,today's young women are far less philosophical about their status;

[19:53.47]and are more aggressive in their resentment at being treated;

[19:57.82]as in some way inferior to men.;

[20:01.13]On the other hand,;

[20:03.61]since lack of drive is one of the criticisms leveled against women,;

[20:08.93]perhaps this aggression is a positive advantage.;

[20:13.22]Some young women, though,;

[20:15.55]find it very difficult to come to terms with the feeling;

[20:19.79]that characteristics of authority;

[20:22.27]which are acceptable in men are often not acceptable in women.;

[20:28.73]A reason often advanced for women failing to reach the top;

[20:33.80]is their desire for balance between work and a life outside work.;

[20:39.59]Employers know this and tend,;

[20:42.90]when a woman with young children applies for promotion,;

[20:47.35]to treat the fact that she has young children as an important factor and;

[20:53.65]given the choice,are more likely to give promotion to a man than to her.;

[21:00.68]What about women whose children are almost grown up?;

[21:05.34]Well,the writers of the study recommend a much more positive approach;

[21:11.80]by employers to women who want to return to their careers;

[21:16.35]after their children are off their hands.;

[21:21.00]2.Read;

[21:25.24]Read the following passages.;

[21:28.29]Underline the important viewpoints while reading.;

[21:33.56]1.What Women's Lib   Is about;

[21:39.10]Women's Lib is short for the Women's Liberation Movement;

[21:45.35]which got its name in America some years ago.;

[21:49.80]Its supporters demand their freedom and equality with men.;

[21:55.85]In this dialogue Sheila believes in Women's Lib;

[22:00.76]while Harry has his doubts.;

[22:04.12]Harry:I've never understood what this Women's Lib business is all about.;

[22:10.17]I can understand women in some countries struggling for their rights.;

[22:16.01]But it strikes me that here in Britain women have already got as much freedom;

[22:22.27]as they could possibly want.;

[22:24.49]They've got the vote they can go to university,;

[22:28.52]they can compete with men in the professions on equal terms...;

[22:33.02]Sheila: Rubbish!   You're fooling   yourself.;

[22:36.38]How many women members of Parliament are there?;

[22:39.95]About 30 out of 635. How many women company directors?;

[22:47.70]How many trade union leaders? How many judges?;

[22:52.36]Harry: Not many, I   agree.But why is   that?;

[22:56.96]Maybe their talents don't lie in those directions.;

[23:01.20]Perhaps they prefer to be housewives.;

[23:04.30]Sheila:Prefer to be   housewives?;

[23:07.35]You can't have any idea what it's like,;

[23:10.55]when you've been married fifteen years;

[23:13.14]and you've cleaned a house every day;;

[23:15.88]then your husband and kids come along and mess it all up again.;

[23:20.17]Can you imagine the monotony,the boredom the frustration?;

[23:25.34]Harry:Oh yes,I can   imagine it easily   enough.;

[23:29.42]But don't forget that a lot of men have equally boring jobs;

[23:34.70]and less freedom to do them their own way.;

[23:38.21]But that's beside the point;the real point is that most housewives,;

[23:44.47]in my experience,are content to be housewives.;

[23:48.91]Take my wife Jane, for example.;

[23:51.86]She's not bored or frustrated;she finds her life quite satisfying;;

[23:58.01]she cleans,cooks, gardens...;

[24:00.96]Sheila:Oh I'm aware   of that.;

[24:03.18]That's because over the centuries men have trained;

[24:07.32]and educated women to consider themselves inferior;

[24:11.87]and to accept their position.;

[24:14.71]It isn't just the men who are prejudiced against the women.;

[24:19.42]The women have become prejudiced against themselves;

[24:23.86]They believe they really are inferior.;

[24:27.38]Harry:You mean   they've been conditioned to accept an inferior position;

[24:32.96]Sheila:Exactly;   they've been   brainwashed.;

[24:36.74]It's the job of the Women's Lib movement to open their eyes;

[24:41.23]to the way they have been fooled and dominated;

[24:44.08]and exploited all these years.;

[24:46.82]Harry:So you want to  take all these nice  contented women;

[24:50.90]and make them discontent and rebellious?;

[24:54.06]Sheila:Right.;

[24:55.14]Harry:I see.Welt,I   don't accept that   the present system;

[25:00.52]is the result of conditioning or brain washing at all.;

[25:05.12]It's the natural biological function of a woman first;

[25:09.46]to bring children into the world and then to bring them up,;

[25:14.22]That is how the animals do it.;

[25:16.75]In the Stone Age, when we were cavemen;

[25:20.06]the women stayed at home in the cave and the men,being stronger and braver,;

[25:26.32]went out to hunt.;

[25:28.69]Now the men go out and earn money instead.;

[25:32.99]"The Women's Lib movement defiles woman her natural function;

[25:38.36]I'm not saying that woman's function is necessarily inferior;;

[25:43.79]but I am saying that it's not the same.;

[25:47.56]Sheila:So if   something happened   in the Stone Age   it was "natural";

[25:52.53]and so it would be perfectly right and proper and "natural" to go and do it now.;

[25:59.09]I suppose if a man thinks he wants a woman all he has to do is go out,;

[26:04.99]and knock one of the head with his club and drag her home by the hair.;

[26:09.69]Or maybe swop her with his pal for a couple of tiger-skins?;

[26:14.45]Harry:Don't be   silly.;

[26:16.15]We've grown out of that sort of barbarity.;

[26:19.00]Sheila:I should   jolly well hope   so too.;

[26:21.89]Anyway all this Stone Age stuff is a myth made up by men.;

[26:27.01]For all we know, Stone Age women were the top dogs.;

[26:31.56]Harry:All right,   let's drop the   Stone Age,;

[26:35.08]Let's come down to the modern British family.;

[26:38.54]I suppose you want to abolish it?;

[26:41.18]Sheila:No,but I want   to reorganize it;;

[26:45.05]I believe that the housework and the bringing up of the children;

[26:49.29]should be Shared equally.;

[26:51.00]Harry:How?The   husband should   wash up,   presumably.;

[26:54.72]Sheila:Of course.;

[26:55.91]Harry:Well,I do that   at my house;;

[26:58.91]and I fill up the stove and mow the lawn and dig the garden.;

[27:03.98]Sheila:Naturally.   Those are men's   jobs,anyway.;

[27:07.65]Harry:Oh!;

[27:08.67]I didn't think you believed in men's jobs' and women's jobs'.;

[27:12.51]Anyway I do quite a lot of the shopping.;

[27:15.30]Sheila:Fancy that!;

[27:16.90]Harry:And in my time   I've bathed a few   babies.;

[27:20.31]Sheila:And changed   nappies?;

[27:22.38]Harry:Both changed   them and washed   them.;

[27:25.59]Sheila:Well,all I   can say is you   must be pretty   unusual.;

[27:30.55]My husband's never touched a nappy in his life.;

[27:34.69]Harry:I wouldn't say   it was all that   unusual.;

[27:38.15]There are plenty of men in England who do the same as I do.;

[27:43.22]Maybe that's why our wives are so satisfied.;

[27:47.45]Now suppose we all did the same;

[27:50.40]and there were enough nursery schools and so on;

[27:53.56]and all the women who wanted to work could do so,;

[27:57.28]what would you say to that?;

[27:59.09]Sheila:Well..;

[28:00.23]Harry:Now suppose I   was to stay at   home and do all   the housework;

[28:04.52]and look after the children while my wife went out to work.;

[28:08.96]What would you think about that?;

[28:11.13]Sheila:I'd approve   of it.;

[28:12.89]Harry:And you'd be   willing for her to   do any job at all?;

[28:16.82]Sheila:Anything she   was strong enough   to do.;

[28:19.25]Harry:Good.;

[28:20.49]Now some time last century a law was passed;

[28:25.04]making it illegal for women to work down the coalmines.;

[28:29.54]You would like that law abolished?;

[28:32.12]Sheila:Certainly.;

[28:33.57]Harry:I hope you   won't want men to   open doors for you;

[28:37.19]and give up their seats in the bus for you.;

[28:39.77]Sheila:Of course not   as long as I'm   fit.;

[28:42.67]Harry:In fact,in   return for   equality;

[28:45.77]you would give up all these special allowances;

[28:48.61]formerly made for the so-called weaker sex?;

[28:51.87]Sheila:If I'm going   to be logical,yes.;

[28:54.72]Harry:Well,if women   are going to be   logical,that will   be progress.;