六人行FriendsMP3 3-12
时间：2019-01-01 作者：英语课 分类：六人行—第1-5季
英语课
The One With All The Jealousy 1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by: Doty Abrams
Transcribed 2 by: Eric Aasen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?
Chandler: Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.
Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Ross: Why?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird 3 cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist 4.
Ross: Oh God. Y'know, botanists 5 are such geeks.
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur 6 tie?
Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling 7 sound)
Phoebe: (entering, with about 20 purses hanging around her neck) Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles.
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos 8 in it.
Rachel: Oh.
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
Chandler: Well apparently 9 Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich? Why don't you get a magician?!
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition 10 for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Joey: What?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Joey: Who?
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Joey: The what?
Chandler: The abridgment 11.
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
[Scene: Rachel's office, Mark is training Rachel.]
Mark: ...and the style number, and the invoice 12 number, and the shipping 13 date. Good. Any questions so far?
Rachel: Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?
Mark: Twenty percent.
Rachel: Oh!! I love this job! (her phone rings) Wow! My first call.
Mark: Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross?
Mark: Ross of.....
Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.
Mark: Oh hi. It's, it's Mark.
Ross: Oh hey, hey Mark.
Mark: Hey, hold on a second.
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Hi honey!
Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?
Rachel: Oh, he's just goofing 14 around.
Ross: Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his own office?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Rachel: Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do?
Ross: What?
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)
Rachel: Ow! Ross!!
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig 15.]
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Monica: Please, I'm not going for anything.
Jeannine: Well, if you don't, I will.
Monica: Would you please go?
Jeannine: Night Mon. Night Julio.
Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.
(Monica starts wiping down the stools, as Julio follows along behind her replacing the napkin holders 16.)
Monica: Look Julio, someone left their book here.
Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Julio: I thought I would, but the translation's no good.
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Julio: Actually I ah, I am a poet.
Monica: Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about?
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Julio: I can write an epic 17 poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
[Scene: Joey's audition.]
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
Director: Lovely, just lovely.
Joey: Really? Thanks.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom 18 Kids either.
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.
Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
(phone rings)
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Monica: (entering) Hi!
Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense 19 about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent 20 beauty...
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Monica: Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?
Phoebe: Oh yeah.
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Joey: Whoa, I'm not done.
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Chandler: Bye-bye.
(Monica leaves)
Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!
Chandler: What, what, what?!
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel 21 so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.
Joey: Done.
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
Mark: (reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug 22 and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Mark: Wh-what's that?
Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.
Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
Rachel: Yes.
Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...
Quartet: (singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss.
The Bass 23 Barber: Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah.
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.
Quartet: Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross..... Ross!
Commercial Break
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
Rachel: All right Ross!! I get it!!
Ross: I mean my God...
Rachel: You're hurt!
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Ross: I would never do that!
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
[Scene: Central Perk 24, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Joey: Mark's a genius!
Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Ross: What am I going to do?
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Ross: I don't know you guys.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
[Scene: Rachel's office.]
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
Mark: (turning around) And wait, I've got something for you. (kisses her)
Woman: Mark!!
Mark: It's okay, Rachel knows.
Woman: Yeah, but even soo.
(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
(Ross is eavesdropping 25 in the hallway.)
Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!
Mark: What is going on?
Ross: What's going on?! (throws the love bug at him) That's what's going on!!
Rachel: (now standing 26 behind Ross) Ross!
(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Joey: What?!
Director: Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, (very quickly, Joey watches stunned) up, pas de bouree, pas de bouree, big turn here, grand sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands!
Joey: It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands.
Director: Have fun.
Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: What are you wrapping?
Monica: Oh-ho, look what I got Julio.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's a vase.
Monica: Yeah, just like the one in the poem.
Phoebe: Well not exactly like the one in the poem.
Monica: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her)
[Scene: The Moondance Diner.]
Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?
Julio: What?
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment 27 about me.
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Monica: You don't even know me...
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.
Monica: What?
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Monica: I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe...
Julio: No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now?
Monica: (sarcastically) Oh yeah.
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Director: All right, let's do it!
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Director: No, no, no. What was that?
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
Director: Well, people!
Joey: People, people, people.
Director: Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.
(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully 28 dressed, right?
Rachel: Right.
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Ross: (entering) Hi.
Rachel: Hello.
Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Rachel: A big idiot.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Gunther: Let it be me! Let it be me!
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Rachel: Where ya going?
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
Rachel: Ohh, with who?
Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.
Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Rachel: Sure, is she married?
Ross: Ahh, no.
Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)
Ross: Are you jealous?
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
Ross: Honey, I love you too.
Rachel: Ugh. Wait, wait, wait.
Ross: What?
(She runs over and gives him a very passionate 29 kiss.)
Ross: Huh.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Closing Credits
[Scene: The Moondance Diner.]
Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?
Julio: (to him) I am Julio.
(The rest of barbershop quartet enters, and joins him.)
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Bass Singer: No one likes a buttmunch.
Quartet: And your also bad in bedd-edd-edd!.
(Monica waves at Julio.)
End
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by: Doty Abrams
Transcribed 2 by: Eric Aasen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?
Chandler: Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.
Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Ross: Why?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird 3 cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist 4.
Ross: Oh God. Y'know, botanists 5 are such geeks.
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur 6 tie?
Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling 7 sound)
Phoebe: (entering, with about 20 purses hanging around her neck) Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles.
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos 8 in it.
Rachel: Oh.
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
Chandler: Well apparently 9 Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich? Why don't you get a magician?!
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition 10 for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Joey: What?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Joey: Who?
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Joey: The what?
Chandler: The abridgment 11.
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
[Scene: Rachel's office, Mark is training Rachel.]
Mark: ...and the style number, and the invoice 12 number, and the shipping 13 date. Good. Any questions so far?
Rachel: Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?
Mark: Twenty percent.
Rachel: Oh!! I love this job! (her phone rings) Wow! My first call.
Mark: Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross?
Mark: Ross of.....
Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.
Mark: Oh hi. It's, it's Mark.
Ross: Oh hey, hey Mark.
Mark: Hey, hold on a second.
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Hi honey!
Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?
Rachel: Oh, he's just goofing 14 around.
Ross: Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his own office?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Rachel: Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do?
Ross: What?
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)
Rachel: Ow! Ross!!
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig 15.]
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Monica: Please, I'm not going for anything.
Jeannine: Well, if you don't, I will.
Monica: Would you please go?
Jeannine: Night Mon. Night Julio.
Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.
(Monica starts wiping down the stools, as Julio follows along behind her replacing the napkin holders 16.)
Monica: Look Julio, someone left their book here.
Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Julio: I thought I would, but the translation's no good.
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Julio: Actually I ah, I am a poet.
Monica: Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about?
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Julio: I can write an epic 17 poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
[Scene: Joey's audition.]
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
Director: Lovely, just lovely.
Joey: Really? Thanks.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom 18 Kids either.
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.
Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
(phone rings)
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Monica: (entering) Hi!
Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense 19 about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent 20 beauty...
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Monica: Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?
Phoebe: Oh yeah.
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Joey: Whoa, I'm not done.
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Chandler: Bye-bye.
(Monica leaves)
Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!
Chandler: What, what, what?!
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel 21 so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.
Joey: Done.
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
Mark: (reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug 22 and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Mark: Wh-what's that?
Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.
Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
Rachel: Yes.
Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...
Quartet: (singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss.
The Bass 23 Barber: Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah.
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.
Quartet: Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross..... Ross!
Commercial Break
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
Rachel: All right Ross!! I get it!!
Ross: I mean my God...
Rachel: You're hurt!
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Ross: I would never do that!
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
[Scene: Central Perk 24, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Joey: Mark's a genius!
Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Ross: What am I going to do?
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Ross: I don't know you guys.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
[Scene: Rachel's office.]
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
Mark: (turning around) And wait, I've got something for you. (kisses her)
Woman: Mark!!
Mark: It's okay, Rachel knows.
Woman: Yeah, but even soo.
(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
(Ross is eavesdropping 25 in the hallway.)
Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!
Mark: What is going on?
Ross: What's going on?! (throws the love bug at him) That's what's going on!!
Rachel: (now standing 26 behind Ross) Ross!
(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Joey: What?!
Director: Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, (very quickly, Joey watches stunned) up, pas de bouree, pas de bouree, big turn here, grand sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands!
Joey: It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands.
Director: Have fun.
Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: What are you wrapping?
Monica: Oh-ho, look what I got Julio.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's a vase.
Monica: Yeah, just like the one in the poem.
Phoebe: Well not exactly like the one in the poem.
Monica: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her)
[Scene: The Moondance Diner.]
Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?
Julio: What?
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment 27 about me.
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Monica: You don't even know me...
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.
Monica: What?
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Monica: I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe...
Julio: No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now?
Monica: (sarcastically) Oh yeah.
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Director: All right, let's do it!
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Director: No, no, no. What was that?
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
Director: Well, people!
Joey: People, people, people.
Director: Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.
(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully 28 dressed, right?
Rachel: Right.
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Ross: (entering) Hi.
Rachel: Hello.
Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Rachel: A big idiot.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Gunther: Let it be me! Let it be me!
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Rachel: Where ya going?
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
Rachel: Ohh, with who?
Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.
Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Rachel: Sure, is she married?
Ross: Ahh, no.
Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)
Ross: Are you jealous?
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
Ross: Honey, I love you too.
Rachel: Ugh. Wait, wait, wait.
Ross: What?
(She runs over and gives him a very passionate 29 kiss.)
Ross: Huh.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Closing Credits
[Scene: The Moondance Diner.]
Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?
Julio: (to him) I am Julio.
(The rest of barbershop quartet enters, and joins him.)
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Bass Singer: No one likes a buttmunch.
Quartet: And your also bad in bedd-edd-edd!.
(Monica waves at Julio.)
End
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌
- Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
- I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。
（用不同的录音手段）转录( transcribe的过去式和过去分词 )； 改编（乐曲）（以适应他种乐器或声部）； 抄写； 用音标标出（声音）
- He transcribed two paragraphs from the book into his notebook. 他把书中的两段抄在笔记本上。
- Every telephone conversation will be recorded and transcribed. 所有电话交谈都将被录音并作全文转写。
adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的
- From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
- His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。
n.植物学家
- The botanist introduced a new species of plant to the region.那位植物学家向该地区引入了一种新植物。
- I had never talked with a botanist before,and I found him fascinating.我从没有接触过植物学那一类的学者，我觉得他说话极有吸引力。
n.植物学家，研究植物的人( botanist的名词复数 )
- Botanists had some difficulty categorizing the newly found plant. 植物学家们不大容易确定这种新发现的植物的种类。 来自辞典例句
- Botanists refer this flower to the rose family. 植物学家将这花归入蔷薇科。 来自辞典例句
n.恐龙
- Are you trying to tell me that David was attacked by a dinosaur?你是想要告诉我大卫被一支恐龙所攻击？
- He stared at the faithful miniature of the dinosaur.他凝视著精确的恐龙缩小模型。
n.保湿瓶，热水瓶
- Can I borrow your thermos?我可以借用你的暖水瓶吗？
- It's handy to have the thermos here.暖瓶放在这儿好拿。
adv.显然地；表面上，似乎
- An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
- He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
n.(对志愿艺人等的)面试(指试读、试唱等)
- I'm going to the audition but I don't expect I'll get a part.我去试音，可并不指望会给我个角色演出。
- At first,they said he was too young,but later they called him for an audition.起初，他们说他太小，但后来他们叫他去试听。
n.删节，节本
- An abridgment of the book has been published for young readers.他们为年轻读者出版了这本书的节本。
- This abridgment provides a concise presentation of this masterpiece of Buddhist literature.这个删节本提供了简明介绍佛教文学的杰作。
vt.开发票；n.发票，装货清单
- The seller has to issue a tax invoice.销售者必须开具税务发票。
- We will then send you an invoice for the total course fees.然后我们会把全部课程费用的发票寄给你。
n.船运（发货，运输，乘船）
- We struck a bargain with an American shipping firm.我们和一家美国船运公司谈成了一笔生意。
- There's a shipping charge of ￡5 added to the price.价格之外另加五英镑运输费。
v.弄糟( goof的现在分词 )；混；打发时间；出大错
- He should have been studying instead of goofing around last night. 他昨晚应该念书，不应该混。 来自走遍美国快乐40招
- Why don't you just admit you're goofing off? 偷了懒就偷了赖，还不爽爽快快承认？ 来自辞典例句
n.假发
- The actress wore a black wig over her blond hair.那个女演员戴一顶黑色假发罩住自己的金黄色头发。
- He disguised himself with a wig and false beard.他用假发和假胡须来乔装。
支持物( holder的名词复数 )； 持有者； （支票等）持有人； 支托（或握持）…之物
- Slaves were mercilessly ground down by slave holders. 奴隶受奴隶主的残酷压迫。
- It is recognition of compassion's part that leads the up-holders of capital punishment to accuse the abolitionists of sentimentality in being more sorry for the murderer than for his victim. 正是对怜悯的作用有了认识，才使得死刑的提倡者指控主张废除死刑的人感情用事，同情谋杀犯胜过同情受害者。
n.史诗，叙事诗；adj.史诗般的，壮丽的
- I gave up my epic and wrote this little tale instead.我放弃了写叙事诗，而写了这个小故事。
- They held a banquet of epic proportions.他们举行了盛大的宴会。
n.急速上升；v.突然扩大，急速上升
- The airplane's zoom carried it above the clouds.飞机的陡直上升使它飞到云层之上。
- I live near an airport and the zoom of passing planes can be heard night and day.我住在一个飞机场附近，昼夜都能听到飞机飞过的嗡嗡声。
a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的
- The general ambushed his troops in the dense woods. 将军把部队埋伏在浓密的树林里。
- The path was completely covered by the dense foliage. 小路被树叶厚厚地盖了一层。
adj.半透明的；透明的
- The building is roofed entirely with translucent corrugated plastic.这座建筑完全用半透明瓦楞塑料封顶。
- A small difference between them will render the composite translucent.微小的差别,也会使复合材料变成半透明。
n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管
- The vessel is fully loaded with cargo for Shanghai.这艘船满载货物驶往上海。
- You should put the water into a vessel.你应该把水装入容器中。
n.虫子；故障；窃听器；vt.纠缠；装窃听器
- There is a bug in the system.系统出了故障。
- The bird caught a bug on the fly.那鸟在飞行中捉住了一只昆虫。
n.男低音(歌手)；低音乐器；低音大提琴
- He answered my question in a surprisingly deep bass.他用一种低得出奇的声音回答我的问题。
- The bass was to give a concert in the park.那位男低音歌唱家将在公园中举行音乐会。
n.额外津贴；赏钱；小费；
- His perks include a car provided by the firm.他的额外津贴包括公司提供的一辆汽车。
- And the money is,of course,a perk.当然钱是额外津贴。
n. 偷听
- We caught him eavesdropping outside the window. 我们撞见他正在窗外偷听。
- Suddenly the kids,who had been eavesdropping,flew into the room. 突然间，一直在偷听的孩子们飞进屋来。
n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的
- After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
- They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见
- The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
- He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。
adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
- The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
- They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的
- He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
- He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。