智慧人生篇章 第70期:一个理想的童年需要什么?

 　　Earlier this week Sir Elton John expressed anxieties about how his young son, Zachary, might be treated when he goes to school.  本周早些时候，艾尔顿·约翰爵士坦言自己对儿子扎卡里的担心，

　　He fears he might face bullying 1 because his parents are gay and Britain can still be homophobic.  害怕他会因为父母是同性恋在学校受到欺负，毕竟英国人依旧排斥同性恋。
　　He may be right, though in all the schools I know, children come now from every type of family circumstance, and don't think twice about it.  他的顾虑或许有道理，但据我所知，现在学校里的学生来自各种家庭背景，这是毫无疑问的。
　　Nevertheless, the playground can be cruel and adults need to be vigilant 2.  尽管如此，学校里也可能会发生恶性事件，家长们需要保持警惕。
　　But Elton John's anxiety made me think more generally about how our children experience childhood and what we want for them from it.  不过，艾尔顿·约翰的担心让我从更广的层面思考孩子是如何度过童年的，我们又希望他们从中获得什么。
　　Of course, childhood is not a stage in life determined 3 by our biology but a human convention.  当然，童年不由遗传决定，而是社会习俗决定。
　　This is why we can sometimes get in a muddle 4 about it, especially about the point of transition to adulthood 5.  因此我们有时会感到茫然无措，这种情形在我们步入成年时更为尤甚。
　　We send mixed messages when we tell our children different stories about their level of maturity 6  给孩子讲述成年人关心的不同话题时，
　　in relation to getting married, casting a vote, taking out a loan, fighting for their country, and so on.  我们常常对结婚、投票、贷款、保家卫国等话题褒贬不一。
　　I once had an argument with someone who passionately 7 believed  我曾与某人就刑事责任年龄发生分歧，
　　that the age of criminal responsibility should be raised from ten to 16, even 18.  她坚信刑事责任年龄应从10岁升至16岁，甚至到18岁。
　　"We have to remember," she said, "that these young people are children."  “别忘了，”她说，“这些年轻人都还是小孩子。”
　　I was not unsympathetic, but all the time I kept hearing some words of my own teenage son,  我并非冷酷无情，但我总听到儿子对我说：
　　words most parents hear at some time, "Dad, stop treating me like a child. "  “爸爸，别把我当作小孩子。”相信绝大部分父母都听过这句话。
　　At one time getting a job was the rite 8 of passage out of childhood.  步入职场一度是人们告别童年的成年仪式，
　　But now unemployment suspends many young people between childhood and the adult world  然而失业现况将许多年轻人置于童年和成年世界之间，
　　with few helpful precedents 9 as to how to live well in this in-between existence.  却鲜有先例告诉他们该如何面对这一尴尬境地。
　　In the gospels, there's just one reference to the childhood of Jesus, though a significant one.  在基督教信条中，仅有一则谈到了基督的童年，却十分意味深长。
　　It's the story of a 12-year-old who gets taken by his parents to Jerusalem  故事中，一个12岁的孩子被父母带到耶路撒冷，
　　and inadvertently left behind when they and their extended family returned home.  他的父母却不小心落下了他，和壮大了的族群回家。
　　Mary and Joseph go looking for Jesus and find him in the temple, listening to the teachers and asking them questions.  之后，玛利亚和约瑟夫四处寻找耶稣，却发现他在寺庙里听老师讲课，向他们请教问题。
　　I find it striking that in an age when children would be valued not so much for their own sakes  我觉得很有意思的是，当人们还没有站在孩子的角度考虑他们将来的发展时
　　as for what they would become, productive workers and reproductive mothers,  或许成为勤劳的工人，或许成为几个孩子的母亲
　　that these busy and learned men take childhood seriously, make time for a young boy and pay him attention.  这些忙碌博学的老师竟然如此认真地对待这个小男孩，专门为他腾出时间，对他给以关注。
　　And the child, we are told, grew in wisdom.  如我们所知，这个孩子在智慧中成长。
　　The story takes us to the heart of what makes for a good childhood.  这一故事为我们道破了一个理想的童年需要什么。
　　The challenge is about how far we can offer our children this kind of interaction.  问题是我们能给孩子多大的影响。
　　For parents it's not easy.  当父母并不容易，
　　If both have to work and work means long journeys, it's not surprising that in our exhaustion 10 we fall back on the television and computer.  如果两个人一整天都要工作，不难想像精疲力尽的我们会让孩子用电视或电脑来学习。
　　But keeping children occupied is not the same as giving them our attention." 但不停给孩子布置任务并不等同于对他们给予关注。