The Communication Code Breakers

The Communication Code Breakers

By Richard G. Ensman, Jr.

PAGE DESIGN BY MICHELLE TI

At your next meeting, be a wise listener: Respond to what the other participants really mean, not necessarily what they say

1

Communication enables us to work together, but sometimes even our best efforts to communicate cause misunderstandings. Communication within group settings is especially challenging because people often speak in “code.” The code is what the speaker really means, even if he hasn’t said it. Group leaders who understand the code can be great facilitators.

Some of the codes you might hear in a typical meeting, as well as the ways you can crack the codes, include:

Talking too much: One participant moves through a long-winded explanation, seemingly to help others understand the issues involved. The code (what the speaker really means): “I’m very concerned about the issue under discussion, and I’m not sure everyone else understands it.” Cracking the code (how the wise listener responds): Ask, “What are the top three things we need to know in order to really understand this issue?”

Providing selective facts: He offers a smattering of unrelated or biased 1 information to support his point of view. The code: “I’ll do whatever I can to highlight my perspective.” Cracking the code: “Let’s pause for a moment and take a look at some of the other information presented today.”

Sitting passively: She does everything except participate; notice her blank stare, obvious lack of interest, or an overly compliant 2 posture 3. The code: “Something about this discussion doesn’t suit me and I don’t know how to express my views properly.” Cracking the code: “Joan often has interesting ideas and we haven’t heard from her yet. Joan, what do you think?”

Asking probing questions: He poses sharp, perhaps even hostile, questions to other members of the group. Without intervention 4, defensiveness 5 can result. The code:“Your questions are an affront 6 to my beliefs or practices.” Cracking the code: “You’ve asked a tough question. Help us understand the rationale behind the question.”

Vocabulary Focus

long-winded (adj) [5lCN5windid] having or using too many words

smattering (n) [5smAtErIN] a small, scattered 7 amount or number

intervention (n) [7intE(:)5venFEn] the act of intentionally 8 becoming involved in a difficult situation in order to improve it or prevent it from getting worse; to interfere 9

affront (n) [E5frQnt] a remark or action intended to insult or offend someone

Specialized 10 Terms

facilitator (n) 促进者；主导者 someone who helps a group reach a decision; a person who enables others to find their own solutions to problems or tasks