彭蒙惠英语：The Languages of Love
The Languages of Love
By Rachel Sawatzky
Learn to “speak and understand the unique languages of love
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It’s no secret that the desire to feel loved is a primary human need. Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another person. But giving and receiving love takes many forms. When do you most feel loved? One person may feel loved when given an expensive gift; another person may feel loved when hugged. Still another person may feel loved when encouraged through verbal compliments.
Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, says that all human beings express and receive love in different ways. He defines these as the five languages of love and gives his readers practical ways to show love creatively. Once you learn a person’s primary love language—the way they most feel loved—you will be able to express heartfelt love to that person in a way they can understand. Love is a choice. Some ways of showing love may not come naturally, but if you want to meet someone’s emotional needs, you need to learn to “speak” their unique love language by showing them love in a way that is most meaningful for them.
Start with your family. Each person in your family has unique needs and desires. Ask your family members to identify their predominant love language. Then begin to “speak” their language.
Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
Encouragement takes many forms. One way to affirm a loved one is through verbal compliments. All of us have areas of insecurity. Some people, however, need more encouragement than others. Speaking this love language requires empathy and the ability to see the world from the other person’s perspective. If a person’s love language is words of affirmation, your sincere verbal compliments can have a dramatic positive effect on that person. Never underestimate the power of an aptly spoken word.
Love Language #2: Quality Time
Giving someone “quality time” means giving this person your undivided attention. Make yourself available to listen to him exclusively or participate in activities he enjoys. The purpose of quality time is to experience something together. If a person’s primary love language is quality time, you may need to sacrifice your own desires to be available to that person.
Vocabulary Focus
heartfelt (adj) [5hB:tfelt] strongly felt and sincere
affirmation (n) [EfE:5meiFEn] the act of saying something is true or supporting someone or something; a positive statement
aptly (adv) [Aptli] suitably or right for a particular situation
sacrifice (v) [5sAkrifais] to give up something that is valuable in order to help another person
爱的语言
学习“说”爱和了解爱的独特语言
许美鸾 译
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尽人皆知，渴望感觉被爱是一种首要的人类感情需求。我们本性中的某种东西，呼唤着他人的爱。然而爱的施与受有许多形式。你在什么时候最能感受到被爱？有人觉得是收到一份昂贵礼物的时候，有人觉得是被拥抱或触摸的时候，还有的人觉得是受到口头赞美的时候。
《爱的五种语言》一书作者盖瑞·查普曼博士说，人类表达和接受爱的方式各有不同。他把这些方式定义成5种爱的语言，并且提供读者富于创意而实用的示爱方式。一旦你了解了一个人主要的爱的语言——就是当他们最感到被爱的时候——你就可以用他们能领会的方式向他们表达由衷的爱意。爱是一种选择。有些示爱的方式也许不是很自然，但是如果你要满足某人的感情需求，你需要学着“说”他们独特的爱的语言，也就是用对他们而言最有意义的方式示爱。
从你的家人开始。你家里的每个人都有自己个别的需求与渴望。请你的家庭成员说出他们独特的爱的语言，然后开始用他们的语言对他们“说”爱。
第一种爱的语言：肯定的话语
鼓励有很多种方式，其中一种是透过口头赞美来肯定所爱之人。我们每个人都有缺乏安全感的地方，但有些人较其他人更需要鼓励。要会说这种爱的语言，必须具备同情心和从他人角度看世界的能力。如果某个人的爱的语言是肯定的话语，你诚挚的称赞会对他产生意想不到的正面效果。切勿低估一句合宜话语的力量。
第二种爱的语言：优质时间
给一个人“优质时间”意味着你对他全神贯注。让你自己可以专心听他倾诉或参与他热衷的活动。优质时间的目的是为了共享经历。如果一个人主要的爱的语言是优质时间，你可能必须牺牲自己的需求来配合他。