2006年NPR美国国家公共电台一月-Social Work: The Ideal vs. The Reality

In 1991, I lived with a murderer, an albino Elvis impersonator, and a girl whose TV told her she was wicked. I was in London as a volunteer working with mentally ill homeless people, testing out a possible future as a social worker.

Smith Lodge 1 was the euphemistic name for the nuthouse where I worked and lived. As the only staff member there after 4 o clock, I became the housemother to an unholy herd 2 of schizophrenics, violent offenders 3 and HIV-positive prostitutes. Even though I had no mental health training, I was upbeat about my assignment and intrigued 4 by some of the characters and residents.

Colin, the albino Elvis personator surfaced right after I did. He was thin as dental floss and obsessed 5 with destroying the building s elevator. I d find him with his arms and face drenched 6 in black elevator grease. The streaks 7 on his transparent 8 white face made him look like the warlord of the asylum 9.

He passed the time with Elvis s songs, jittery 10 renditions of Love Me Tender and Viva Las Vegas . He performed at the nearby pub until becoming convinced that Win Skeletons were kept birding him when he ventured outside. He had to be hospitalized.

His breakdown 11 affected 12 me deeply. I started to realize that I was too connected to his suffering to really help him.

I did make some progress, finding grant money for a resident's bike ride across England to raise awareness 13 of his disease, Tourette's syndrome 14. The disease can cause convulsions and vulgar outburst.

Andrew always attired 15 in glaring spandex bike-shorts was so thrilled about the grant that he cussed like a sailor and collapsed 16 in a shining heap at my feet. Despite the good news, I still fretted 17 over his mental problems. In fact, I worried about everyone, and it was taking a toll 18. My doubts about becoming a social worker grew with each pint 19 of gins I consumed, and eventually I consumed six pints 20 every night.

Finally, there was Clyde, a 4-feet-11-inch native of French Guyana and a gentle sweet man. It was determined 21 that he was ready for independent living but he never would be. He needed a supportive community. He cried when the moving van arrived to transport his belongings 22 to his new home, a urine drenched housing project in one of London s welfare waste lands. His few things, clothes, toiletries, a framed photo of his long-dead mother, looked lonely in the back of the van. I couldn t bear the cruelty of the situation.

I knew then and there that I d never be a social worker because I never have or want the emotional detachment necessary for the job. I crossed the Atlanta to test out a career, I left there seeing that this kind of work would destroy me. I was the wrong person, too empathetic, too concerned about Colin, Andrew and Clyde.

In the end, I came to understand the old saying: If you live next to the cemetery 23, you can not cry for everyone. And it was clear that I d have to move on and live someplace else.

NEW WORDS:

albino 白化病患者
impersonator 模仿(名人等)的艺人
euphemistic 委婉的
schizophrenic 精神分裂症的
asylum 收容所, 精神病院
Guyana 圭亚那
dental floss 牙线
jittery = trembling
convulsion 震撼,动乱
attire in 穿上
toiletry 化妆品
detachment the state of not reacting to or being involved in something in an emothinal way