时间:2018-12-17 作者:英语课 分类:英语作文


英语课

   Do you like traveling alone or traveling with a group of people?


  学生情况:初三,公立学校学生,长远计划去美国读书。
  I like travel alone. There are two reasons.
  First, you can control your travel. That is mean can choose the way that you like, but when you travel with other people, you must consider other people, so you can't enjoy your travel. For example, you want to go to the Summer Place, but most people want to go to th Great Wall, so you can't choose your way.
  Second, if you travel alone, you will very relaxed. For example, when you buy ticket, you just need buy one ticket, if you travel alone, but if you travel with a group of people, you may consider may things. For instance 1, you will think about how to make ticket much cheaper and which places is most people like. It wil make everyone tired.
  点评:这是学生的第二篇作品,学生的作品基本没有经过训练,是比较原始的自我组织起来的结构,可以看到拥有比较完整的开头段和包含了两个分论点的主题段,但结尾段的缺失使得全文结构需要全方位的结构重组。显而易见的是字数不够的问题,还包括所书写的句式结构都非常简单,在一起学习了开头段和主题段的结构之后,重新写了自己的作品,最后根据给出的范文再次加深对结构的学习。
  学生重写的作品:
  Today, work pressure is so heavy that more and more people get mind sick so everyone wants to relax himself. They find many different ways to relax and discover one of the best way that called travel. Some people travel alone, others travel with a group of people. I think the best way is travel alone and there are two reasons.
  First, you can control your travel. It means 2 you can choose things that you want such as spot, food, hotel, but when you travel with others, you must consider others. For example, you want to eat Chinese food but most people want to eat Western food, so you have to eat Western food. You want to go to the Summer Place, but most people want to go to the Great Wall, so you can't choose your way. It a big disadvantage that traveling with others worse than traveling alone. Traveling alone can make you feel freedom.
  Second, if you travel alone, you will fee 3 relax. Because when you travel with others, you must obey the orders. For example, alough you feel tired, you have to get up one time, but if you travel alone, you can get up at any time that you want. You will feel relaxed. It is good for your healthy, too.
  给出的范文:
  In our modern society, an increasing number of people prefer to travel as their way to relax themselves. Whether we travel alone or we travel with a group has been a hot issue 4. Enjoying being free and relaxed, I definitely 5 am in favor 6 of traveling alone.
  First of all, traveling alone means freedom. For me, planning where to go is of vital 7 importance. For example, if I travel in Beijing, the Forbidden City is the unique one that I desire to visit. Time permitted 8, I would rather have a good time in the Forbidden City twice than visit some other attractions 9 in Beijing. Only if I have the chance to travel by myself, can I make the final decision about which place or places of interests that I will visit.
  Second of all, traveling alone brings me relaxation 10. If I travel with a group, I then have to consider other people's needs, including the price of the entry tickets and the taste for food. Once, I went to Hongkong with my colleagues 11. During the trip, they only choose to go to some place with cheaper fee. Besides, it was the food of western style that they wanted to eat. Traveling with them simply made me feel tired I wished I had traveled alone with what I wanted for relaxation.
  Traveling alone gives me nothing but freedom and relaxation, as a result of which, traveling alone will always be my only choice ever.

1 instance
n.例,例证,实例
  • Can you quote me a recent instance?你能给我举一个最近的例子吗?
  • He's a greedy boy,yesterday,for instance,he ate all our biscuits!他是个贪吃的孩子――比如,他昨天把我们的饼干都吃了!
2 means
n.方法,手段,折中点,物质财富
  • That man used artful means to find out secrets.那人使用狡猾的手段获取机密。
  • We must get it done by some means or other.我们总得想办法把它干完。
3 fee
n.费(会费、学费等);酬金,小费;所有权;vt.付费给
  • Is this money enough for the tuition fee?这些钱交学费够吗?
  • The lawyer undertook the case without a fee.这律师免费承办那个案件。
4 issue
n.出版,发行,(报刊等)期、号,论点,问题,结果, (水,血等的)流出;vt.使流出,放出,发行(钞票等),发布(命令),出版(书等)发给;vi.发行,流出,造成...结果,进行辩护,传下
  • I bought the book the day after its issue.这书出版后的第一天,我就去买了它。
  • I'll support her down the line on that issue.在那个问题上我将全力支持她。
5 definitely
adv.一定地,肯定地;明确地,确切地
  • The team will definitely lose if he doesn't play.如果他不参加比赛,这个队肯定会输。
  • I shall definitely be home before six o'clock.6点以前,我一定回家。
6 favor
n.好感;赞同;好事;vt.赞同,喜爱;有利于
  • She is out of favor with her employer.她失去了雇主的欢心。
  • The new teacher finds favor in the eyes of the parents.那位新老师很受家长的欢迎。
7 vital
adj.生死攸关的,重大的,生命的,生机的,至关重要的,所必需的
  • These matters are vital to the national security.这些事情对国家安全至关重要。
  • This point is vital to my argument.这一点对我的论据来说是非常重要的。
8 permitted
允许( permit的过去式和过去分词 ); 许可; 许用
  • Radios are not permitted in the library. 图书馆内不许使用收音机。
  • Entrance is permitted only on production of a ticket. 出示门票才可进入。
9 attractions
n.吸引( attraction的名词复数 );具有吸引力的事物;有吸引力的特征(或品质、人);(尤指两性间的)爱慕
  • Venice is one of the great tourist attractions of the world. 威尼斯是世界上令人向往的旅游胜地之一。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Three others like to see some natural attractions of beauty and peacefulness. 另外三个人喜欢美丽、安静的自然景观。 来自《简明英汉词典》
10 relaxation
n.松弛,放松;休息;消遣;娱乐
  • The minister has consistently opposed any relaxation in the law.部长一向反对法律上的任何放宽。
  • She listens to classical music for relaxation.她听古典音乐放松。
11 colleagues
n.同事,同僚( colleague的名词复数 );同人
  • He wanted to confer with his colleagues before reaching a decision. 他想与他的同事先商议一下再作出决定。
  • She is held in high esteem by her colleagues. 她深受同事的敬重。
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