【听英文对话做选择】培养成功的孩子
时间:2018-12-03 作者:英语课 分类:听英文对话做选择
英语课
Interviewer: Hello, everyone, and welcome to our show, Families in Transition. We'd also like to welcome our guest today, Dr. Philip Monroe, director of the Family Relations Center here in our city. He is also the author of the book, Rearing Children for Success from the Front Lines.
Philip: Thank you. It is a pleasure to be here on your program today.
Interviewer: So, first of all, what inspired you to write your book and what is it all about?
Philip: Well, it is often said that becoming a parent is one job you can land without experience or credentials 1, and that is really true. I guess you could say that through trial and error . . . and a number of mistakes . . . I realized that I personally needed to figure out how to become a better parent, too. I mean, for myself. And before I got married, I had read numerous books on child rearing and child psychology 2 to try to prepare myself for this transitional phase in my own life, but every family and situation is so unique, and the challenges of raising children are often so complex that not one guidebook can fully 3 prepare you for what awaits you on the front lines.
Interviewer: Yeah, that's for sure. Um, Doctor. How many children do you have?
Philip: We have five. [Really? That's . . . that's quite a lot.] Well, yeah, and they're all unique, and there's never a dull moment around our house.
Interviewer: I bet there's not. That sounds like many houses, including my own. [Exactly.] And your book. What do you mean by successful children?
Philip: Well, I should first point out that I'm not thinking in terms of the most standard definition, one that associates success with financial or educational gains.
Interviewer: Well, what do you mean by success then?
Philip: Well, I'm referring to success in understanding and managing children's own emotional, moral, and even spiritual welfare. For example, people, umm . . . people get angry and depressed 4, and that's a part of life, and just telling kids not to be upset or frustrated 5 denies the naturalness of these feelings, and it doesn't teach children how to cope with their feelings.
Interviewer: So, you're saying that it's okay to get angry?
Philip: We all do, I mean, are there times when you get angry?
Interviewer: Well, yeah. Of course.
Philip: Well, that's, I guess, what I'm trying to say . . . is that we all get angry, but learning how to express it appropriately is the key. Not to digress here, but if people are expecting a simple, textbook solution to raising and understanding their children, then they don't understand or underestimate the realities of rearing children.
Interviewer: I think I see your point. So, for all of us out there struggling to raise our children, what can we, as parents, do to better understand and relate to our children?
Philip: When you first get married and promise to love and cherish your spouse 6, few of us are contemplating 7, at that moment, the potential challenges we will face five, ten, or twenty years down the road. You don't look over at your spouse, or future spouse, and say, "Well, honey. There's a good chance we will get divorced in a few years." I don't think anyone was thinking that. "Uh. Isn't that any interesting fact?" Of course, this idea is the furthest from our minds, and it might be a blessing 8 that we don't have crystal ball to look into the future.
Interviewer: I agree with you there. I think it's best not to know what's coming up.
Philip: I think in many cases.
Interviewer: I know in my own life. I don't know if I would dare to do the things that we've needed to do if I had known what was coming down the road.
Philip: Exactly. And I think that although we hear stories about the difficulties in raising children, that seems light years away, and we would rather not contemplate 9 that on, well, I think on our wedding days. However, we must face the realities of life sooner or later, and having some skills in your, let's say, your emotional toolbox might provide us with the emotional, physical, and spiritual strength later on when we really need to drawn 10 on it.
Interviewer: Like when, for example?
Philip: First of all, one should understand that there are many factors that influence how children grow up and develop including the environment around them, genetics, peers, school teachers, and education within the home.
Interviewer: Yeah, I can see that all of that really would affect kids.
Philip: Exactly. However, as parents, we have more control over some of these than others.
Interviewer: Can I just interject for a moment. [Sure.] I think we also have more control than we realize over some of these factors.
Philip: Right, it's just that I think there are variety of things---peers are one---but also, within ourselves, we have the the ability to influence, I think, children. However, I think parents often beat themselves up emotionally thinking that must bear all the blame for any of their children's failings. In other words, while parents perhaps have the most impact on our children's decisions and attitudes, we can't ignore the fact that children . . . uh, particularly teenagers . . . tend to follow the popular crowd, and their actions often mirror this.
Interviewer: So, what else?
Philip: Well, parents need to establish clear boundaries and expectations for your children, and be consistent on how you implement 11 them. I mean, children often see rules as a way to limit their freedom when in fact we're just trying to protect them from often negative consequences of their actions. But when children feel that they're being treated fairly, and we validate 12 their feelings, they'll respond . . . . at least we hope they will respond . . . better to our requests, and in return, they can earn greater latitude 13 in what they are allowed to do, and they no longer see rules and barriers as things that stop them.
Interviewer: That makes a lot of sense.
Philip: And perhaps, finally, establish good lines of communication with your spouse and children. Being open to their ideas and lavishing 14 them with specific praise often will build reserves in their emotional bank accounts. And doing this will foster perhaps positive relationships with them. And also telling them you know how they feel---and this is a common mistake that I often make--- "I know how you feel" . . .
Interviewer: Yeah, I can remember my mom saying that.
Philip: Right, and then we often say that well because we have a billion years of experience will often just sound condescending 15 to them and perhaps push them away, even if teenagers are some of the hardest creatures on the planet to understand.
Interviewer: Yeah, I think mine is for sure. Okay, any closing remarks on this topic before we have to go? You make it sound so easy.
Philip: Well, there . . . I think there were a number of years I thought about this, but only recently I've decided 16 to pen some of these ideas because there's never a point we, quote "arrive" close quote, at being the ideal parent. I mean it involves a lot of trial and error, missteps, and even pain along the way. And more often than not, valleys of heartache but that accompany peaks of joy. All I can say is that we can never give up on our children, even when they yell and scream in our faces. It's hard, but we just can't take it personally. And if there's one last thing I could say would be to have hope that things will work out.
Interviewer: Thank you so much. That sounds like a really important message and important book. Thank you for joining our show today.
Philip: Thank YOU. My pleasure.
Philip: Thank you. It is a pleasure to be here on your program today.
Interviewer: So, first of all, what inspired you to write your book and what is it all about?
Philip: Well, it is often said that becoming a parent is one job you can land without experience or credentials 1, and that is really true. I guess you could say that through trial and error . . . and a number of mistakes . . . I realized that I personally needed to figure out how to become a better parent, too. I mean, for myself. And before I got married, I had read numerous books on child rearing and child psychology 2 to try to prepare myself for this transitional phase in my own life, but every family and situation is so unique, and the challenges of raising children are often so complex that not one guidebook can fully 3 prepare you for what awaits you on the front lines.
Interviewer: Yeah, that's for sure. Um, Doctor. How many children do you have?
Philip: We have five. [Really? That's . . . that's quite a lot.] Well, yeah, and they're all unique, and there's never a dull moment around our house.
Interviewer: I bet there's not. That sounds like many houses, including my own. [Exactly.] And your book. What do you mean by successful children?
Philip: Well, I should first point out that I'm not thinking in terms of the most standard definition, one that associates success with financial or educational gains.
Interviewer: Well, what do you mean by success then?
Philip: Well, I'm referring to success in understanding and managing children's own emotional, moral, and even spiritual welfare. For example, people, umm . . . people get angry and depressed 4, and that's a part of life, and just telling kids not to be upset or frustrated 5 denies the naturalness of these feelings, and it doesn't teach children how to cope with their feelings.
Interviewer: So, you're saying that it's okay to get angry?
Philip: We all do, I mean, are there times when you get angry?
Interviewer: Well, yeah. Of course.
Philip: Well, that's, I guess, what I'm trying to say . . . is that we all get angry, but learning how to express it appropriately is the key. Not to digress here, but if people are expecting a simple, textbook solution to raising and understanding their children, then they don't understand or underestimate the realities of rearing children.
Interviewer: I think I see your point. So, for all of us out there struggling to raise our children, what can we, as parents, do to better understand and relate to our children?
Philip: When you first get married and promise to love and cherish your spouse 6, few of us are contemplating 7, at that moment, the potential challenges we will face five, ten, or twenty years down the road. You don't look over at your spouse, or future spouse, and say, "Well, honey. There's a good chance we will get divorced in a few years." I don't think anyone was thinking that. "Uh. Isn't that any interesting fact?" Of course, this idea is the furthest from our minds, and it might be a blessing 8 that we don't have crystal ball to look into the future.
Interviewer: I agree with you there. I think it's best not to know what's coming up.
Philip: I think in many cases.
Interviewer: I know in my own life. I don't know if I would dare to do the things that we've needed to do if I had known what was coming down the road.
Philip: Exactly. And I think that although we hear stories about the difficulties in raising children, that seems light years away, and we would rather not contemplate 9 that on, well, I think on our wedding days. However, we must face the realities of life sooner or later, and having some skills in your, let's say, your emotional toolbox might provide us with the emotional, physical, and spiritual strength later on when we really need to drawn 10 on it.
Interviewer: Like when, for example?
Philip: First of all, one should understand that there are many factors that influence how children grow up and develop including the environment around them, genetics, peers, school teachers, and education within the home.
Interviewer: Yeah, I can see that all of that really would affect kids.
Philip: Exactly. However, as parents, we have more control over some of these than others.
Interviewer: Can I just interject for a moment. [Sure.] I think we also have more control than we realize over some of these factors.
Philip: Right, it's just that I think there are variety of things---peers are one---but also, within ourselves, we have the the ability to influence, I think, children. However, I think parents often beat themselves up emotionally thinking that must bear all the blame for any of their children's failings. In other words, while parents perhaps have the most impact on our children's decisions and attitudes, we can't ignore the fact that children . . . uh, particularly teenagers . . . tend to follow the popular crowd, and their actions often mirror this.
Interviewer: So, what else?
Philip: Well, parents need to establish clear boundaries and expectations for your children, and be consistent on how you implement 11 them. I mean, children often see rules as a way to limit their freedom when in fact we're just trying to protect them from often negative consequences of their actions. But when children feel that they're being treated fairly, and we validate 12 their feelings, they'll respond . . . . at least we hope they will respond . . . better to our requests, and in return, they can earn greater latitude 13 in what they are allowed to do, and they no longer see rules and barriers as things that stop them.
Interviewer: That makes a lot of sense.
Philip: And perhaps, finally, establish good lines of communication with your spouse and children. Being open to their ideas and lavishing 14 them with specific praise often will build reserves in their emotional bank accounts. And doing this will foster perhaps positive relationships with them. And also telling them you know how they feel---and this is a common mistake that I often make--- "I know how you feel" . . .
Interviewer: Yeah, I can remember my mom saying that.
Philip: Right, and then we often say that well because we have a billion years of experience will often just sound condescending 15 to them and perhaps push them away, even if teenagers are some of the hardest creatures on the planet to understand.
Interviewer: Yeah, I think mine is for sure. Okay, any closing remarks on this topic before we have to go? You make it sound so easy.
Philip: Well, there . . . I think there were a number of years I thought about this, but only recently I've decided 16 to pen some of these ideas because there's never a point we, quote "arrive" close quote, at being the ideal parent. I mean it involves a lot of trial and error, missteps, and even pain along the way. And more often than not, valleys of heartache but that accompany peaks of joy. All I can say is that we can never give up on our children, even when they yell and scream in our faces. It's hard, but we just can't take it personally. And if there's one last thing I could say would be to have hope that things will work out.
Interviewer: Thank you so much. That sounds like a really important message and important book. Thank you for joining our show today.
Philip: Thank YOU. My pleasure.
1 credentials
n.证明,资格,证明书,证件
- He has long credentials of diplomatic service.他的外交工作资历很深。
- Both candidates for the job have excellent credentials.此项工作的两个求职者都非常符合资格。
2 psychology
n.心理,心理学,心理状态
- She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
- He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。
3 fully
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
- The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
- They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
4 depressed
adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的
- When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
- His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。
5 frustrated
adj.挫败的,失意的,泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 );挫败;使受挫折;令人沮丧
- It's very easy to get frustrated in this job. 这个工作很容易令人懊恼。
- The bad weather frustrated all our hopes of going out. 恶劣的天气破坏了我们出行的愿望。 来自《简明英汉词典》
6 spouse
n.配偶(指夫或妻)
- Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
- What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么?
7 contemplating
深思,细想,仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 ); 注视,凝视; 考虑接受(发生某事的可能性); 深思熟虑,沉思,苦思冥想
- You're too young to be contemplating retirement. 你考虑退休还太年轻。
- She stood contemplating the painting. 她站在那儿凝视那幅图画。
8 blessing
n.祈神赐福;祷告;祝福,祝愿
- The blessing was said in Hebrew.祷告用了希伯来语。
- A double blessing has descended upon the house.双喜临门。
9 contemplate
vt.盘算,计议;周密考虑;注视,凝视
- The possibility of war is too horrifying to contemplate.战争的可能性太可怕了,真不堪细想。
- The consequences would be too ghastly to contemplate.后果不堪设想。
10 drawn
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的
- All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
- Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。
11 implement
n.(pl.)工具,器具;vt.实行,实施,执行
- Don't undertake a project unless you can implement it.不要承担一项计划,除非你能完成这项计划。
- The best implement for digging a garden is a spade.在花园里挖土的最好工具是铁锹。
12 validate
vt.(法律)使有效,使生效
- You need an official signature to validate the order.你要有正式的签字,这张汇票才能生效。
- In order to validate the agreement,both parties sign it.为使协议有效,双方在上面签了字。
13 latitude
n.纬度,行动或言论的自由(范围),(pl.)地区
- The latitude of the island is 20 degrees south.该岛的纬度是南纬20度。
- The two cities are at approximately the same latitude.这两个城市差不多位于同一纬度上。
14 lavishing
v.过分给予,滥施( lavish的现在分词 )
- With the private sector sitting on its hands, Western governments are lavishing subsidies on CCS. 只有一些私营部门使用碳截存技术,西方政府在这项技术上挥霍了不少的津贴。 来自互联网
- We were lavishing a little respect on China, which always works well with China. 我们给予中国一点尊重,而这样做对中国来说,通常都很受用。 来自互联网
15 condescending
adj.谦逊的,故意屈尊的
- He has a condescending attitude towards women. 他对女性总是居高临下。
- He tends to adopt a condescending manner when talking to young women. 和年轻女子说话时,他喜欢摆出一副高高在上的姿态。