品茗经典-Unit 05 What Motherhood Really Means 母爱的真谛

What Motherhood Really Means

Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch she casually 1 mentions she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know , " she says , " no more sleeping in on weekends , no more spontaneous holidays..."

But that's not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal , but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be vulnerable forever.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without thinking: "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children , she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I looked at her carefully manicured nails and stylish 2 suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is , becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive 3 level of a bear protecting her cub 4.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will he professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting, and she will think her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.

I want my friend to know that every decision will no longer be routine. That a five-year-old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at a restaurant will become a major dilemma 5. The issues of independence and gender 6 identity will be weighed against the prospect 7 that a child molester 8 may he lurking 9 in the lavatory 10. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the added weight of pregnancy 11, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her own life, now so important, will be of less value lo her once she has a child. She would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years not to accomplish her own dreams — but to watch her children accomplish theirs.

I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a ball. 1 want to capture for her the belly 12 laugh of a baby who is touching 13 the soft fur of a dog lor the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

My friend's look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," 1 say finally. Then, squeezing my friend's hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere 14 mortal women who stumble their way inlo this holiest of callings.

母爱的真谛 岁月如梭, 朋友已经老大不小了｡ 我们坐在一起吃午饭的时候, 她不经意提到她和丈夫正考虑“要小孩”｡她的意思不外乎是说, 她的生物钟开始进入倒计时, 不得不考虑为人之母的事情了｡ “我们正在做一项调查,” 她半开玩笑地说道｡“你觉得我该要个小孩吗?” “它会改变你的生活,” 我谨慎地回答道, 尽量使自己的语气保持客观｡ “这我知道,” 她答道｡“周六睡不成懒觉,再也不能随心所欲地休假了……” 但我说的绝非这些｡我在琢磨该怎么跟她说｡我想让她知道她在分娩课上永远不可能学到的东西: 分娩的有形伤口可以愈合, 但是做母亲的情感伤口会裸露在外, 她因此变得永远脆弱｡ 我想告诫她: 每当她看报纸时就会情不自禁地联想: “如果那是我的孩子可如何是好啊?” 每一次飞机失事､每一场火灾, 都会让她提心吊胆｡每当看到那些忍饥挨饿的孩子们的照片, 她就会思索: 世上还有什么比眼睁睁地看着自己的孩子饿死更悲惨呢? 我打量着她精修细剪的指甲和时尚前卫的着装, 心想:不管她打扮得多么精致, 做了母亲后, 她会变得像护崽的母熊那样原始｡ 一声紧急的呼喊——“妈咪!”, 会让她毫不犹豫地摔掉最好的水晶｡ 我觉得应该提醒她, 不管她在职业生涯上打拼了多少年, 一旦为人之母, 工作就会脱离常轨｡她当然可以请人照顾孩子, 但说不定哪天她要去参加一个非常重要的商务会议, 却忍不住想起宝宝身上的甜甜乳香｡ 她不得不拼命克制自己, 才不至于为了看看孩子是否安然无恙而中途跑回家｡ 我想让朋友知道, 她将再也不能按部就班地去过每一天｡在餐馆, 5岁的男孩想进男厕而不愿进女厕将成为摆在她眼前的一大难题｡尊重孩子的独立性和性别意识, 还是冒险被潜伏在厕所的儿童性骚扰者侵害? 任凭她在办公室多么果断干练, 作为一名母亲, 她就得经常左思右想｡ 注视着我这位漂亮迷人的朋友, 我想让她放心, 她最终会恢复到怀孕前的体重, 但是她对自己的感觉已然不同｡对她来说, 她现在非常珍视的生命将随着孩子的诞生而变得微不足道｡为了救自己的孩子, 她时刻愿意献出自己的生命｡而且她也开始了新一轮的期盼, 不是为了实现自己的梦想, 而是看着她的孩子梦想成真｡ 我朋友和她丈夫的关系也会发生变化, 只是并非她现在想的那样｡我希望她能理解, 对一个总是细心地给婴儿搽粉或从来都毫不犹豫地和孩子玩耍的男人, 你真是爱也爱不够｡我想她应该知道, 她会由于一些现在看来毫不浪漫的原因而再次深深地恋上丈夫｡ 我想向朋友形容自己看到孩子学会击棒球时的喜悦之情,与她分享宝宝第一次触摸狗狗绒毛时的捧腹大笑｡我想让她感受这快乐, 这真实得令人心痛的快乐｡ 朋友疑惑的表情让我意识到自己已是热泪盈眶｡“你永远都不会后悔,” 我最后说道｡然后, 我紧紧地握住朋友的手, 为她､为我､也为每一位艰难跋涉､准备响应那神圣召唤的平凡女性献上自己的祈祷｡