听播客学英语 58 如何处理旧沙发

 　　Today we learn about how to get rid of things.

　　Kevin and Joanne have an old sofa. In fact, it used to be Kevin’s sofa in the good old days when he was a student and before he had met Joanne. The sofa is dirty and stained, because Kevin has spilled beer on it, several times. The wooden frame is broken, because Kevin and about 10 friends sat on the sofa once to watch the World Cup final on television. The sofa is torn, because Kevin’s cat used to sharpen his claws on it. Joanne has had enough. “That sofa has to go,” she says. “We have to get rid of it.”
　　“That is my sofa”, says Kevin. “We go back a long way. It is part of my history. We cannot get rid of it.”
　　“Yes, we can,” says Joanne. “We will go to IKEA on Saturday to buy a new sofa.” That was the wrong thing to say. Kevin does not want to get rid of his old sofa. And especially he does not want to go to IKEA on Saturday with hundreds of other people. He wants to go to a football match with hundreds of other people instead.
　　Kevin and Joanne reach a compromise. They will get rid of the old sofa. They will buy a new sofa on the internet. There will be no trip to IKEA. And Kevin can go to the football match.
　　“How shall we get rid of the sofa?” asks Kevin. “Perhaps we could sell it on eBay.”
　　“Don’t be silly,” says Joanne. “No-one will want to buy a dirty, broken sofa on eBay.”
　　“Perhaps we can just take it outside and leave it in the street,” says Kevin. “Eventually the Council will take it away.”
　　“No they won’t,” says Joanne. “And we will probably be prosecuted 1 for dumping rubbish in the street.”
　　“I could take the sofa into the garden and set fire to it,” suggests Kevin.
　　“Now you are being ridiculous,” says Joanne. “George can borrow a van from his work, and you and George can put the sofa in the van and take it to the tip.” The “tip” is the place where people can take things they do not want in order to get rid of them. There are big containers for different sorts of rubbish – for paper and cardboard 2, for glass, for engine oil, for old fridges, for wood, for garden rubbish and so on. And there is lots of room for old sofas.
　　So George and Kevin put the sofa in the van and get rid of it at the tip. Then they go to the football match together, where they watch United lose 3-0 to the team at the bottom of the league. They are not happy. “They need to get rid of that useless manager,” says George. “They need to get rid of that useless goalkeeper,” says Kevin.
　　When they get home, they find that the new sofa has arrived. They sit down on it and open a couple of cans of beer. “If either of you spill beer on the new sofa,” says Joanne “you will both be dead. I will get rid of you both myself!”